As Long As You're There
by Criminalmindschick221
Summary: JJ likes Reid and Reid likes JJ. It should be easy, but with his quirky awkwardness combined with her private lifestyle they just can't seem to figure it out. Will they eventually connect...or will life get in the way?
1. War and Peace

**Hi! Thanks for reading, I hope you like it :) This story takes place before JJ is a profiler and after "In Heat." She's dating Will, but they haven't concieved Henry yet. So this takes place around Season 4 or 5, somewhere in that general area. **

_"Yes, love, ...but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. I knew that feeling of love which is the essence of the soul, for which no object is needed. And I know that blissful feeling now too. To love one's neighbours; to love one's enemies. To love everything - to Love God in all His manifestations. Some one dear to one can be loved with human love; but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. And that was why I felt such joy when I felt that I loved that man. What happened to him? Is he alive? ...Loving with human love, one may pass from love to hatred; but divine love cannot change. Nothing, not even death, can shatter it. It is the very nature of the soul. And how many people I have hated in my life. And of all people none I have loved and hated more than her... If it were only possible for me to see her once more... once, looking into those eyes to say..."_

_I love you…_ Spencer Reid thought as he read these freakishly relatable lines from one of his favorite novels, War and Peace. His heart pumped as he scanned that page over and over, line by line only to realize how much he wished he had said I love you to people he cared about when he'd had the chance. To his father before he left, to his mother before he sent her away and to _her_… He had actually had chances to tell her his feelings plenty of times, but his nervousness always took over and every single time he ended up deciding against it. _I love you…_ Why were those words so hard to say? Sure, he could tell her that he liked her, or that he cared about her, but that wouldn't get the message across and, most of all, it would probably lead to his worst fear; rejection. The one terrible part in all of this was that...she was his best friend. If he ruined that, everything else in his lift would completely fall apart. He sighed as more thoughts of her refusal coursed through his mind. _No, not today._ Today wouldn't be the day he told her, but someday…he would.

Snapping out of his thoughts and back into reality, Reid heard the front doors open a few yards in front of him. A tan, handsome man walked in with a bag slung over one of his broad shoulders. He smiled at the young doctor, showing off his perfect white teeth. Who else could it be other than the one and only Derek Morgan?

"Hey kid, what are you doing here so early?" Morgan set his bag down on his desk and then sat down in the chair sitting in front of it. "You're not having those headaches again, are you?" His deep, chocolate-brown eyes filled with concern.

"No, no. I just wanted to get here early today and read a little…" Reid shrugged, nonchalantly.

"You're waiting for her again, aren't you?" Morgan sighed with a smirk crossing his face. "Come on, you at least need to be less obvious if you're going to do this. You're lucky it was me that walked in instead of her because I'm sure she'd be more than a little surprised to find you sitting here alone, reading a book in the office this early."

Reid let out an uncomfortable sigh. "I'm not _just _waiting for her." He shut his book and set it down next to him. "I read a survey that was taken all around the US and it said that the best way into a woman's heart was through her stomach." He reached over to pick up a box on his desk that was full of some doughnuts. "They're not just for her though…I don't want to be too noticeable." He was glad he could finally talk to someone about all of this.

Morgan laughed a bit. "Are you ever going to tell me what happened on that little date you two went on a couple of years ago? I mean, it had to be pretty good if you're still crushing on her now." He grinned, mischievously. The look he had in his eye expressed his obvious crave for the details of that night.

_The date._ Reid remembered it perfectly. Either because of his memory or because of the fun he'd had during it. Football had never really been one of his strengths or interests for that matter so as they walked into the stadium he felt completely out of his element. He recognized the field and remembered some of the rules he'd read in books before, but he still wasn't very conscious about what was going on while large grown men tackled each other for the small, awkwardly shaped ball. JJ pretty much spent most of the time explaining what was happening to him and the best part was that it didn't seem liked she minded. It wasn't until the last quarter of the game that things started to get interesting. The QB for the Redskins threw a nice clean pass to one of the receivers. He was about 10 yards from the end zone, but when the defense from the other time tried to catch him he did a stutter step kind of thing and dashed past them. He made it all the way across a large colored line, getting a touchdown for his team. As Reid watched and processed what had just happened, he was more than slightly surprised when everyone sitting around him shot out of their seats, cheering…even JJ. He got up quickly and looked at the blonde woman beside him. She was dressed in all Redskins colors and was cheering loudly with her hands in the air like a true fan. He loved the way that she was so passionate about everything she did. Suddenly she turned towards him and he gave her two thumbs up because he wasn't sure what else to do with her sudden attention. Luckily she smiled widely and embraced him in a hug. He was caught off guard, but recovered quickly to return her hug with a tight squeeze. It felt so right for her to be so close to him, but he wasn't sure that she was feeling the same way. When she pulled back they made eye contact with their faces inches apart. Reid saw something flash through her eyes, but it went too quickly for him to read. Was it hesitation? Regret? Desire? He didn't know. Next thing he knew the beautiful woman standing in front of him started to lean in. He wasn't sure what was happening. For once in his life his brain was frozen and not processing what was going on. Were they about to kiss? Or hug? Maybe he was just imagining the whole entire thing. Their eyes met again for a split second just before their lips met. Hers were blank, but she must have seen something in his because she turned her head to the side before her lips touched his. She had been so close and Reid knew that she had gone in for a kiss, but had changed her mind. She had changed her mind…he tried not to act disappointed. He'd kissed a girl once…in high school, but he hadn't seen fireworks like you were supposed to if it was true love. JJ's soft pink lips just looked so kissable that he was sure that a kiss would feel different with her, but he'd missed his chance. The Redskins won the game that night and Reid took JJ home without even so much as a hug goodbye. There was obviously an awkward tension between them, but the next day…it was all forgotten. Now, thinking back on that embarrassing experience, Reid didn't really want to relive it.

"Nothing happened. We just watched the game and then I drove her home…" The young profiler altered the story a bit and then shrugged. "She's really into that kind of stuff." He smirked slightly to himself.

"I bet you wish more happened, don't you?" Morgan asked, leaning closer to him so that he could read his facial expressions better. He winked, maliciously.

Reid rolled his eyes before turning around and picking up his coffee cup. He hoped he made it obvious enough to him that he wasn't going to answer. As he took another sip of the warm drink, he found himself immensely relieved when Morgan got the hint and changed the subject to something less JJ related.

"So loverboy…" Morgan paused to make sure that Reid had heard the new nickname that he was going to start using, "I've always wondered…Is your innocent awkwardness all an act to lure the ladies in?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Is your arrogant cockiness all an act?" Reid countered, giving Morgan a blank stare.

This comment made Morgan pause for a moment to return his stare. "Touché." he muttered as the front doors opened again. They both turned around to see which one of their colleagues was going to be joining them now.

"Hey JJ." Morgan's voice was smooth and put together.

It was _JJ_…Even at this early in the morning he was surprised at how put together she looked. Every time he saw her his heart started pumping rapidly in his chest. This time in particular, just by the way that she was dressed, he remembered the first time he met her…well actually talked to her. It had been on the plane to another one of their cases, this one being JJ's first.

_"Mind if I sit here?" She had asked, giving him a bright smile. He melted into her eyes…they were so blue that he almost forgot to respond to her question. _

_"Oh uhh…yes. I mean no. I mean- you can sit here." Reid rambled, realizing how stupid he probably sounded right now. Across from him he saw Elle smirking to herself while 'reading a book'. He ignored her, "Jennifer right?" It was his first time talking to her so he wanted to make sure he actually got her name right. _

_The blonde woman nodded as she sat down in the seat beside him. "You can call me JJ." She crossed her legs and took a small sip of her coffee. _

_Reid smiled back at her, wondering why he was finding it so hard to talk to her. When he had met Elle and Penelope he'd had no problem figuring out what to say to them, but now…he was at a complete loss for words. "I'm Dr. Reid…well…Spencer Reid." He glanced at the ground nervously. It was hard to hold eye contact with her for some reason. He felt like she was staring straight through him. _

_"I know who you are." A gentle smile grazed her lips and her eyes lit up faintly as the plane started rolling down the runway. She seemed excited for her first case. "I've heard a lot about you, Dr. Reid, but don't worry they were all good things." She winked almost flirtatiously…almost. "Did you really join the BAU when you were 20?" She went on to ask him with her eyes wide. _

_"I was 21, but it was no big deal. I have an eidetic memory so I just found everything really easy…except for the physical stuff." Reid examined her for a few moments, profiling. "You're not much older than I was then though." He gave her a friendly smile. _

_"I'm 25, but it was a lot easier for me to get here than it was for you. I went to college for mass communications and journalism…those kinds of things, but you guys all have more than one degree in engineering and psychology…" JJ shook her head._

_"Yea, but it was nothing." Reid never liked to brag about himself. "I'm sure it was equally as hard to get into the FBI for media anyway, seeing as we've never had a liaison before. It's a pretty big accomplishment." _

_JJ shrugged, modestly and then smirked at him. "You could say that." She laughed lightly. "I think I'm really gonna like it here though…it seems like you guys are all part of a family."_

_"You will be too." Reid smiled and nodded. "Plus we get to fly on a private jet all the time. It's pretty nice to feel important."_

_"I know what you mean." JJ chuckled. "So Dr. Reid…" He liked the way that she said his name…it sounded seductive, but he was sure he was imagining it. "What is it like to have an eidetic memory?" She examined him._

_Reid shrugged. "It's kind of like…I have no idea how to explain it." He thought for a few seconds. "I guess it's just proof that I know everything." He joked. _

_"Oh sure." JJ rolled her eyes. "You are a man…" _

_"What about men?" Reid gave her an amused look. _

_The corners of JJ's mouth curved upwards. "They have to know everything…don't they? I thought you were going to be different…but…" she teased, not looking him in the eyes. _

_Morgan had watched and listened to most of their conversation so when JJ started teasing he smiled smugly to himself. "Wow…I like her." He muttered. "She gets the hang of this real quick." He winked at her over top of his book. _

The rest of the plane ride had gone like that. The two of them had talked each other's ears off and Reid found himself _already _falling for his blonde colleague. How could he not? She was so sweet and modest. The way that she cared about people's feelings and found a way to empathize with anyone that crossed her path was amazing. It astonished Reid every single day. JJ was flawless to him and she always would be.

Morgan gave the blonde woman one of his charming smiles, but she barely acknowledged it. Instead she gave him a slight nod and rushed up to her office. She obviously wasn't in a good mood this morning. "Uh oh…looks like you're out of luck, kid. It's one of _those_ mornings."

Reid shook his head. He wasn't going to let a bad morning ruin the perfectly good donuts he had saved for her. He walked over to the coffee machine, got her a cup, picked up a donut with a napkin and then strolled up to her office. Through the window of her door he saw that she hadn't started working yet and felt relieved because from experience he knew that she hated being interrupted. Reid knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in…" Her voice rang out from the other side of the door.

Just from those words Reid could tell that she was just covering up her real emotions…again. She always stayed composed instead of showing her real feelings and he didn't know why, probably because she was too proud. He pushed the door open and walked inside. "Good morning." He smiled and set down the things he'd brought on her desk.

"Is it?" JJ muttered, but her expression instantly brightened at the sight of the coffee. As she took the first sip relaxation coursed through her.

"Tough night?" He inquired as he sipped his own cup of coffee.

"Yea…Will…he's just…sometimes he aggravates me, you know?" JJ rolled her eyes and she let out a frustrated sigh.

William LaMontagne was definitely not a subject Reid wanted to talk about. Ever since that case in New Orléans, somehow, JJ had fallen for his southern 'charm'. Reid, however, didn't approve of the man. From what he could tell, Will had a temper and had trouble compromising. He was just plain selfish and JJ deserved better. Why she was still with him, he wasn't sure. Sometimes Reid thought that JJ only stayed with Will so she didn't have to say she was single anymore. With this team always in your business about dating, having a boyfriend was a great way to shut everyone up. The New Orléans Detective just wasn't right for her…at all. They had different views about almost everything and ever since they'd started dating Reid noticed that JJ had gone to less and less of their team dinners and outings. He was keeping her away from them, maybe not consciously or on purpose, but either way it was happening and Reid didn't like it.

"Oh." Reid started, trying to sound understanding and unbiased even though he had a dislike for her boyfriend in the pit of his stomach. "What'd he do?" He asked, innocently even though he was actually extremely curious about what could piss JJ off this much in a small amount of time.

"He just…" She almost started to tell, but just like every other time, she stopped herself before opening up to him. "Never mind…it was nothing big. He got on my nerves too early in the morning, that's all." She muttered.

"Yea I know that feeling." Reid rolled his eyes. "Well…I just came to check on you. Tell me if you need anything else or if you want another donut, either way…" He smiled at her before walking out. He was happy with how smooth he had talked to her. This had probably been the first time that he didn't stutter or make a fool of himself while being in her presence. Just as that thought crossed his mind he tripped over a box on the ground. He fell straight into a nearby filing cabinet, knocking over the box full of case files that was sitting on top of it. "Oh no…" he gulped. "I'm sorry JJ…" He turned around only to see that she was laughing.

"Spence you have to be the biggest klutz that I've ever met." JJ got up out of her desk and walked up to the spilled box. She picked up its contents and set it back on top of the filing cabinet. Their eyes met when she finished and she gave him a smile before she patted his cheek lightly with her hand. "Get out of here before you break something important." She teased lightly.

"Yes ma'am." Reid walked out quickly. She had patted his cheek. How could that not be seen as flirting? Someone might say that she was just joking with him in more of a sisterly way, but when their eyes met he could have sworn he saw something there. Something more than a friendly look, something…different. Before he could even walk over to the coffee machine for another cup he saw JJ walk out of her office and up to the railing of the catwalk.

"We have a case." She announced to the team with a monotone. "We're briefing in 10 minutes." Leaving everyone with that, she walked down the catwalk and into Hotch's office to talk to him. There was something off about her again. She didn't seem like her normal, cheerful self right now. Maybe this case was a children related case; those always seemed to hit JJ the hardest.

Reid joined Emily and Morgan as they made their way up to the conference room. As the three of them sat down, Hotch joined them along with Rossi. Garcia came next wearing a bright pink dress that made everyone in the room do a double take when she walked in. The last to enter the room was JJ with the case files piled up in her arms.

"So where are we going this time?" Rossi asked her as she handed out the case files to each one of the team members.

"Phoenix, Arizona." JJ answered. "Four bodies have been found, one man and three women."

"Well this unsub obviously doesn't have one gender type. This could mean that these murders were by chance and unplanned." Morgan suggested.

"Unless there is another connection between them. Believe it or not, not every serial killer uses gender as a way to pick his victims." Reid pointed out.

"Well actually each victim did have a parent that was in the military. The first victim, Andrea Rawlin was a Political Science major at the University of Phoenix. She was a sophomore there and her father was stationed overseas in Afghanistan. He recently returned after he found out his daughter had been murdered. The second victim was Jennifer Roberts. She had recently graduated from college with an international business major. Her father is a marine in the US navy and is still with his unit. Paul Pacino was the third victim. He was an unemployed man who had never gone to college. He was working as an announcer at a nearby baseball facility. His father actually died overseas a couple of months ago from a gunshot wound. And then there's Hailey Fitz, our last victim. She was a waitress who was starting her first year in college at 23. Her mother was stationed at an air force base as a nurse, but she returned earlier this year." JJ explained to them, clicking a button on the remote in her hand to show the pictures of the victims. None of them had any major physical characteristics in common either.

"So that's the only connection between the victims?" Emily sighed and processed the thought. "That is going to make this challenging."

"Well there might be more underlying connections that we'll uncover once Garcia does some digging." Hotch nodded to their technical analyst and she nodded back in response. "And they were all found dumped with American Flags?" He asked, looking down at his file.

"Yes, not just with them either. He wrapped them around the victim's stomachs. Underneath it carved into their stomach was 'In God We Trust?' with a question mark on the end." JJ looked at the profilers for their analysis.

"The question mark obviously shows that the unsub doubts our country and lacks patriotism. This could be a political stunt to show his displeasure with the American society today. I wouldn't be surprised if it was." Reid shrugged, "A recent poll showed that 81% of all Americans are not happy with our government."

Hotch nodded at Reid's comment before looking up at the team. "Alright, wheels up in 20." He glanced around the table before standing and retreating to office for his "go" bag. The rest of the team followed, leaving the conference room, except for JJ and Reid.

He had decided to stay behind since he had noticed her 'off' behavior from before. "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" The young genius asked, searching her expression as she answered. It had always been hard for him to read her because she was a master at hiding her emotions.

"Oh yea, I'm fine." She insisted. "I'm just a little tired, not really up for taking on a whole new case that seems pretty far out there." She shrugged and took a short pause, "Don't you just get tired of this sometimes?"

"I think we all do. We see one too many bodies or families being ripped apart by a death and it just gets to us. Don't worry, JJ, it happens to everyone. You, out of all of us, will probably handle it the best. It'll pass though and you'll be back to normal in no time, okay?" Reid assured her, hoping that he helped.

"Yea…" JJ gave him a half-hearted smile. "I'll see you on the plane." She started to walk out of the room, but just as she reached the doorway she turned around to face him again. "And Spence?" She asked, her blue eyes meeting his hazel ones.

"Yea?"

"Thanks." She turned around and walked into her office, leaving Reid alone with his own thoughts once again. _I love you…_ He thought, wishing that he could somehow get those words to come out in real life. She was still with Will, but someday soon he would tell her and that would all change…wouldn't it?

_"The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness..." - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace_


	2. Intensity

As the time to leave for Arizona neared everyone was starting to notice that the sky was overcast with dark grey clouds and the leaves of the trees outside were being yanked around with a strong wind. This flight that they were about to take was definitely not going to be smooth like most of the other ones. A cold burst of wind blew into JJ's face causing her hair to fly back behind her as she walked towards the plane. She clutched her bad tightly at her side and walked up the steps of their private jet. Only to find out that she was the first one to board so she set her bag down and sat in one of the seats, pulling out her phone. She had two messages and one missed call, all from Will. He was being really annoying and needy this morning.

_Hey JJ. I just want to say I'm sorry for this morning…I'm going home on my flight tomorrow so I was hoping we could talk before then. I love you. Call me _

_Hey Jen. I just called. What are you doing?_

JJ rolled her eyes. It seemed like sometimes he didn't get that when she went off to go and do her job she was actually going to be doing work. Did he really expect her to be waiting by the phone for his every call?

_I'm at work. Too busy to talk. Call you later._

She glanced around and saw that she was still alone on the plane. The text she'd sent had been a lie just to avoid him because, to her, all of their conversations were the same. He would say he was sorry, but then add later that he had a point to starting their previous argument in the first place. She would give in and say he was right and then they'd both just pretend like everything was back to normal or at least _she_ was pretending. She thought back to the fight they'd had that very morning.

_"Will!" JJ whispered to him, half-giggling. They had both still been in bed from the previous crazy night, but it didn't take much time for her realize that she had to leave for work. "WILL!" This time she spoke loudly in his ear. _

_Will rolled over to look at her with squinted eyes. "What…?" He yawned and sat up, stretching his arms out above his head._

_"Where did you put my shoes?" JJ asked him urgently. She had to get to work so that she could pick out a case for her team to take. If she didn't get there soon people would start to ask questions and that was the last thing she wanted. _

_A smile grazed his lips in memory of the night they'd had. "I threw them over there." He let out a comfortable chuckle. "Why? Where are you going?" He was wide awake now at the prospect of her leaving him. He also seemed to have noticed that she was fully dressed in her work clothes already._

_JJ rushed over to where her shoes were laying and slipped them on. "We really shouldn't have done this on a weekday." She rolled her eyes. "You forced me into it, Mr. LaMontagne." She smiled, flirtatiously at him. _

_"But seriously where are you going? You can't leave! I only have one more day here before I go back to New Orléans." Will whined as he pulled himself out of the covers. "You can't call in sick or somethin'?" He suggested._

_"No Will, I can't. I have to go in…This isn't some small police job, this is the FBI. They'll find out." JJ lied, honestly she really just wanted to go into work instead of staying home. She was the kind of girl who liked to keep herself busy. _

_"Small police job?" He had a hurt expression on his face._

_That was when she remembered that he was detective. "You know I didn't mean it like that Will. I just have to go right now!" She walked out of the room only to hear him roll out of the bed and trample after her. He grabbed her by the shoulder with a tight grasp._

_"JJ! This job is taking you over! How do you expect to ever start a family if you can't even keep a boyfriend?" Will's face was red with anger. It was obvious to her that he was still angry about her earlier comment. He was way too sensitive. _

_JJ ripped her shoulder out of his firm grasp. "Ouch." She pushed him away. "You aren't the boss of me and if you don't remember; not everyone needs a boyfriend to be happy." She looked him up and down, feeling her own cheeks start to heat up with anger. _

_"Of course they do! If you didn't have me you wouldn't have anyone! How can you even think about living that way? It's pathetic." Will spat at her._

_Anger took over JJ. She lifted her hand up and slapped him hard across the face. "You're a self-absorbed jerk." She stormed away and was glad when she didn't hear footsteps coming after her. She yanked the front door open, got in her car and then drove down BAU._

"Hey JJ."

JJ jumped a little when she heard a voice behind her. She whipped around to see Morgan standing in the doorway of the plane. Luckily, he didn't see her jump because he was too busy putting his bag down. She smiled and composed herself, quickly before he turned around again. "Hey Morgan."

"So I see Reid cheered you up." Morgan smirked.

JJ was aware of Reid's crush on her. It was blatantly obvious, but she wasn't sure how she felt about him. It was different from what she felt when she was with Will. Was it love? Or was it friendship? She didn't know and that was why she hadn't addressed any of it yet. Her decision was to just leave it alone while the rest of her life was being sorted out. "Yes…he did."

Morgan sat down across from her and gave her a wink. "Bet you liked that." He muttered quietly. It was almost too quiet for her to hear and she took the opportunity to pretend like she hadn't heard it all so that the situation wouldn't become awkward.

As JJ opened her mouth to start a conversation, Emily boarded the plane next and of course she sat next to Morgan. JJ had always secretly wondered if there was something going on between the two of them, but was too afraid to ask them. They undeniably had chemistry between them that was hard for anyone to ignore. "Hey Em." She smiled, cheerfully.

"Morning Jayje." Emily set her coffee down and leaned back. She pulled out a magazine and started to read it without thinking.

"You aren't going to save that for the ride? I mean we do have to go all the way across the country." Morgan pointed out matter-of-factly. He smirked at the brunette woman that was sitting next to him.

Without even replying to him, Emily leaned over and reached into her bag a second time. Both Morgan and JJ watched her pull out a whole stack of magazines and set them on the table in front of them. "I think I'm set, thanks." She gave a satisfied look. The women had evidently won this round.

Rossi, Hotch and Reid all entered the plane at the same time. Hotch and Rossi sat on the two seater table across the aisle. Reid sat down next to JJ and gave her an encouraging smile in reference to the conversation they'd had earlier. She smiled back, glad for his company. He was the only one on the team who really understood her and accepted her unconditionally. It was refreshing.

Once the plane was above the clouds and in a safe altitude, Hotch spoke, "Okay. Everyone look over the case file and we'll discuss in a few minutes." He ordered and all the rest of the team members pulled out their copies of the case files.

Their discussion had been uneventful. No one noticed any new information and it just seemed like they were starting with nothing to base a profile on. This case in particular was making JJ uncomfortable, not only was their unit part of the American government force, but her own father had been stationed overseas when she was little and it had been one of the hardest things her family had gone through. _One _of the hardest things…there had been plenty of others. Just seeing these families and being reminded of the military experience reminded her of her own life and made her feel gloomy.

"Alright...well we have an hour left before we land." Hotch stated as they finished talking. He stood, glanced at each of them and nodded before standing up to get himself more coffee. Before he sat back down, the plane hit a bump causing Hotch to spill a bit of his coffee on the carpet. He sighed and shook his head, pouring his cup back into the sink. He clearly knew that with this kind of turbulence there would be no point in even bringing it back to his seat.

"I guess it's not a good day for flying is it?" JJ looked out the window only to see the grayness of the clouds that they were flying through. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rossi tense in his seat and clutch the arm rest.

"Actually...we're probably going to be beginning our descent soon so it's almost over. From the looks of it a lot of nimbus clouds have accumulated in the troposphere." He shrugged seeming unthreatened. "It happens sometimes, there's no real danger about clouds." Reid comforted, sending a glance towards Rossi.

Emily coughed. "Know it all." She muttered between fake coughs, causing Morgan and JJ to smile.

"I prefer the term Genius or Mastermind." Reid shot back, chuckling lightly. He was used to getting teased so that made him very quick on his feet.

The rest of the plane ride was a blur of talking, teasing and turbulence. Needless to say, every member of the team was happy when the plane finally landed on the ground. JJ started to get up out of her seat when she realized that Reid was asleep. He looked so peaceful and she didn't want to wake him up so she looked over at Morgan and gave him a smile. "Can you…?" she pointed at Reid.

"You're on your own." Morgan chuckled.

"Please…" JJ gave him puppy dog eyes and she saw him almost give in, but this time he managed to stop himself.

"No." Morgan rolled his eyes and turned around, walking off the plane with the rest of the team.

"Spence…" JJ touched his shoulder lightly knowing that it probably wouldn't wake him up, but she had to start somewhere. The second time she shook him a little harder, but he still didn't wake. "Spence!" She was talking at normal volume now. He stirred a little bit so she shook his shoulder again. "Wake up…"

His eyes shot open, but quickly turned into a squint because of the light. "JJ…?" He yawned. "What happened? Where are we?"

"Phoenix." JJ rolled her eyes. "Get up." She gave him a small smile.

"Yes ma'am." He muttered as he stood up and grabbed his bag. He started to walk towards the door, but before they reached it he turned around. "Where did-" His foot became tangled in the loose strap of his bag and he fell to the ground. JJ, who had been walking directly behind him, also fell. Reid let out a cough as she landed on top of him.

"Oh Spence. I'm so sorry." JJ met his eyes, but didn't move. She waited for his response while reading his expression, it was blank. The weird thing about this was that there was really no awkward tension between them. She was practically lying on top of him, but it didn't feel weird at all.

"It's okay." There was intensity in his voice that sent a chill down JJ's spine. He didn't sound like himself…he sounded passionate and something about it made JJ want to drop everything and press her lips to his. She wondered, more than anything, what it felt like to kiss him...if she would see fireworks or if it would all be a big mistake. Vainly, she managed to keep her emotions in check.

"Oh good." She stood up slowly and brushed herself off. Next to her, Reid also got to his feet and handed her the bag that she had dropped during the fall. "Oh-uhh…thanks." She met his eyes again only to see that same intensity he'd had in his voice a few seconds earlier. It took a few moments to realize that she couldn't hold his stare so she ducked her head and walked past him. "Come on, we'd better catch up with them."

Reid followed her silently as they stepped off of the plane. She smiled back at him over her shoulder and was relieved when he gave her one of his normal, nervous smiles in return. Everything was back to normal, back to the way that she liked it.

JJ climbed into the driver's seat of the SUV and started the car while she waited for Reid to finish clipping his seatbelt. "Ready?" She smiled over at him again.

"I am if you are." Reid returned.

"Do you always have to answer my questions with something that makes me think?" JJ teased him lightly as she looked over her shoulder and pulled out of the parking spot. A few minutes of the drive went by before JJ spoke again. "I hate military cases…" She muttered, mostly to herself.

"Why?" She felt Reid's eyes on her, but she kept her eyes on the road.

"I-ummm…" JJ really wanted to talk about all of this to someone, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to open herself up just yet. "My dad was a marine." She spoke slowly and clearly to honor his memory and the marine corps itself.

"Was?" Reid asked her, curiously.

"He died of pancreatic cancer a few years after I went off to college. We knew he had it before I left, but he insisted that I go anyway." JJ tried not to sound guilty. She had always felt bad about leaving him while he was slowly dying of that disease.

"Oh I'm sorry." Reid looked at her apologetically and she hated this feeling that she was having; the feeling of helplessness and of being pathetic.

"Don't be." JJ answered firmly to end the conversation. She wanted to make it clear to him that she didn't want to talk about this anymore. Luckily, he got the hint and stayed silent for the rest of the car ride. As she parked, a sigh escaped her lips.

"Hey, Jayje…if you ever want to talk about this, just know I'm for you. Okay?" Reid offered, giving her a comforting smile. Was it that obvious that this case was hitting her hard?

"Okay, yea…maybe later. Thanks again, Spence." JJ reached over and touched his hand lightly while looking into his eyes. After that, they both exited the car and walked into the doors of the Phoenix police station. She immediately picked Hotch, Rossi, Emily and Morgan out of the crowd of officers in the common area. Sitting in a chair was a man fully clothed in a uniform that JJ recognized to be a marine uniform. Flashes of bad memories popped into her mind, but she pushed them away just as quickly as they had come. With Reid, she approached the table.

"Reid, JJ. What took you so long?" Hotch demanded, but didn't wait to hear their answers. He quickly turned to the officer around them. "This is Dr. Reid and Agent Jareau." A few officers gave them a nod and one of them in the back even waved, it was like they were famous or something.

Hotch turned back to them. "JJ, I want you to handle the interview with Mr. Roberts. He just returned from where he was stationed. I want you to connect with him and try to get more information about Jennifer. Maybe we'll be able to figure out why the unsub took her." He explained to her.

JJ nodded, shooting a glance back at Reid. He returned it with a half-smile and a reassuring stare. He gave her a nod before turning around and following Hotch. They were going to visit the latest dump site while she was going to stay here and interview the man that reminded her too much of her father.

"Hello." JJ gave him a bright smile, but he held a stone cold gaze. She glanced down and read his badge before continuing. "I'm Agent Jareau and you must be Master Sergeant Roberts."

"Yes ma'am." He looked slightly surprised that she actually called him by his rank. Most people didn't address it correctly. "How did you-"

"My father was a marine." JJ smiled a bit, but didn't leave it in the air for long. "I'm sorry for your loss." She told him. "Jennifer seemed like a nice girl." It was weird talking about someone she shared a name with. She led the man into an empty room where an empty table stood inside. He sat down and she sat in the chair across from him.

"She was…I loved her more than anything." The marine continued, "After her mom died, it was just the two of us and I knew…I knew I had to be there for her." He let out a heavily emotional sigh. "I just wish I had been there for her a couple weeks ago."

"Master Sergeant-" JJ started.

"Gary, please." He nodded respectfully at her.

"Gary, you shouldn't feel guilty about this. Even if you were around the corner from her, this guy is organized, it still would've happened." JJ paused for a few seconds. "I know how demanding life as a marine can be, but you should be proud that you were serving our country and we thank you for it."

Gary nodded modestly.

JJ glanced down at the case file she had sitting in front of her. "Now Jennifer, did she have any enemies? Anyone that would want to hurt her in any way?"

"No, no. She had a lot of friends and it seemed like everyone really enjoyed her company, I know I did. Even if she did have any enemies…they were harmless." He shook his head. "I never noticed anything dangerous…but I was never home either…" To JJ, this sounded vaguely familiar.

"Did you have any enemies? Did you ever meet anyone who had a problem, not only with the military, but with you individually?" JJ asked, specifically. She was hoping that this might be a way to narrow down the search.

"I've met my fair share of people who despise what we're doing overseas and the military in general, but they were just protestors, not terrorists or anything." The man gave her a solemn gaze. "I'm sorry. I wish I could be more help."

"You're doing great. Now let's just talk about Jennifer. What was she like?" JJ decided to start with that. They did need a background on their victims if they were going to go through victimology.

"She was outgoing and extremely confident. Everywhere we went she would see people she knew and introduce me. She was smart too; on her way to becoming a fashion intern in some big corporation overseas. I was so proud of her." Gary looked down at the table with a disheartened expression on his face.

"Who did she hang out with?"

"Mostly people who went to her college. I never got to know any of them because I was traveling so much, but they all seemed like good kids." He nodded, sounding truthful.

"Do you remember any of their names?"

"No, but she did have a boyfriend. His name was James Capac…he seemed like a nice boy. He had a firm handshake and that's what I like to see in a man." Gary nodded, approvingly even though it didn't matter anymore.

JJ scribbled down the name. "That's a huge help. We'll be getting in touch with him soon for an interview." She informed him. "Where was Jennifer living?"

"In a small house just outside the campus so she could walk to and from school. I checked out the neighborhood before she moved in and it was pretty safe, not too many crimes."

"Did she have any late night classes that would force her to walk home in the dark?"

"I-I'm not sure."

"That's fine. I'll get our technical analyst to look it up." She made a small note on the sheet in front of her to call Garcia. "Uh…did you two ever fight with one another? Maybe before you left to go overseas?" JJ knew they had to talk about it and from experience she was sure that they had argued. There was no way that a daughter would let her father leave for the military without a fight.

"We fought a little bit when I first found out when I was leaving, but as the date got closer and closer so did we. I guess she wanted me to know that she loved me. It was sweet." Gary looked caught up in the memories.

JJ smiled at the thought. At least they had made up before he left. She wished her family had been that lucky. After a long, awkward silence she decided that it was time that they ended the interview. "Alright Gary…I think we're done for now, but we'll call you if we need to talk to you or if we find something. Again, I'm sorry for your loss." She gave him a small smile and a nod before walking out of the room. She guessed that he would probably leave when he was ready.

* * *

**So JJ likes him too! Surprise, surprise. ;)**


	3. Rollercoaster

Reid and Hotch were the last two people in the Phoenix police department at the end of the night. One by one the rest of the team had left to go and get some rest, but those two had stayed. Reid had delved so much into the work that he barely noticed his team mates leaving and Hotch felt obligated to stay because he was the unit chief and needed make some sort of discovery in this seemingly hopeless case. In time, Reid glanced up at one of the clocks and a wave of exhaustion pounded into him. It was almost midnight. He looked over at Hotch, giving him a nod before picking up his bag and walking out to one of the FBI cars parked in the lot. The genius started it and took the short drive down to the hotel that they were staying at. As he walked through the doors into the quiet lobby he let his thoughts wander and of course they ended on JJ. He was worried about her. Before she'd left that night he had noticed that she wasn't herself. There was still something off and he didn't think it had anything to do with being in a rut; it was more personal and emotional. If it wasn't midnight he would have walked to her room, but by now he figured she was already asleep. Yawning, he walked down the long stretch of hallway past the various rooms that he knew his colleagues were sleeping in. All of them were silent…until…

"Will…it's getting late and I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I know you're sorry, but I'm just not in a good mood, okay?" He could hear JJ's voice coming from her room. She had to be sitting or standing somewhere near the door for it to be the audible from the outside. He froze in his tracks and listened, uneasily…he hated being nosy.

"Yes…" She sounded reluctant. "I'm just not sure if I have time for a relationship right now and you…" She stopped the sentence abruptly; he must have cut her off.

"I'm not breaking up with you. I get it, you're angry and you're venting right now, but I would appreciate it if you would stop blaming all our relationship problems on me. You are the one who keeps bringing up the problems and you're the one who keeps leaving these fights unresolved. You wait until all your anger builds up and then you just blow it up on me. I'm not going to take it anymore…" JJ stopped for a few moments. "I do love you, but the other night when you suggested…having kids…I just wasn't sure if that was a good idea."

Having kids? Was Will forcing JJ into something that she didn't want to do? She couldn't have kids yet, they were too young and he hadn't even gotten a chance to voice his feelings to her. If they had a child together there would be no way to get rid of Will after that either. It was a mistake…but at least she felt the same way.

"No, no. Not because we aren't compatible, but just because we have all of these problems and I don't think having a baby out of nowhere is going to solve them. If you want to have kids you have to learn how to make compromises." She paused again to listen to him speak. "I do compromise. I do everything for you Will! Hell, I even wasted some of my vacation on going down to New Orléans for you!"

_Oh JJ… _Reid thought, closing his eyes. The moment she said the time she'd spent with Will had been wasted, he knew she was in trouble. That was the worst possible choice of words that she could have used.

"Why are you yelling?" Her voice was quieter, weaker. "Stop…" There was another pause. "Stop Will, okay? I get it!" He kept going with the yelling. "I'm hanging up…call me back when you get your head out of your ass."

Reid waited and listened after that to see if he ever called back. If he did, Reid would have yanked that door open and handled the call himself. The next thing he heard wasn't a call though; it was the sound he never thought he'd hear come from that woman. She was crying.

Never, in all four of the years that Reid had known JJ, had he seen her cry. It was completely unheard of. She was too strong and put together to cry over the small things that everyone else did, but now as he heard the heart-breaking sounds of her sobbing he felt empty. Had Will really hurt her that bad enough to make her cry? Reid shut his eyes and wanted to walk away, but he knew deep down that he couldn't just leave her there crying in her room so he moved towards her door. The sobbing could be heard a lot more clearly as he approached, making him even more concerned for the woman on the other side of the door. He lifted his fist up and knocked lightly. On the other side there was the sound of a quick sniff before he heard her voice.

"Who is it?" Her voice cracked slightly. She definitely needed his help.

"Spencer." He answered, gently. He hoped that she would trust him enough to let him inside.

"What do you need, Spence? Now's not really a good time."

"I need to talk to you…it's really important." He lied, wanting her to open the door.

He heard a sigh on the other side of the door. A few minutes of silence went by and Reid pondered leaving because he wasn't sure that she was going to open the door for him. Right as he decided that he should leave he heard the locks undoing. The door in front of him opened slowly with a light creak, revealing a distraught JJ.

"What is it?" She sounded a little bit agitated by his persistence, but he could also see that her eyes were red and puffy from crying. It was a heart-breaking sight.

"I'm worried about you…I walked by and I heard you…" He tried to be gentle when he admitted it to her because he knew she would be embarrassed.

"Oh." JJ closed her eyes. She knew that she'd been caught.

"Can I…come in?" Reid asked reluctantly. She was in a vulnerable state she was going to need to get her emotions out, either by yelling, crying or talking about it. With each option Reid knew that it would be an uncomfortable situation that shouldn't be handled alone.

JJ eyed him for a few moments as if she was thinking about her alternatives. "Okay…" she replied, quietly and stepped out of the way so that he could go into her room. Once he was fully emerged inside she shut the door behind him.

"So…" Reid started, "I heard you talking on the phone with Will…" He didn't want to make it seem like he was eavesdropping, but there was no other way to phrase it.

"You did?" JJ didn't seem angry or surprised…or anything. He was having an extremely hard time gauging her emotions.

"Yea. Are you two…okay?" Reid asked lightly. He expected her to get mad or just deny the problems all together so her real answer completely caught him off guard.

"No. We're not." JJ shook her head and sat down on the edge of her bed while Reid sat in a chair across from her. "He…I thought he was a good guy, but now…I can see that he has a terrible temper." She rubbed her shoulder.

"What did he do?" Reid noticed her uncomfortably rubbing her shoulder and it troubled him. He made a mental note to check later for a bruise.

"It's what he _does_. Every single time something doesn't go the way he wants it to he blames it on me and when I try to stick up for myself he just starts yelling." JJ shook her head. "I can't handle it anymore." Sadness overtook her and it almost looked like she was going to start crying again, but instead she just adjusted her posture and kept rubbing her shoulder subconsciously.

Reid couldn't leave it unaddressed anymore. "What's wrong with your shoulder?" He watched her reaction closely. Right as he mentioned it her hand stopped rubbing and dropped to her lap. He waited to see if she was going to lie for Will.

"Will grabbed it in an argument before we left and it's still kind of sore. It's not bad…but whenever I think about him…I think about it." JJ replied honestly. She slid sleeve of her shirt down to show a bruise on her shoulder. It wasn't severe, but it wasn't something to be ignored either.

"Why are you still with him, JJ?"

"I don't know…" JJ shook her head. "I-I…don't want to talk about this anymore." There was obviously something else bothering her.

Reid paused and made eye contact with her. "What is it? I can tell there's something else." He stopped for another few seconds. "You can talk to me…" He tried to persuade her because he knew, more than others, that keeping feelings inside can sometimes forget who you are altogether.

For once he saw an emotion shine in JJ's eyes; grief. "I told you my dad was a marine, right?" She asked him as she adjusted her seating position on the bed. She barely made eye contact with him which was a weird thing for her because she was usually so sociable, but at least she was finally opening up.

"Yea…" Reid didn't really know where she was going with this. He knew that her father didn't die overseas because she'd said he died of pancreatic cancer so what could be bothering her so much about it?

"When he left it was hard on all of us…especially my oldest sister and I because we were more of daddy's girls than my other siblings." JJ shook her head. "He called and promised that he was coming home, but…it was a whole year before he came back for Christmas and then…he just left again." Her blue eyes were clouded in memories. "That summer after that Christmas we got a call that he'd been shot, but was still alive. A couple of months later he finally came home. It was great…we all loved that he was back, but after a while he started…acting different."

Reid listened carefully. He knew where this story was going.

"He couldn't sleep and he was always so jumpy. If I walked up behind him he'd jump out of his seat and knock me over without even thinking. God forbid you woke him up from sleeping…it was terrifying. We tried to ignore it at first until he accidently…hit my sister in the stomach when she woke him up. A psychiatrist came to our house. After an evaluation she said that he was suffering from-"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. It happens to a lot of people who come back from the military especially if they were injured." Reid filled it in for her.

JJ nodded at him without making eye contact. "It was a hard couple of months…Everyone in my family was so scared of him because he started to drink when he was depressed and that tied to PTSD made his temper horrifying. I remember one night when I was…9 I accidentally broke one of his old high school football plaques. I dropped it and it cracked right down the middle. I remember being completely mortified at the thought of him catching me so I ran straight to my room and slept in the closet that night. The next day I could hear him when he found it. I could tell he was fuming and I listened as he stomped into my room and looked for me. I held my breath, but eventually the door was yanked open. He was so angry that his face was a light shade of red and one of the veins in his neck looked like it was engorged. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down the stairs with him where he sat me down in the living room and yelled at me for two hours…straight. While he did it he was holding part of the plaque and I was so scared that he was heated enough to…hit me with it. Even though I was crying and I asked him to stop, he just kept yelling. Luckily my older sister got home from her study session at school and yelled back at him. She made him stop." She stared at the ground and a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"Did he ever hit you?"

"No…because he knew if he did that my mom would kick him out, but there were other times when he got really close." JJ shook her head at the memory. "I hated him so much…he ripped apart our family." There was harshness in her voice that he'd never heard before.

"What did you do?"

"My sister ultimately couldn't take it anymore so she…committed suicide and that finally snapped him out of it. He was never the same as he was before he left, but after she died he stopped drinking and things were almost normal again." She let out a sigh. "I just hate being reminded of it…of him."

Reid stood up and sat down on the bed next to her. With his heart pounding loudly in his chest he reached over and took her hand in his. He made eye contact with her, now puffy, tear-filled blue eyes. "I'm sorry."

She sniffed and gave him a small, half-hearted smile. "It's okay."

Reid felt her rubbing her thumb across the back of his hand. They were still gazing into each other's eyes and he suddenly felt the urge to kiss her, but in the moment she was vulnerable and he didn't want to take advantage of that.

They sat in silence for five or ten minutes just enjoying each other's company until JJ spoke, "You are the only person I've ever known who can cheer me up that fast." She smiled widely. It seemed like the sadness in her eyes had passed. "You are the only person who I feel completely comfortable with no matter what…" She added and he saw her eyes glance down at his lips. She wasn't that vulnerable now and this was the only time that he felt confident so if he didn't go in now he never would.

Reid gazed intimately into her eyes for any sign of doubt before he continued. He lifted his other hand up to touch her cheek and still saw no hesitation in her eyes. _Go for it, Reid. Go now._ He leaned towards her and turned his head slightly to the right. He looked down at her lips and got only close enough so that his lips barely grazed hers. A chill flew down his spine, but before he could lean all the way in she was already closing the distance. Their lips pressed together and Reid shut his eyes. He felt butterflies coursing in his stomach as he moved his hand back to run blindly through her hair. This was the best feeling he'd ever had in his life; to finally be kissing the woman he'd loved for so long. After a few seconds they pulled away briefly and then immediately went back in. The second kiss was more forceful and intense. Reid was surprised at how well this seemed to be going, now they were pretty much making out with each other. JJ leaned back and Reid suspended himself above her while still keeping their lips locked together. He felt her start to unbutton his shirt. The feeling of her cool fingers sliding on his bare chest was amazing. He'd never felt anything like it. Just as he was about to start doing the same for her there was a knock at the door. They both separated from the kiss hastily and listened.

"JJ? I just got your text and Garcia's worried about you…I don't know if you're awake, but we need to talk." Emily's voice was heard from the other side of the door.

JJ closed her eyes in frustration. "I'm awake. Just give me a second." She looked at Reid and pointed quickly to the closet. "I'll get rid of her." She whispered seductively in his ear. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard in his life. He got off of her and tiptoed into the nearby closet. In the darkness he waited to hear their conversation. He heard the sound of the door being pulled open.

"Hey Jayje. How are you? I know you wanted to talk and so does Garcia so I was thinking we could put her on speaker…" Emily's voice sounded friendly.

"It's kind of late Em. I texted you a couple of hours ago and I'm kind of tired now. Can we do this tomorrow?" JJ asked her and he was impressed with her ability to come up with fake answers that quickly.

"Oh…uh sure." Emily was evidently caught off guard. "I guess I'll see you in the morning then. Good night JJ." He assumed that they exchanged smiles before she left.

When Reid heard the sound of the door shutting he stepped out of the closet. "I'm impressed." He chuckled. "Makes me wonder how much you lie to me." He raised an eyebrow, questioningly at her.

"I could never lie to you." JJ walked over to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pressing her body against his. "So…" She looked him from head to toe and bit her lip. "Where were we?" She leaned in for another kiss and he accepted it for a few seconds before pulling away.

"Look JJ…as much as I want to do this right now…and trust me I do. I just don't think we should because like you said we need sleep. Doing this just isn't as important because we have to get up for a case tomorrow." Reid shrugged, glancing at the clock. It was 1:30 AM.

"Not important?" JJ stared at him.

"No, no. That's not what I meant. When I said not important I meant it like-"

"I know what you meant." Anger flashed through her eyes. "Is this as real for you as it is for me because I haven't even broken up with Will yet so if this isn't going to be serious then…" She waited expectantly for him to answer.

Reid stood in front of her, dumb-founded. He wasn't sure what he wanted permanently at all, but right now he was definitely contemplating the effects of getting involved with another teammate. Would that cause one of them to get fired for fraternizing?

"I think you should leave." JJ turned away from him and sat back down on her bed.

"No JJ…wait."

"Now, Reid. We need sleep like you said, but if you really want this then the next time we talk about it…I need an answer." JJ told him, looking up.

"I don't know if I can give you that…" Reid glanced at the ground, avoiding eye contact with her.

JJ shook her head. "I've been hurt too many times to not take precautions so you're either in or out." She was clearly serious about all of this and he understood why, considering how Will had turned out.

Reid still hesitated though as he weighed his options and she noticed.

"You don't have to decide now. Just go…get some sleep and when you figure it out let me know…okay?" Her anger had faded now, but it still seemed like she hadn't fully forgiven him yet.

Reid nodded, obediently before walking out of her room and into the empty hallway. As he walked towards where his room was he reflected on his choices. He'd wanted this for so long, but never had he planned how he'd react. He should've because now he'd made a huge mistake and he wasn't sure that she would forgive him as easily as he hoped. Letting out a yawn he heard footsteps coming around the corner. His stomach dropped when he recognized Hotch walking towards him. Reid realized his shirt was still unbuttoned.

"Uh…Reid?" Hotch looked confused as he noticed Reid's state.

Reid feigned surprise and glanced down at his exposed chest. "It was hot in my room, but I guess I just forgot to re-button it." He didn't have to fake the embarrassment that he was actually feeling in this situation.

Hotch gave him a quick nod and it seemed like he was almost about to smile, but it never actually came. "Well…um…good night Reid." He carried on down towards his room.

"Good night, sir." Reid shook his head. This night had been a rollercoaster, not only had he gained and lost the best girl in the world, but now he also felt sufficiently awkward. Great. Reid shook his head to himself. He would fix all of this tomorrow. He just had to talk to her about his doubts…in daylight…in person…during work. _That'll definitely be easy. _He thought sarcastically, but he would fix this…no matter what it took.


	4. True Feelings

**Thanks for reading! :) I've been working hard on this story so I hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

The next morning hit her hard as she remembered the events of the previous night. It all rushed back to her at once; the argument with Will, the crying, talking about everything, kissing Reid...yelling at Reid. She touched her forehead and let out a sigh. More than anything, she wished she could take back what she said and kiss him one more time. Spencer Reid may look nerdy, but he was quite the kisser. Just remembering it made JJ's face feel hot. She got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to get ready. For now, she was just going to focus on the case and maybe that would help her get through most of the day. As more memories came back from that night she couldn't help being reminded of Reid's hesitation. Did he even want to be with her? Was she forcing him into something that he didn't want? Everything just felt so right with him that she couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong anymore. Fraternizing with colleagues in the BAU was definitely frowned upon, but was it against the rules? She would have check it because as of now, that was her only doubt concerning the situation. JJ buttoned the last button on her shirt, picked up her phone and left her room…and the memories behind. She was just a media liaison now. The elevator dinged as the doors opened slowly and she stepped inside, pressing the floor 1 button. Just before the doors shut a hand slid in and stopped them. As they reopened JJ was face to face with her biggest weakness; Reid.

He looked just as flustered as she felt. "Can I…join you?" He asked, clumsily.

JJ nodded politely and tried not to meet his eyes because she knew if she did…she would melt. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him step into the elevator and stand beside her. She suddenly became very interested in the ceiling design. It was an intricate pattern of flowers and leaves.

"Listen JJ…" Reid started as the doors shut. He had cornered her. "I'm sorry about last night. I want more than anything in the world to be with you, but I'm just not sure that it's a good idea because of the BAU." He shook his head. "I've wanted this for so long, but…"

"I know. I've been thinking about the same thing." JJ looked up at him and her hopefully, collected blue eyes met his concerned hazel ones. "I guess we can just go back to normal." She shrugged. _If that's possible._

"Yea…" Reid glanced at the ground. Even though the only sound between them after that was the humming of the elevator they were both thinking about the same thing and JJ could tell.

"Or…" JJ pressed the stop button, making the elevator freeze on its course. She walked straight up to him and planted a kiss on his lips. It was forceful and uncalled for and…hot. He accepted and returned it with the same force, pressing her up against the back wall of the elevator. She ran her fingers through his short hair while running her other hand down his chest. After what seemed like a too short of a kiss they both pulled away.

"This stays between us." Reid told her with a deep, passionate voice that she recognized from the incident on the plane.

"Yes sir." JJ smiled and gave him one more kiss; a gentler, more adoring kiss. Even after they pulled away and continued on their journey down to the lobby, the kiss lingered leaving that feeling of love and affection on JJ's lips. Her stomach was fluttering and her face still felt hot, she prayed that no one would notice.

The pair exited the elevator not aware of how flustered they both looked. They walked up to the rest of the team who were already gathered near the exit. Reid walked to the left of the group and JJ separated from him, going to the right.

Morgan smiled at JJ, sipping his coffee. "Good morning."

"Morning." JJ muttered to him. Her thoughts kept going to Reid and the kiss so she tried to stay focused on the situation at hand.

"Aww JJ…you're blushing." Morgan chuckled, looking down at her. "I didn't know you liked me _that_ much." He added, arrogantly.

JJ rolled her eyes and lifted her hand up to feel her cheek. It was still warm. "Oh shut up Derek. It's just warm in here." She brushed her hair over her shoulder to let the air flow over her neck and cool her down.

"Or it's just me." Morgan carried onto say, laughing.

JJ laughed along, not letting on to how uncomfortable she actually felt. Soon enough, everyone started to walk out of the lobby and into the cool crisp air of the morning. A few minutes out there quickly cooled her down enough to carry on with her work. Once the group arrived at the station she wasn't surprised to find out how easy it was to lose herself in the work. When they first got there they were getting ready to give out the profile, but before any of them could actually gather the police officers Hotch rushed in.

"Another body has been found." Hotch informed them.

"But we weren't informed of an abduction." Reid stated, matter-of-factly. She loved that about him; the way that he could make everyone in the room stop for a moment and rethink everything that they had just said. He commanded attention without even wanting it. It made JJ crazy.

"No one reported her missing because she was living alone, unemployed, and fresh out of college." Hotch shook his head. "JJ and Reid I want you two to go down to the dump site. We need to confirm that she has the signature mark of the unsub."

JJ nodded and then glanced over at Reid, but he wasn't looking at her. He looked content in the case and completely serious for once so JJ decided that she needed to think that way too if they were going to get through this.

"We have to postpone the profile because the new dump site could change something." Hotch told the rest of the team. "So I want everyone else to take an interview room and we'll call the families of the other victims."

JJ walked out the front doors with Reid at her side. There was an awkward tension between them that she could tell they were both trying to ignore. _Trying... _As they approached the car JJ looked over at Reid, making eye contact with him for the first time since the elevator ride. "Do you want to drive?" She asked, holding up the keys to the car.

"No…you go ahead." Reid answered, walking to the passenger's side.

Letting a sigh out, JJ climbed into the driver's seat and started the car, glad that it broke the uncomfortable silence between them. She pulled out of the parking spot and started driving down the road. Most of the ride was silent, but neither of them seemed to mind. Both of them really needed that quiet time to short through their thoughts. When they finally reached their destination JJ didn't want to get out of the car. She pulled the key out and then rested her hand on the gear lever. The thought of seeing another body right now made her feel sick to her stomach.

Reid turned his head towards her and then put his hand over top of hers. "I'm here." That was all he said, but it offered all the comfort in the world to her. Just knowing that he was there for her no matter what motivated her to finally get out of the car.

"Let's get this over with." JJ pulled her hand out from under his, opened her door and stepped out of the car. There were still many officers around the crime scene collecting evidence, but no one had touched the body yet because they had been told to wait for them to get there and examine it. Together, the two young agents approached the clearly visible body that had been dumped like trash in a ditch. It was a blonde girl, laying sprawled on the ground with an American flag wrapped around her stomach. That concept definitely got JJ thinking and, as the profiler that he was, Reid became aware of her pondering.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

At first JJ only shook her head. What was even becoming of America? "Every day we get hundreds of cases coming across out desks asking for help because people are killing their own fellow Americans. What does that say about our country?" She muttered.

Reid shrugged and nodded. "There are a lot of killers…" He started, "but there are more people like us. Good people, even untrained civilians sometimes, who are willing to help. What does _that_ say about our country?" He countered, leaving JJ dumb-founded and speechless. He always had a way of shutting people up like that. "I mean...that's why we got into this field, right? To help people?"

JJ smiled a little bit at that idea. "Right." Once again he had successfully cheered her up. As they put their gloves on, Reid started to examine the body.

"He obviously didn't care how he dumped her; it is likely he did all the preparing before driving here so that all he had to do was take her out of the car." Reid stopped and looked around for a moment. "This is a busy highway and he put her right near the edge. It's almost like he wanted her to be found."

"He probably did. We know that he hates the American government so this could be like his way of making a public statement." JJ added to his thought as they stood over the girl's still, lifeless body.

"Yea…but why? Why does he hate the American government?"

"He could have been dishonorably discharged from the military or be a protestor for peace…?" JJ suggested vaguely.

Reid bit his lip and shook his head. "Let's just see if we can figure anything out by looking at the body." He crouched down next to the girl. "Her clothes are on so I think it is safe to assume that he didn't sexually violate her in any way."

JJ reached over and lifted the flag up. Underneath they found, perfectly carved into the girl's flesh, the same message that had been discovered on all of the previous victims. It still looked a little messy though because the forensic team hadn't rinsed the dried blood away.

Reid took a bottle of water from a nearby table and poured it along her stomach so that some of the blood would wash away. "Wait…" He poured a little more over the first half of the phrase. It was supposed to say 'In God We Trust?', but instead of an 'I' in the 'IN' it was an 'E' that changed the phrase to: 'En God We Trust?'

"Do you think he just made a mistake?" JJ asked.

"I think he made a mistake, but I don't think he realizes it…because it's normal to him." Reid shook his head and poured even more water on the beginning of the message. "I knew it." He muttered as the message changed again. Now that he had cleared even more dried blood it read: '¿En God We Trust?'

JJ looked down at it and came up with the same conclusion that Reid had.

"Our unsub isn't American." Reid told JJ and she nodded hastily. "We have to get back to the station and tell the rest of the team."

* * *

The police officers gathered around the FBI team from the Behavioral Analysis Unit with pens and pads ready to take down the information that they were about to be told.

The unit chief of the team started it off. "Before we begin I would like to remind all of you that this is only a preliminary profile so there is still room for it to change as we get more evidence regarding the case." He nodded and then let a young scrawny-looking boy step forward.

"We believe we are looking for a Hispanic male of average weight and height who is not originally from America. He is extremely organized and willing to take forensic precautions to avoid being caught. He is most likely not very fluent in the English language, but does well enough with the language to fit into society." He started.

"He either has a job that allows him to continuously travel around the Phoenix area or he has no job at all." A blonde woman continued for the scrawny boy. "He is probably not a citizen and only staying here on a visa. We also think that he may have come into contact with American law enforcement, most likely border patrol of the American-Mexican border, making him accumulate a hatred for the government altogether."

"He will be fit and almost certainly armed so if you come into contact with him…do not startle him because he already hates the law and will not be afraid to shoot a man in uniform...or a civilian." A tan, muscular man joined the conversation.

"This unsub is working solo and probably has a private residence where he handles his victims…maybe a warehouse or his own home, depending on where that is located." The oldest man in the group spoke now. It seemed like they all had something to contribute.

"We are confident that this man has crossed the border from Mexico, but there is no way to be completely sure. We also think it's safe to assume that he left his family behind in that country because he wouldn't be able to support a family while going through all of this." The other female spoke. "He also has no victim type, but it does seem like he centers around the college age because they're the most vulnerable. He targets them by their family's connection to military."

"Again," The unit chief began, "this is only _groundwork. _There are still a lot of things that could change, but for now…this is what you should be looking for."

The police officers dispersed, all going in different directions around the department.

* * *

"Now," Hotch turned back to the team, "we're going to set up a press conference. JJ, I want you state most of the profile. Make sure to stress that he is dangerous and should not be confronted." He advised her.

JJ nodded in understanding. "Alright. I'll go get ready." The first thing she had to do was get herself camera ready. She walked into the bathroom with a small bag that she always had ready for press conference. In the mirror she re-applied most of her make-up and fixed her hair. As she was finishing up she heard someone walk in, but didn't turn around to see who it was. A few seconds later Reid appeared in the mirror beside her. "Spence?" She smiled. "You can't be in here."

"I just wanted to wish you luck." Reid looked at her and gave her a nervous smile. "You look…stunning as always." He told her, thoughtfully. He was so cute.

"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself." JJ gave him a playful wink before applying some more lipstick to her lips.

"JJ?" Reid asked, looking at the ground. Something was bothering him and she could tell. "I…I…" He couldn't get it out. She wondered what was stopping him.

"Spit it out." JJ smiled and laughed a little bit to lighten the mood, but he didn't laugh...or smile. This was obviously going to be something serious…something about them. She hoped that it wouldn't be bad news.

"I…" Reid tried again, this time getting through it. "I…can't stop thinking about you." He let it out quickly, like ripping off a bandage. "Everywhere I go…every time I try to forget…it just keeps coming back. I want-…I really want to move on, but JJ I don't think I can." He stopped to compose himself. "I want you."

"Spence…" JJ started, but he cut her off.

"No…JJ, just hear me out. Please." Reid told her and she nodded, giving him time to speak. "Last night and today…I felt something. I've always felt something with you and I know you have too. We can't just ignore it anymore. I _can't_ just let you go and spend the rest of my life wondering...what I could have done or what kind of life we could have lived." Reid seemed to be struggling with his words. "I've planned out this moment so many times, but I just can't…remember what I wanted to say."

JJ smiled, vibrantly. "You're doing fine." She took one of his hands in hers.

Reid stepped towards her so that his face was mere inches away from hers. "Jennifer Jareau…I-"

"JJ! Are you in there? The press conference is about to start and Hotch has few more things that he wants you to say." Emily called to them.

"Damn it, Emily." Reid muttered, closing his eyes.

JJ smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to go, Spence, but I hope we can pick this up later." She whispered, optimistically.

"Yea, yea of course." Reid sounded disappointed, but at least he had agreed. She really wanted to hear what he was going to say next.

JJ picked up her make-up stuff and then walked out of the bathroom to meet Emily. "Hey sorry, I was just fixing my make-up. You know the drill." She smiled a little bit and started walking to where Hotch was waiting for her. He told her a few more details about the conference, but she barely listened. Her thoughts were still with Reid. What was he going to say? Was this the start of something good or was it just another mistake she could add to her list?

"Got it?" Hotch asked when he finished.

"Yep." JJ nodded, her mind frantically squirming to remember what she had planned to say. As Hotch stepped up to the podium and gave the introduction speech all the nerves seemed to slip away. She felt at home. "Hello." She addressed the many cameras pointed in her direction. "My name is Jennifer Jareau and I am here with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. We have been investigating the series of murders that have started in the Phoenix area and were recently able to come up with a profile of the unknown subject. He is a Hispanic man here on a visa who most likely does not speak fluent English. He will either be unemployed or have a traveling, undemanding job. This man hates the American Government and all law enforcement." She started, "We believe that he is dangerous and almost certainly armed so if you recognize anyone like this; do not approach or confront them. Immediately call a tip line to inform the police and we will handle it from there." JJ finished her beginning speech. "This is not something that should separate or scare any of you. If anything, it should be a reminder for us to stand together. Patriotism and the strength of America is something that we can all hold onto. It is something that we can count on and it is the one thing that brings us all together; as a family. So…protect your family and trust us to help you through this." She ended, looking around.

Hotch and Rossi stepped onto the stage. "We will be taking questions now." Hotch announced to the eager press that were eagerly snapping pictures of the stage.

A few reporters asked pointless questions, but Hotch and Rossi disposed of them easily and the press conference came to a quick end.

JJ stepped off the stage only to be met by Master Sergeant Gary Roberts. He stood in front of her with teary eyes. "Mr. Robert-uhh…Gary?" She corrected herself. "What's wrong? Did you remember something?" She asked him urgently.

"I just came to watch the press conference and…" He took a moment to sniff and arrange his thoughts. "What you said…it was beautiful." The sergeant told her, but before she could answer he asked something else. "Did you say your last name was Jareau?"

"Ummm...yes." JJ wasn't sure where he was going with this.

"As in First Sergeant Harry Jareau?"

"Yes. That was my father." JJ tried to hold eye contact with the man, but at the mention of her father she had to look away so that Gary wouldn't see the pain in her eyes.

"I knew him..." Gary said, "I traveled to the east coast with my platoon to gather supplies for a mission we were going to be going on overseas. He was there and I when I first met him...I was immediatley intimidated." The man smiled.

"Yea he had that effect on people." JJ smirked and rolled her eyes. "Imagine being his daughter."

Gary laughed lightly. "He could command the attention of a whole room of marines with just a few intense words. It was crazy, but I have to say he did have a way with words...that I see you must have adopted. While we were there two men got into a fight about rank, but he separated it and gave everyone a speech about loyalty and trust. It hit hard for every man there, including me. Sometimes when I'm with my platoon and we're in danger I still remember what he said." He paused, eyes clouded in memories. "Trust and loyalty are the cornerstone of society. As marines we are a band of men who are protecting the lives of the wives, husbands and children that we left behind. So when you're in danger or doubting the men in your own platoon, just remember the lives of the people you're trying to protect and the lives of the people who protected you. Semper Fi."

Tears came to JJ's eyes. "H-he said that?"

"Yes and I still remember it to this day. He was a great man." Gary nodded down at her.

"Was." JJ wasn't sure if she was talking about his death or the fact that in the years after he returned he was a terrible father to all of his children. She wiped away a tear that was sliding down her cheek and sniffed quietly.

"I'm sorry..." Gary sighed, "but at least you know that he was a good man and everything he did...he was doing for you." He looked into her eyes. "That speech that you just told...reminded me a lot him. You were right about everything and I just want you to know that your father would have been proud to have a daughter like you…"

More tears wanted to escape from JJ's eyes, but she didn't let them fall. "Thank you Gary. It means a lot to hear you say that." She nodded respectfully at the man. "Your daughter would have been proud to have a father like you."

They exchanged a long look of gratitude and appreciation before they both walked off in different directions.

"JJ…" Morgan was walking up to her, but she really wasn't in the mood for his arrogance right now.

"What?" She muttered, wiping another tear off of her cheek. She hoped that he hadn't seen or that he would at least pretend that he hadn't.

"Where did that last part come from?" Morgan stood in front of her, meeting her eyes. "It was great…" He gave her a small smile. "I don't know about anyone else, but…" It was obviously hard for him to compliment her, "It really hit home for me."

JJ cracked a smile. "Thanks Morgan. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me that wasn't completely inappropriate." She teased, lightheartedly.

"I think that's the nicest thing _you've_ ever said to me!" Morgan exclaimed and then raised an eyebrow, questioningly at the blonde agent standing in front of him. "Are we having a moment here? I think we are." He grinned.

JJ rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder. "Come on." She walked back into the police department where everyone was waiting for them.

"I don't know about you guys, but I am _starving_!" Emily exclaimed. "Can we go out to eat or something? It's not like we have any pressing issues right now." They all looked around the empty police station. It was about dinner time and the only thing JJ had eaten all day was a bagel she'd gotten from a café so she was hoping that everyone would agree to eat.

"I guess." Hotch nodded, "And after that we can all just go home because now we're only waiting for some information from Garcia." He looked at the team, expectantly. "So where are we going out to eat?" He let a small smile creep onto his face.

"I knew it was possible." Morgan mumbled, next to JJ, referring to Hotch's smile. It was rare, even on a good day, to see the man even start to smile.

"Rossi and I passed this Italian place on the way up here. We should go there." Emily smiled, obviously satisfied with her suggestion.

"Because we all know how Rossi loves his Italian food." JJ smiled nudging Rossi playfully with her elbow. The rest of the group laughed, including Rossi.

"And women." Morgan added, making the team erupt into even more laughter.

"Alright…I guess we'll all just follow Prentiss and Rossi there." Hotch told everyone, smiling. They all split up, two by two in each car. Emily and Rossi were in one, with Hotch and Morgan in the next and then JJ and Reid in the last one.

JJ and Reid got into the car and she started it hurriedly to make sure that they didn't lose the rest of the group. She cast a smile in Reid's direction and then pulled out of the parking spot to join the line of FBI SUVs leaving the lot.

"I mean to tell you that you did a great job in the press conference." Reid shrugged as if it were an everyday thing. "No surprise there." He let out a soft chuckle.

"Thanks, Spence. It's nice to hear that come from you." JJ told him and then went on to bite her lip. There was definitely an elephant in the room that neither of them were ready to address. Reid had started something in the bathroom, but was he going to finish it?

Most of the ride was spent in silence again until JJ decided that it was time. "So Spence…what were you saying…in the bathroom?" She was pretty sure she knew what he had been going to say, but she still wanted to hear it come from him.

"Oh…in the bathroom?" Reid asked, "Before the press conference?" He was beating around the bush. This was clearly hard for him.

"Yea…" JJ replied, trying to guide him along. "You were talking about us, but then Emily came in and interrupted us…again."

Reid looked down at his hands which he was rubbing together, anxiously. "I was a lot more confident than…" he muttered, biting his lip. They were now pulling into the restaurant parking lot.

JJ parked the car quickly and then looked over at Reid. "Let me help you out." She smiled and traced her fingers along the back of his hand. "You said that you couldn't stop thinking about me and that you wanted to move on, but you didn't think it was possible." She noticed the corners of his mouth start to curl upwards. "And then…you said you didn't want to ignore our feelings anymore. After that you started thinking too much…like you are now and you forgot what you had planned to say." JJ paused in remembrance. "And just before Emily came you started to say something…" She leaned towards him. "That sounded a lot like the beginning of…" She trailed off.

"I love you." Reid filled the last part in for her just before their lips pressed together for the third time in two days. It was another gentle kiss that, in more than words, showed their true feelings for each other.

JJ tilted her head to the side, her mind racing. She closed her eyes and took in the moment; the feeling of his arms around her and his lips pressed against hers. She would never forget this kiss; she would never forget him.

**Love**. That was what this was. It was truly the first time that JJ had ever really felt it for another person and for some reason…she was sure that it would be the last.


	5. The Unsub

When JJ pulled away from him Reid instantly felt empty, like he was in a world of darkness searching for a light. JJ _was_ his light, saving him from the dark of the world around him. She was…everything to him and she always had been even when it wasn't the other way around. When he didn't feel her lean in again he opened his eyes to see what was wrong. "JJ?" He asked curiously.

She was smiling, showing off her dazzling teeth. "We'd better get inside before someone notices we're gone." Before he could protest she was already out of the car and walking down the sidewalk. He'd always liked forceful women.

"Wait up!" Reid called as he clumsily climbed out of the car. The kiss they'd shared left him feeling weak at the knees. He jogged after her until he caught up to her as she pushed the door open. They walked through together where in a matter of seconds they joined the rest of their team at the table.

"Wow…look who _finally_ decided to show up! What took you two so long?" Emily asked the question that Reid knew they were all thinking. He felt all of the team's eyes on them.

"I bet they were too busy making out in the car to get here on time." Morgan chuckled at his joke, waiting for their response.

JJ rolled her eyes, coolly and Reid tried to act that calm, but on the inside his heart was racing. She nodded. "Yea…" She fanned herself. "You'd be surprised how little time it takes for the windows of those SUVs to steam up." Unexpectedly JJ leaned over planted a light kiss on Reid's cheek as if it were as normal as ever…and to the rest of the team, it was. They all laughed at her comment, especially Morgan.

JJ sat down next to Emily while Reid sat on her other side and next to Morgan. From where he was he heard Emily ask JJ what really happened to make them as late as they were.

"I spilled my purse and my stuff was _all over_ the car, but Reid helped me pick all of it up." JJ rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "I really need a new purse." She was brilliant with lies. It was yet another incredible thing about her.

Morgan leaned over to Reid and whispered, "I saw that kiss." He winked and the young agent's heart started pumping hard in his chest again. Which kiss? The one in the car? Oh no…was he going to tell? "Only cheek, but if you keep going down the road you're going…you'll get more. Trust me."

_Oh thank god. _Reid thought to himself. They hadn't been busted yet. "Yea because _you've _had so many steady girlfriends." He teased the cocky agent.

"Fine if you don't want my help then I'll stop offering it." Morgan tried to play the sympathy card like he had so many times before, but this time Reid wasn't going to take it.

"That's all I'm asking for." He shrugged and looked down at the menu. He'd probably just order the spaghetti with meat sauce; it looked the most appealing to him right now. As they all ordered Reid noticed how each of their meals reflected their personalities.

Rossi ordered the fettuccini alfredo, over-pronouncing each Italian word to emphasize his origin. He also asked for a few special spices and seasonings on his meal that no one else at the table had ever heard of. It was easy to tell that he was a cook as well.

Hotch ordered the ravioli and Reid found this concept slightly amusing. Ravioli was an Italian dish made up of small squares stuffed full of meat and cheese. In all honesty, their unit chief was a boring square, but did had his own demons and secrets tucked away…like the Ravioli. How ironic.

Morgan, instead of ordering, asked what their specials were. When the waiter listed them, the tan agent asked which dish was the best in their opinion. When the waiter told him, he ordered that dish. This showed that Morgan did, in fact, have a known thirst of adventure and spontaneity, but was still influenced by others.

When Emily's turn came, she ordered the Caesar Salad which she had ordered at many restaurants in the past and that told Reid that she did not like change. She liked to be surrounded by things that she knew, instead of spontaneity that Morgan had.

JJ, in Reid's amusement, ordered the largest entrée out of all of them. She had asked for the large Chicken Parmesan meal. When the waiter saw her small petite body, he informed her of how large the plate was, but she didn't even flinch, only nodded in agreement. This woman was fearless and never stopped pushing the boundaries.

As Reid ordered his spaghetti he wondered if any of his teammates were examining his order. As he glanced around the table he noticed that they were all engaged in other side conversations.

_I really need to get a life_.He thought, realizing that he had actually just profiled his friend's ordering habits at a restaurant. _Wow. _

Underneath the table, Reid was resting his hand on the arm rest of his chair. Without any notice, JJ slid her hand over top of his and squeezed tightly. He didn't look down at it because he knew that would draw attention, but he did send a glance over at her which she met with a cute smirk. She was the girl of his dreams…that he'd never thought he'd be holding hands with. Reid felt like the luckiest man alive until…

_Ring, ring, ring._

All eyes turned towards JJ, the liaison for the team. Whenever her phone rang it was almost always case related. They all knew where this was going. She glanced around the table and gave the team a shrug as if to say sorry and then slid her hand away from Reid's to answer the ringing phone. "Hey." She smiled at the voice on the other end.

Everyone relaxed a little at her greeting. When she said 'hey' they all knew that it wasn't anyone high in the chain of command, but that didn't defeat the chance that they may be going back into work on the case.

"You did?" JJ asked, looking a little bit surprised. "Are you sure?" She listened to the other line for a few seconds, nodding. "Oh that has to be our guy. Why haven't the police officers gone down there yet?" She rolled her eyes. "Alright I guess we'll go down there. Thanks Penelope."

Everyone, even Hotch, looked disappointed as she hung up. Their fears had been confirmed. They were going in for work, but why?

"Garcia found our unsub. He has an isolated farm house a few miles away from Phoenix, but the police couldn't go out there because it was out of their jurisdiction so we have to go. It's definitely him though. He is here on visa from Mexico and was originally trying to sneak across the border, but they caught him and sent him back. The second time he actually got a visa. He has a job as carpet cleaner for a traveling agency that gives free cleaning jobs to military families." JJ explained to all of them.

"That's how he finds his victims." Emily spoke her thoughts out loud.

"I guess we do have to go then. We don't have much of a choice…he could have another victim with him right now for all we know." Hotch stood up from the table and everyone else quickly followed, getting to their feet.

The waiter walked up to them. "Leaving so soon?"

"Yes. We're sorry, but we're being called away to go help on a case." Hotch explained to the waiter, pulling out his wallet to pay for the drinks that they had ordered.

"Police officers?"

"FBI."

The waiter paused for a few seconds and then stopped Hotch from giving him the money. "It's on us. Good luck with your case, agents." He nodded respectfully and then started to clean up the drinks from their table.

All of the agents rushed out after Hotch, but JJ took a moment to stop in front of the waiter. "Thank you." She touched the young boy's shoulder gratefully and then followed her colleagues out. Reid had been the only one who has seen and it only made him feel even more strongly for her. The team gathered near one of the SUVs to plan.

"Alright." Hotch was trying to get back into work mode. "When we get there I want everyone to put on their bulletproof vests and we'll search the premises in teams; Rossi and I, Morgan and Prentiss, JJ and Reid. When we get there we'll decide who's going where. Remember he could be dangerous, so everyone be careful. See you there." He nodded to each member and then got into his car with Rossi. Morgan and Prentiss got into their car and Reid and JJ followed suit, climbing into their car. The drive was long so it gave JJ and Reid a lot of time to talk.

"JJ…?" Reid asked as they drove along.

"Yea?"

"Do you remember the first time we actually talked?" Reid asked her, smiling a little bit. He had always been curious about how _she_ had thought of that awkward conversation.

"On the plane?" JJ didn't wait for him to answer. "You were so adorable with your stuttering…I'll admit that I thought you were cute and I may have started to flirt with you…but then I decided that it was a bad idea considering I had just met you." She laughed lightly.

"I knew it! I knew you were flirting with me, but I just told myself that it was all in my head." Reid smirked to himself. "I hated it though…because I felt so nervous." He glanced out the window before continuing, "I always get nervous around you…" He confessed self-consciously.

"I know you do." JJ giggled a little bit. "It's so cute! I love it."

"You do?"

"Yea, that shy, 'sensitive guy' thing is such a turn on for me." JJ took her eyes off the road for a fraction of a second to turn her head towards him and give him a flirtatious wink.

"But Will isn't like that." Reid intervened while smiling from the wink that he had gotten from her.

"He was…" Her eyes were on the road now, more serious. "I really did like him, but ever since we officially started dating he's been so needy and overly sensitive about everything. I don't like that at all. Just a word of advice for the future." She smirked.

"I'll keep that in mind." Reid smiled, but actually did make a mental note to himself to never be needy or too sensitive. "To be honest…I never liked Will though. I could tell he had a temper and you two really didn't seem well-matched." He shook his head. "And whenever I talked to him…he just rubbed me the wrong way, like he was jealous or something."

"I think he was." She told him, "Whenever I said anything about you he would cut me off and ask me if I had a crush on you, but I said no…which was a lie."

Reid laughed and then after a while he remembered when he'd heard JJ and Will arguing about having children. "Do you want kids?" He asked.

They were at a red light so JJ's head whipped towards him. "You heard that too?" She asked and then shook her head slowly.

"Yea."

"A couple weeks ago Will told me that he wanted to start trying, but I said I'd think about it." JJ sighed, "I want kids, but not with him."

Reid felt his anxiety starting to set in again. His palms were getting sweaty and his heart was pumping hurriedly in his chest. Was she implying that she wanted to have kids with him? Or was she saying it…in general? Before he could ask they were pulling into the driveway of the farmhouse and she was climbing out. He pulled his bulletproof vest on and he saw her do the same. They met up with the rest of the team in the front yard.

Hotch looked around the residence for a few more seconds after they walked up. "Rossi and I will take the down stairs of the house, including the garage and Morgan, you and Prentiss take the upstairs. JJ and Reid I want you two to go and check the barn." He looked at each of them. "Got it?"

They all nodded in agreement and jogged off to where they were supposed to be checking. Reid knew JJ hated barns, along with dogs ever since they'd had that Henkel case a couple of months ago so he made sure to keep her close. He glanced back at her quickly only to see uncertainty shining in her big blue eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" He whispered, barely audible.

"Yea, yea. This just doesn't seem right." JJ bit her lip and gazed up at the barn in front of them. "I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach…like there's something wrong here." She whispered back to him.

Reid looked back over at the barn, examining it closely. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary so he turned back to her. "Everything's fine. The only thing we're probably going to find in there are some hens and maybe a horse or two…I don't know." He was glad to see her smile. "Ready?"

"Yea." She lifted her gun up with a small flash light crossed underneath it. He was going to open the door while she went in first. As he pulled on it, he was surprised at how heavy it seemed to be. Eventually it was open enough for her to squeeze in and flash her light around the room. He went in after her, adrenaline pumping. A few seconds later down towards the end of the barn he heard JJ's voice again. "Clear."

"Clear." He answered with a sigh. "See?" He smiled at her as they met up again. The only light they had right now that was letting them see was the small flashlight that JJ was walking around with. He started to walk over to her when he heard a loud noise come from behind him.

JJ heard it too and jogged over, shining her flashlight towards where the noise had come from.

Reid was standing in front of her with his gun held out, looking as she held the light out for him to see. His index finger was resting just in front of his gun's trigger as he ventured towards another door that he hadn't noticed when they first came in. Before he could push the heavy door open, a force on the other side yanked it backwards and revealed a dark figure standing in front of him. For a split second they were both suspended in darkness until JJ shined the light on the man. He was tall, fit and of Hispanic origin…just like the profile had said. Still holding his gun, Reid studied him and quickly saw the gun he had in his hand just before the man raised it towards him.

"Drop your weapon!" Reid ordered, but only saw anger flash in his dark brown eyes.

"Get out of here!" The man's voice was thick with a Spanish accent. It only made Reid even surer that this was the guy they had been looking for.

"We're only here to help you." JJ spoke softly with a caring tone in her voice. "If you just put the gun down we can talk about this..." With this different approach the unsub was only angered more by her ploy.

"You aren't the boss of me!" He pointed the gun at JJ now. "You people here in America…you think you know what it's like to have a hard life. You don't! Look at you; blonde…I bet you were rich and grew up with a nice life. Not everyone is that lucky!" This man was full-fledged yelling at her now, but she didn't even flinch.

Before she could respond they all heard the sound of their nearby colleagues leaving the house. "Reid! JJ!" Reid heard Morgan call so he glanced out one of the windows and saw his figure walking towards the barn. In those couple seconds that he was distracted he didn't see the unsub aim his gun. By the time Reid turned back the only thing he saw was the unsub pulling the trigger…in the direction of JJ. He would have thought that he had missed until the light from the flashlight flashed across the room before falling with a clunk to the ground…the flashlight that JJ had been holding.


	6. Don't You Forget About Me

Reid could feel his hands shaking and he wanted to check JJ, but he also knew that he couldn't take his eyes off of the unsub's figure in front of him. "J-JJ?" He called, his voice trembling. There was no response. "JJ! Please say you're okay!" He yelled more forcefully with his eyes glued to the stiff unsub. Just like the time before, JJ didn't respond.

"A dead FBI agent…now maybe the country will listen to what I have to say." The man said, confidently. "Two dead and no one would ever forget it." He raised his gun slowly at him. Even in the darkness Reid could see the whites of this man's eyes glowing.

Before either of them could pull the trigger on the other, the doors behind them were pulled open and the rest of the team barged in. Morgan quickly tackled the unsub to the ground and Hotch started to clear the rest of the barn while Emily and Rossi jogged up to Reid.

"Are you okay? We heard a gunshot…where's JJ?" Emily asked so quickly that Reid barely caught what she was saying.

He felt like he was hyperventilating. "I-I'm fine. H-he shot JJ." Right as Reid stated that and whipped around to look for her he saw the silhouette of Hotch's body on the ground next to where JJ was lying. In the dark, none of them could really see her condition except for Hotch who was bent over beside her. "Hotch…?" He asked desperate for an update.

"There's blood, Reid." Hotch lifted his hands off of the ground and wiped the blood onto his pants. "I-it's coming from her head." His voice shook a little bit. Hotch, the rock hard unit chief of the BAU's voice was shaking. This was bad.

"He shot her in the head?!" Reid exclaimed his heart dropping. A tear slipped down his cheek as he realized the severity of the situation. How could he have lost the woman he loved so quickly? They'd only been together for two days and now…she might be dead?

"No. She must have hit her head on the ground, but there's a lot of blood. We need to get her out of here and figure out where she was shot." Hotch slid his arms underneath her small body, lifted her off of the ground and carried her out towards the house. There were officers from the next county all over the scene getting evidence. They had been called to come because this was part of their jurisdiction. They all looked up as the FBI agents emerged from the barn with one of their own being carried out unconscious. It became almost completely silent except for the sound of Emily calling the paramedics behind them. Hotch carried JJ to the porch and laid her down on a bench. It was much easier to examine her under the porch light. "Okay…it looks like he shot her right on the vest so it probably didn't penetrate her skin, but I think she may have a concussion." He reported, "Where are the paramedics, Emily?"

"They're coming. It'll be a few minutes."

"Should we try and wake her up?" Reid asked, staring at JJ. She looked so pale…too pale. He wanted to wake her up just to have the security of knowing that she was alive. Right now, he wasn't exactly convinced.

"No…that might just cause her distress. We should wait until the paramedics get here." Hotch stated and everyone gave Reid a weird "you should have known that" look, but right now he didn't care about knowing anything. All _he_ wanted to know was that JJ was going to be okay. He saw that the bright blonde hair on the back of her head was now sticky and dyed red from all of her blood; it was no comfort to him.

A few minutes passed before they all heard the faint sound of the ambulances coming closer. Reid felt like he was going to pass out. "I thought the response time here was a lot quicker…" He muttered to himself while looking at the ground. Most of the other team members seemed to have convinced themselves that JJ's condition wasn't serious, but Reid, knowing all the complications, statistics and situations, couldn't relax. He looked down at her again only to see her start to move a little bit. "Guys! I think she's waking up!" He exclaimed.

JJ moved a little more and let out a soft moan, but she didn't open her eyes.

"JJ?" Reid asked softly while the rest of the team joined him, gathering around her.

She only coughed in response with her eyes still shut.

"JJ, it's okay. The paramedics are here you're gonna be fine." Reid assured her even though he wasn't sure that she was even listening. He took her hand in his and rubbed it gently. It bothered him that her hand was abnormally cold.

When the paramedic walked up to the group he immediately recognized the person he needed to take care of. He bent down next to Reid. "What happened?" He asked, needing to get a background story so that he could assess the injuries better.

"She was shot…on the vest and then fell backwards on her head." Reid made eye contact with the paramedic crouched down next to him. "Do you think she's going to be alright?" He clutched JJ's hand as if it was the only thing keeping him on the ground.

"I'll have to assess her first, but from the looks of it we just need to get her to the hospital and the doctors will tell you from there." He answered and looked over his shoulder to see a few other paramedics bringing a gurney up onto the porch. "It shouldn't be critical."

Reid didn't like that answer. To him it sounded like, 'It _shouldn't be _critical, but we may find something once we get to the hospital that could be life-threatening.' The paramedics started to pick her up and he let her hand go. She let out a loud groan after that so he joined her at her side. "What's wrong?" He asked hopeful that she would answer.

JJ's eyes still didn't open. "S-s…stay w…with m-me." The words were broken up and her voice was so soft that Reid barely heard it.

"I will. I'll never leave you, JJ." He replied taking her hand again as they rolled her off the porch and down towards the ambulance.

JJ's eyes flickered open. "Y-you'll n-n…never…le-lea-leave…?"

"Never. There's nothing in this world that could ever get me to leave your side." Reid gave her a smile and looked down into her glazed eyes.

"N…n…noth…nothing…?" There were more gaps between her words and he could see that she was struggling now to keep this conversation going. The paramedics lifted her into the ambulance and Reid climbed in too.

"Nothing. You mean everything to me JJ…so you can't give up yet, okay?" Reid encouraged her as he saw a dullness started to creep into her eyes. Staying awake this much was making her excessively tired, probably from the concussion she had sustained. He expected there would be more severe symptoms from it later on.

JJ nodded feebly. "I…I w-w…wo..won't…g…gi-give u-up…" Despite the pain he saw in her normally clear blue eyes, she smiled up at him and gave his hand a weak squeeze. "I-I…l…lo-lo….lov-"

"I love you too, JJ. I love you so much, more than anything I've ever loved before." Reid told her just before she lost consciousness again.

* * *

Morgan, Emily, Hotch and Rossi were all gathered anxiously in the waiting room in the hospital, using it for its purpose; waiting. It had been an hour or so since the ambulance had driven off with Reid and JJ inside, but they had still got no update about JJ...or Reid. It was like they had never arrived at all. Just as Hotch was about to go complain to one of the nurses he saw Reid turn the corner and walk up to them.

"Reid!" Morgan stood up with the rest of the team quick to do the same. "How is she? Do you know?" He asked quickly.

Reid glanced at the ground. "She has a severe concussion, a fractured ulna and a couple broken ribs from the impact of the bullet to her vest." He paused. "As for the concussion, since she passed out a second time in the ambulance they think that it may have severe consequences like memory loss, speech problems and a _lot_ of nausea…some of which they said have a chance of becoming permanent." The mood in the room dropped. "It depends." He added.

"On what?"

"How she recovers in the first few days. They know for sure that she'll have these symptoms when she wakes up, but as for later…we'll have to wait and see."

"So memory loss…did they say short term or long term?" Hotch asked, concern glinting in his dark brown eyes.

"Short term." Reid answered quickly. "Most likely the memories surrounding what happened and the shooting itself." He let out a heavy sigh and plopped down into a chair. "There's no visiting until they wake her up which will be in the next hour or so."

The rest of the team took their seats around him.

Reid ran his fingers through his hair and thought of JJ. Every good thing about her went through his mind in a flash; the smell of her hair, how she could always make him smile, the way that she had a huge appetite, and how she was the sweet den mother of the team that every family of every case could turn to for support. JJ was an amazing colleague, friend and person...it made him think of something he read in a book.

**_"It was SHE. Whoever has loved knows all the radiant meaning contained in the three letters of this word 'she." - _**_Victor Hugo, Les Miserables._

That book was all about the journey from loving to losing and back again. He just hoped that his own life wouldn't turn out to be the sad ending of a book. JJ deserved to be okay after this, especially her considering the life she'd had. He loved her so much and he just wanted the chance to be with her. He knew that 'she' was more than just three letters. 'She' was the only thing that made him feel important in the world. 'She' was his and that was all that mattered.

"Did someone call Will?" Rossi asked, making every team member wake up from their own cloud of thoughts.

Reid looked over at Rossi. He hoped, bitterly, that no one had called Will. The last thing that JJ needed right now was to be stressed out and annoyed by that man. Reid was comforting her and that was enough for her to get through this.

"I did." Emily answered.

_Damn it, Emily. It's always you._ Reid thought to himself at the prospect of having Will in this whole situation. He was completely dreading it.

"But he said that he couldn't come right now because they had a case in New Orleans. He told me to tell JJ that he loved her and was thinking about her." Emily shared with the team in an effort to lighten the dark mood.

It caused Morgan to smile, but Reid wasn't feeling it. He still hated Will, no matter what sweet things he wanted to pass on to JJ. It was all garbage and he wasn't going buy into it while the rest of their team swooned. At least he was honest.

A few minutes later Emily stood up. "I'm going to get some food, does anyone want anything?" She asked, looking around.

"Surprise me." Morgan muttered, unenthusiastically. It was hard to be his normal cheery self when JJ was in this condition.

"I'll have a burger from anywhere." Rossi told her.

"Hotch? Reid?" Emily asked looking at them.

Hotch was staring at the ground. They were all close to JJ, but it seemed like Hotch was majorly protective over her like a father-figure. He looked up when Emily said his name, but only gave her a slight shake of the head in response.

"Alright. How about you Reid?"

"I don't want anything. Thanks." Reid mumbled, not even taking the time to look at her.

Emily gave a slight nod and then walked out of the hospital.

Morgan, who was sitting beside Reid, leaned over to him. "Hey man, are you okay?" He asked looking concerned.

He was silent for a few seconds before finally responding, "I was her partner. We were in pairs so that we could have each other's backs, but…" He trailed off and shook his head, shamefully. He hated feeling like this.

"This isn't your fault, Reid. We knew that the unsub was going to be dangerous and he could have shot you just as easily." Morgan assured the younger agent.

"But he didn't. He shot JJ and before we went in there…she said…she told me that something wasn't right and that she didn't want to go in there, but I convinced her to. I started the argument with the unsub and she tried to calm him down, but he shot her instead." Reid explained, miserably.

"Oh come on, Reid. You and I both know that JJ will never blame you for what happened." Morgan insisted.

"If she remembers it at all." Reid added with a sigh. This made Morgan shut up.

* * *

A full hour later, after Emily brought back the food, a doctor turned around the corner. Everyone in the room assumed that, just like all the other doctors that had come through, he was going to talk to someone else so when he stopped in front of them and said, "Jennifer Jareau?" Everyone got to their feet.

"Yes." Hotch answered first.

"We just woke her up." The doctor gave them a smile. "She's doing great, very responsive to the treatment we're giving her, but for now she _is_ experiencing some memory loss, confusion and nausea due to her concussion."

"Can we see her?" Reid asked optimistically.

"Yes, but she will still be in a confused state." The doctor informed them and then said, "Follow me." He led them down a series of hallways before stopping in front of one of the seemingly random doors. "Here it is. You can just let yourselves in." He smiled and left the team standing in front of the door.

"Should we all go in at once?" Emily asked staring at the door, looking intimidated. She really hadn't known JJ for that long, but she respected her and was on her way to becoming one of her friends. She was an easily likeable woman.

"Yea. I don't think she will mind." Morgan shrugged motioning for Hotch, who was closest, to open the door.

Hotch took a moment to himself before pushing the door open and walked inside, everyone else followed and gathered in a neat semicircle around her beat. "Hey JJ." He smiled and touched the side of her bed. She had a lot more color in her face then she had before and it was apparent that someone had cleaned her up considerably since the incident.

"Hey guys." JJ spoke softly and looked around at all of them. "Thanks for coming." She looked flattered to know that they had all come here for her.

"You didn't think we'd come?" Morgan smirked, "You should have seen Hotch's face when they ambulance took you away. It was like a deer in the headlights." He chuckled and the rest of the team laughed…even Hotch.

JJ smiled and laughed lightly. It was weird seeing her like this. Usually she was so alert and aware of everything, but now she looked completely out of it, like she was barely conscious of what was going on around her.

"So how much do you remember?" Hotch asked her in curiosity.

"About what?"

"About a few hours ago."

"Ummm…" JJ shook her head. "All I remember is waking up this morning, getting on the elevator…" She trailed off, glancing at Reid who smiled at her. "And then interviewing Mr…" She struggled to remember the man's name.

"Roberts?" Rossi asked.

"Yes. That's it." JJ smiled a little bit not noticing the worried stares that she was receiving from her teammates, especially Reid. She was totally oblivious.

"How are you feeling?" Reid spoke after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. He looked into her innocent, naïve-looking blue eyes. They seemed so empty and hollow, missing the emotion that usually filled them.

"It kind of hurts to breathe…and I feel like I need to throw up…_all the time._" JJ let out a sigh and glanced out the window. "But I'm okay…" She added so that they wouldn't worry. Reid saw right through it, she had a confused look on her face. "So we went to a house…somewhere and then what happened?"

"We went in the barn." Reid answered. "Something made a noise so we walked up to a door where the unsub jumped out. We tried to reason with him, but he ended up shooting you instead." He explained lightly.

"Did you catch him?"

"Who? The Unsub?" It was a rhetorical question. "Yea we did. A couple minutes after you lost consciousness, Morgan came in and tackled him to the ground." He shrugged, "What's new?" He chuckled.

JJ nodded. "So…" She blinked a few times as if trying to clear her vision. "What happens now?"

"Well," Hotch started, "The doctors might want to keep you here for a few days for observation and I agree so we'll close the case while you heal up. Hopefully you'll be able to return to work in a matter of weeks." He knew it wasn't that simple.

"I hope so too." JJ smiled at them.

"We can have people visit you thought while we try and get a confession out of the unsub. That could take a few hours…he doesn't seem to want to give in just yet." Rossi shook his head.

"Wait…you have the unsub in custody?" JJ asked, tilting her head in puzzlement. "You caught him already?"

Everyone in the room shared a look before Reid finally responded again, "Yes…we did." He answered trying to keep the worry off of his face, but JJ had noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"You already asked that JJ…" Hotch confessed uneasily.

"Asked what?" She looked absolutely out of it now with no idea what any of them were talking about. Complete bafflement was what it was.

There was an awkward pause in the room, in which everyone shifted anxiously. "If we had caught the unsub yet…" Morgan answered slowly like she had a hearing problem or something.

"Oh yea, sorry. I just can't…" JJ blinked a few times again like she was trying to wake herself up. "I can't remember anything…I feel like there's fog in my brain that's clouding around all the things that I _want_ to remember."

"Its okay, JJ." Emily answered. "We all understand this must be hard."

"Thanks Em." JJ smiled.

The group chatted after that about a lot of things, mostly to try and get JJ's mind off of the current situation, but it was hard considering that she kept bringing up the old concepts and repeating questions. They could see that the memory loss was setting in now, but as for being permanent…none of them knew. Reid just hoped that she remembered the feelings and moments that they had shared together because then, during those times JJ had loved him. His only wish was that her feelings were something that she wouldn't forget.

**_"She loved with so much passion as she loved with ignorance. She did not know whether it were good or evil, beneficent or dangerous, necessary or accidental, eternal or transitory, permitted or prohibited: she loved." _**_–Victor Hugo, Les Miserables_


	7. Soul Mates

The doctors told the team that it would be an entire week before JJ would be cleared to fly back to Quantico. Most of them wanted to stay, but Strauss said she needed them back to file case reports. They got to choose one person to stay with JJ until she was cleared to fly. Of course, with a lot of arguing and debating, Reid came out as the winner. Finally he would get some alone time with her again. It had been two days since she had been shot and she was progressing well. Compared to the first day, she was throwing up a lot less and it seemed like she was a lot more alert and aware of what was going or what people were talking about. Her memory, however, was still fuzzy. Reid just felt so helpless…like there was nothing he could do to help her. He looked through the small window on the door into JJ's room. She was sleeping at the moment, looking so peaceful. He looked away, feeling like he was violating her privacy and then sat on the chair just outside her room. He started to remember some of his favorite memories with her.

**_January 11th 2006_**

They were on a case in Ozona Texas where children were being beaten to death by a blunt force to the head and then dumped in the woods. Reid, JJ and Morgan were sitting in a house waiting for some news.

**"**So, why the woods, JJ?" Morgan asked, seemingly out of nowhere. He sipped his coffee cup while waiting for her response.

"Hmmm?" JJ looked up while sipping her own coffee. She looked like she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Your fear, you said it was of the woods." Morgan reminded her.

JJ looked down at her cup for a moment before going into the story. **"**I used to be a camp counselor when I was a teenager…in the woods up around Vermont. I had the night shift; tuck the girls in, turn off the lights, you know, the typical drill. Everything seemed fine. The kids were asleep, you know, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until...I noticed that there was some blood, on the hallway floor. So I followed the blood trail down the hall to the camp director's cabin, walked up to his bed, and...he was just lying there, under his covers, dead. Someone stabbed him."

_Oh my god. _Reid thought. _Poor JJ…_

"I ran out of there so fast, out the door, down the hall. I can just remember it being really dark."

Morgan made eye contact with Reid, a surprised look on his face. He had no idea that she had gone through this kind of trauma at that age.

Reid watched her as she continued. He sympathized with her because going through that kind of experience had to be hard to get past.

"Once I got to the door, there was another counselor; I guess she heard me scream. They caught the caretaker on his way in to town. I guess he still had the knife on him. Anyway, I guess that's probably when I decided I didn't like the woods." JJ looked down at her cup before looking back at Morgan.

**"**You're serious?" Morgan asked while glancing at Reid for confirmation.

Reid only shrugged and watched JJ.

She looked completely content, staring Morgan directly in the eyes. Reid knew that was a sign of true honesty because it was especially hard to lie to someone's face. From what he could tell, she was completely truthful. His stomach sunk. He half wished it wasn't because of how traumatic it must have been. As she sipped her coffee Reid looked at the ground only to hear a half-laughing "No!" come from the woman sitting beside him.

Morgan laughed and shook his head in disbelief.

Reid sat, shocked. How had she fooled two profilers.

She smiled,** "**I mean you fell for that?" They all laughed. "Come on! I don't know why I'm afraid of the woods! I am. Why is he still afraid of the dark?" She pointed at Reid while laughing.

**"**Yeah, Reid why are you still afraid of the dark?" Morgan joined the teasing and looked over at Reid.

Reid stared back at both of them and shrugged. "Because of the inherent absence of light!" He exclaimed as if it were as normal as ever. Beside him JJ laughed and he felt like he smiled back.

**_February 7th 2007_**

Reid stared down at the GPS as they headed towards the house of Tobias Henkel. He had made a call to the Police Department about seeing something suspicious. They were going to do a follow up and see what he had to say. Reid really had to use the bathroom, he knew he should have gone before they left considering how long the drive was. He glanced at JJ while bouncing his leg up and down.

JJ met his eyes and her eyebrows creased in confusion. "What's wrong Spence?" She asked glancing at him a second time.

"Nothing…how close do you think we are…?" Reid looked at the street name and then down at the GPS. He started calculated the rate at which they were traveling and how far away they were.

"I think we're close…why?" JJ asked.

"We're about 5 minutes away." Reid told her stiffly, ending the conversation. He looked out the window trying to keep his mind off of the current situation. He bit his lip.

JJ sped up a little bit on the country road because she knew that Reid was tense about something. He was extremely thankful for that…for her. She was always so considerate. With her increase in speed they got there two minutes earlier then he had predicted. Just before they got out JJ tried again. "Okay, what's wrong Spence?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'll tell you later. Let's just go." Reid replied swiftly. He really wanted to just get into the house so he could use the bathroom. They walked up the porch steps together and he watched as JJ walked boldly up to the door and knocked. He admired her confidence, but the truth was she had a lot more to be confident in than he did. After some footsteps they heard the lock undo and the door cracked open, showing the face of Tobias Henkel.

"Hi Mr. Henkel?" JJ smiled at him, but he only returned a confused and almost worried gaze.

"Umm…" His eyes shifted between them. "Yea." He answered her question.

JJ kept a bright, friendly smile on her face. "Mr. Henkel. FBI; I'm Agent Jareau and this is Agent Reid."

Reid nodded and held up his badge to show their credibility.

Henkel stared at them, "FBI?" He asked.

Reid ignored his question. "Uhh…may we come in?" He asked hopefully. He bit his lip and raised his eyebrows while waiting for the man to answer. He felt like his bladder was about to burst.

"I'm sorry…I-I don't let anyone in the house." Henkel's voice was calm, but there was a sense of fear that Reid could see in his eyes. He didn't really think anything of it. Who wouldn't be afraid when the FBI came knocking at their door?

"Actually…I-I…uhh." Reid struggled, "I really have to uh…you know…go…" He implied feeling that he couldn't hold it much longer.

Henkel just stared.

"You do?" JJ asked through her smile, barely looking at him. This was embarrassing.

"Yea for like 30 minutes." Reid replied gulping.

JJ turned around to look at him now while Henkel just watched the interaction between the two of them. "Why didn't you say something in the car?" She asked, tilting her head. They could have stopped before they got here to avoid this uncomfortable experience.

Reid turned back to Henkel. "Uhh…do you mind?" He shifted his weight uncomfortably. He saw JJ turn to face him again too.

Henkel looked back into the house for a second. "My-my father doesn't like it…" He said shaking his head.

"Father?" Reid asked looking the man from head to toe. "You're like 30." He added, the pieces weren't adding together.

"At what age should someone start disrespecting the wishes of their parents?" The man retorted defensively.

"Umm you witnessed something a few months ago that might be very helpful to us." JJ intruded ignoring how Reid was shifting his weight every few seconds behind her.

"I did?"

"You saw someone go over a wall and into a yard." JJ refreshed his memory. "You called the police." She added.

"Me?"

"You didn't?" JJ shook her head inquisitively. Was this all a big misunderstanding? A mistake that one of the police officers made?

"I'm sorry." He told her softly.

JJ tilted her head and stared back at him as if she was confused about what was going on.

Reid, however, was looking back at the car. He still had to use the bathroom and was beginning to get a little bit antsy.

"Is there another Tobias Henkel here?" JJ asked, looking around the porch.

"Just me and my father, Charles." He answered shrugging a little bit.

"There's a report on file that lists you as calling 911. You were walking a dog…" JJ tried again to get him to remember.

Reid had a weird feeling that he was lying.

"No-no that's wrong. I don't have a dog."

JJ froze for a split-second in confusion, but quickly recovered. "Oh…" She glanced back at Reid. "Alright..well sorry to bother you sir." She smiled a little bit not completely sure about what had just happened.

"Are you sure I can't just quickly use the-" Reid tried again, but Henkel cut him off before he could even finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry. Have a good night." He muttered and then shut the door.

Reid frowned and started to walk off of the porch with JJ.

"That's weird…" JJ commented as some hair blew in her face and she brushed it away. "Why bother calling the police if later you're just gonna pretend you didn't?" She asked questioningly. They made eye contact.

Reid's eyes lit up. "To gage the response time."

"What?" JJ asked, confused.

"If you're gonna kill somebody, but call the police first what do you need to know?" He asked, guiding her to the same conclusion he had just come to.

"How long it takes them to get there…" JJ answered, blinking in realization.

Little did either of them know…that night was going to be hell for both of them, each in a different way.

**_November 12th 2008_**

Reid was outside by his car. Through the windows of the BAU he could see that the janitors were still cleaning up the blood from Deputy Jason Battle. JJ really did have a good shot, but right now he was worried about her. When they had arrived her eyes were completely hollow when she talked…like the innocence had been taken away. He really wanted to talk to her so he was just waiting nonchalantly for her to come out. After about 5 minutes of waiting she walked out of the doors with her bag slung over her chest. He tried to be casual, pretending like he was unlocking his car. He looked over at her. "Oh hey Jayje." He gave her a friendly smile.

"Hey Spence." Her voice was as empty as her eyes. She started to walk over to him.

"You okay?"

She let out a sigh and he expected her to cover up again, but instead she was bluntly honest. "No…"

Reid turned towards her in surprise. He quickly recovered, "You saved Garcia's life…" He tried to comfort her by using that tactic, but it quickly failed.

"But I took someone else's life..." JJ shook her head and looked at the ground. "Let me ask you something: A _life _is gone because of me…so what makes me any different from the unsubs rotting in jail right now?"

"You killed one person to save two. It was the only thing you could have done." Reid insisted seeing the hurt glistening in her deep blue eyes. This was definitely cutting deep.

"Was it?" JJ retorted quickly looking up into Reid's eyes.

"You can't blame yourself…" Reid said persistently, "You wanna know how you're different than the unsubs?"

JJ's eyes were swimming now, but she refused to let the tears fall. "How?" Her voice cracked slightly showing the vulnerability that Reid previously didn't think that she'd had.

"You…are the most incredible person I've ever met. You have more compassion for victims then all of the BAU combined and you are the most innocent out of all of us too. Don't let this take all of that away. You're an amazing, honest, _beautiful_ woman, JJ." Reid looked her in the eyes and smiled.

"I just…" She shook her head. "I can't stop thinking about how he just…fell to the ground. With one shot I took someone's life away…it was just that easy."

"Stop."

JJ's eyes shot up towards him.

"Stop saying those things. You and I both know what you are. You aren't a killer, okay?" Reid shook his head. "Do you want to come over for dinner? I don't want you to be alone tonight…" He asked, going out on a limb.

"I-ummm…" She glanced over her shoulder. "Sure."

They drove to his house and had a quick dinner of some pizza he'd ordered. It was enough for both of them considering that they hadn't gotten a lot to eat that day. Once they were finished both of them retired to the couch to watch TV.

Out of nowhere JJ looked over at Reid, "When was your first time?" She asked.

"Uhh…what?" Reid asked, his heart beating out of control. He thought she was asking about his first time…you know.

"The first time you shot someone."

"Oh." Relief coursed through Reid's veins. "Well…we were on a case in Oregon when I had just joined. I went in with Gideon and one of the officers, but I was in the back…because I was a rookie. We found the unsub in one of the rooms, but he immediately pulled out his gun. Gideon tried to talk to him, but he ended up shooting the officer that was with us. I had the best angle so I shot him right after that. He died later in the hospital from blood loss." He sighed.

"Oh…"

"Yea. It really wasn't as eventful as yours, but I still felt guilty. I had dreams about it and it kept getting worse and worse until one day I decided to stop blaming myself. I decided to let myself off the hook and you should too." Reid told her.

JJ closed her eyes for a moment and then spontaneously hugged him. "You know what?" She asked during their hug.

"What?" Reid whispered back.

"You're incredible too. You're-you're…sweet, thoughtful…" JJ pulled away from him. "And don't forget handsome." She winked and nudged his shoulder lightly. "You have a lot going for you, Spence."

"So do you. Don't let this one thing change that." Reid pulled the conversation full circle back to the shooting.

"I won't thanks to you."

Reid smiled. "I'll always be here for you, JJ."

"I know you will." JJ stood up. "I should go." She picked up her coat from the back of one of his chairs and then started to walk towards the door.

Reid got up from the couch and opened the door for her.

Before she walked out she turned around to face him again. "You know that I love you, right?" She asked with a smile spread across her face.

"Of course." Reid smiled. "And I love you too Jayje."

JJ raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Maybe we're soul mates." She suggested jokingly as she turned around and made her way out the door. He watched her walk to her car and drive away. His heart ached when she was gone.

"Maybe we are…" Reid muttered.

**_Present_**

Reid decided to get up and see if she was awake yet. As he gazed through the small window he was happy to find that she was awake and staring out the window of her room. He knocked lightly on the door and she turned her head slowly. When she saw him a smile quickly appeared on her face. Her smile was stunning. She waved for him to come in.

"Hey there." Reid greeted as he walked through the door and sat down next to her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Better every day." JJ smiled brightly.

"Remember anything yet."

"Actually yea. I was sitting here and I looked out the window. Out of nowhere…it just came back. A talk I had with Mr. Roberts came back. I think it might have been because the sun was setting when I talked to him too." JJ nodded to the setting sun that was visible outside her window.

"Well that's good." Reid looked down at the ground. "Do you remember the talk we had in the bathroom…or in the car?" He asked hopefully. It had been hard enough the first time…he didn't want to put himself through that again.

"No. What happened?"

"You'll find out." Reid smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay. I mean…I thought you were dead. If you died I-I wouldn't be able to live." He told her honestly.

JJ met his eyes. "I wouldn't be able to live without you either."


	8. No Place Like Home

A haze. That was the only way that she could figure to describe it. Every time that JJ tried to look back and remember…it all just felt like a blur. It was weird for her to think that she had gone through something and now, couldn't even remember what it was? For her, it was like it never happened. She had lost a few days of her life and for what? For catching an unsub? It was worth it. She looked over at Reid who was sitting beside her, reading his book. She enjoyed the silence…the peace that he always brought.

When he noticed her head turn over to him he peered over top of his book. "You okay?" He asked as he shut his book.

"Yea I'm fine." JJ sat up in her bed. "You know, they said they're going to clear me to fly tomorrow and we can finally leave this place. Personally, I can't wait. I just wonder when I'll be able to get back to work."

"You know what I think?" Reid stared at her.

"What?"

"I think your work ethic is _too good!_ Most people would jump at the chance to take some time off, but not you…" Reid shook his head. "You're not most people."

JJ's cheeked became hot and she hoped that it wasn't causing them to be pink. She looked out the window. "I just think that…there's always another case, another story, another family that needs my help…_our_ help." Her gaze met his again. "Plus you guys need me to keep the BAU up and running."

"I wish I could argue with that, but really…" Reid shook his head. "It's kind of true."

"Anyway…I'll probably be out for a week or two, but I don't think this is a big thing. It's just a concussion." JJ smiled.

"You act like it's no big deal. Concussions can have major side effects JJ." Reid was completely serious. She saw in his eyes that he was concerned for her well-being.

"Oh Spence." JJ smiled, "Let's not worry about that right now. My memories _will _come back and I _will _come back to work. If you don't want to accept that then step out of my way." She knew she was too head-strong, but this was something she _had_ to do.

Reid put his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright." He nodded. "If you want to come back that's your decision and I'll support you either way."

The next day JJ was finally cleared to leave the hospital and fly back to Quantico. With Reid, she flew back on the FBI's jet. It wasn't a particularly smooth flight because of a thunderstorm that had been brewing somewhere over Tennesse, but JJ had been in worse conditions. As they neared closer to their destination JJ caught Reid staring at her.

"Yes?" She raised her eyebrows.

He looked away, shyly. "Oh sorry." His voice was a mutter.

"That reminds me." JJ sat forward and he, seeing her motion, set his book down. "I _do _remember what happened between us Spence so it's not like we're starting over from the beginning, okay?"

"Okay."

"And I think that we should just keep this all between us too because…well for one, the team would be all over this, and second, I'm pretty sure that it's not going to go over great with Strauss." JJ told him as she took a drink from her much needed coffee.

"I agree." Reid smiled. "I'm sorry for being so…awkward right now. It just feels like we are starting over because you…well…you lost your memory and some of the things you don't remember…" He examined the table, sheepishly.

"We'll get through it and so what if we're starting over? If we did it once, we can do it again. I mean, we do spend almost all of our time together. It's pretty inevitable some of us would fall in love." JJ smirked and gave him an enticing wink.

Reid smiled back. "I never really thought you liked me though." He shook his head. "Even with all those years of training and school I never felt like I could get a read on you."

"Of course I liked you! Spence, you are adorable." JJ smiled, "I think that when you like someone and you try to read them it's always compromised by what _you're_ thinking. So if you thought I didn't like you whenever you tried to figure me out all you would see was that I didn't like you."

"Wow…" He nodded, "I never thought of it that way."

"I can't believe you thought I wasn't into you though. I flirted with you all the time…almost too much of the time. I thought I was being too obvious!" JJ laughed.

"Saying someone is cute is not flirting! That's like a way of saying: You're adorable, but in a puppy dog way…not an 'I want to date you' kind of way.'" Reid shook his head. "The definition of flirting is to behave alluringly, not tease someone about being cute."

"See that's where you're wrong. Cute is the new sexy." JJ stood up and made her way to the coffee machine in the back. "Plus I made up a nickname for you…that is like an 'I like you more than a friend' trademark!" She said while making another cup of coffee.

Reid laughed. "I always thought that if someone on the team would be a couple it would be either Morgan and Emily or you and Hotch." He admitted.

"Morgan and Emily…definitely, but me and Hotch? Really? I mean...when I had first joined the unit I might have considered it, but now…" JJ shook her head.

"You might have considered it?" Reid held back a laugh.

JJ shrugged.

"Okay…time to change the subject." Reid said to break the awkward silence that had entered their conversation. "I meant to ask you earlier, but what's going on with you and Will?" This was another thing they needed to address.

"Oh yea." JJ sat down with her coffee as the pilot announced they were beginning their descent into Quantico. "He and I are on the rocks, but now that I have you I'm definitely going to break up with him. I just hope he'll let it go."

"He doesn't seem like the type." He said bitterly.

JJ shook her head. "Will isn't a monster he just has a bad temper sometimes. I know he'll be descent for this. He'll want to keep his dignity."

"Okay. I hope you're right." Reid would leave that alone now. He picked up his book again and started to read. The plane was starting to go lower and lower. Out of the window all of the buildings and roads were getting closer. They were both glad to be back home where they belonged.

JJ remembered telling everyone not to make a big deal out of her return, but with Garcia orchestrating everything she knew that her wishes would be disregarded. As she walked into the BAU, she was surprised to find that it was exceedingly normal. No banners or cakes. Thank god. As she and Reid walked in, Morgan and Prentiss walked up to them.

"JJ!" Prentiss exclaimed, embracing her friend gently.

"How are you feeling?" Morgan asked as he hugged her himself.

"I'm okay." JJ smiled, "It feels great to be back."

"JJ."

She turned around to see Hotch standing on the crosswalk, starting down at her. At first, she couldn't tell if he was happy to see her or not, but as he walked down and the emotion became more clear in his eyes it was easy to tell that he was relieved that she was back.

"It's great to see you." He nodded and gave her a quick, but meaningful, handshake before returning to his work.

JJ was left smiling after he left. Getting good feedback from him was always something she strived to do, so it felt good for him to say that to her. It made her feel wanted and important. She glanced back at Reid who gave her a big, goofy grin. He was so adorable. There really was no place like home.

* * *

**Sorry it's short, but I'm running out of places to go with this story so any ideas you have would be really helpful...especially if you want this story to keep going because I know I do. :) Thanks!**


	9. The First Time

**One week later**

* * *

Reid was in his apartment, alone like he liked it, lying comfortably on his couch. He let his thoughts wander, but they always seemed to end in the same place. _I can't stop thinking about her. _He thought, shaking his head. He wanted to stop; he really wanted to forget, just like she had, about their conversation in the bathroom because now that she didn't know he had to pretend like they were just friends again. Sure, she remembered the first two kisses, but that had been nothing compared to the one in the car before the restaurant. The doctor had said the memories would return, but it had been a week; a whole week with nothing. Reid was beginning to doubt the qualifications that were required to become a doctor. Maybe they should have gone to see a psychiatrist instead. He would have to research it later.

He picked up a book that was sitting on his coffee table, once again wishing he could forget about her. He made it a few pages before his mind began to wander again. It seemed like things had become even more awkward between them since their talk on the plane. They had agreed to keep it a secret, but Reid's question was; keep what a secret? They hadn't done anything since the accident. The only thing that actually _had_ happened was her break up with Will. That man was gone permanently now, but after that it seemed like she was avoiding him even more than usual. Now that was a problem. They didn't need to be together, he didn't mind, but he did need her in his life. She couldn't just cut him off like that. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't have the courage to ask. Maybe she had remembered everything already, but now felt uncomfortable around him for that specific reason. He didn't know. All he knew was that the woman he loved didn't love him back, or wasn't at the moment. He felt empty. She was the center to his circle, the peanut to his butter, the Nobel to his Prize.

The girl of his dreams.

But now, it seemed like he would never get her back. He would just go back to being Spencer Reid, that nerdy guy who could never seem to get a date. He hated that guy. He wanted to be Spencer Reid, the stud who was dating Jennifer Jareau. He wanted to be that guy. Little did he know that Spencer Reid and Spencer Reid were both the same guy: him.

The door bell rang.

"Coming…" He called out, standing up. He didn't know if there was a point to life anymore without love. He didn't want to live without love anyway. With a small sigh, he pulled the door open. "JJ?" His face brightened.

"Spence, hey." JJ smiled adorably, showing her bright white teeth. There was something different in her eyes though. The blue orbs that, during this past week, had been dull had now brightened up with what seemed to be a new spark. She had a small smirk on her face, almost flirtatious. Her cheeks were a little bit pink. He stared into her eyes for a few more moment. A new spark…he grinned.

"You remember."

"I remember."

His heart started pumping and he wanted to cry. Tears of joy threatened to leave his eyes. He couldn't live without her, it was true. They had figured that out this past week. He stepped forward and embraced her in his arms. Her hair smelled like some assortment of fruit, it was amazing. He loved holding her in his arms. It felt like she was the only one in the world who would fit in his arms with such ease. He felt her head rest on his shoulder. Feeling her breath on his neck sent a chill down on his spine. Desire welled up inside him. He wanted her. Right there, right then. He wanted her.

Swiftly with a lot more ease then he thought was possible, he pulled her inside and kicked the door shut behind her. He pressed his body up against hers, loving the warmth that it created. She was perfect. This was perfect.

"Tonight is the night." Reid whispered in her ear as he started to kiss her neck.

That night was definitely the night. The new couple retreated into Reid's bedroom, but during the whole night neither of them got much sleep.

An alarm went off at 6:00 and Reid reached over, hitting the snooze button. He rolled over and saw that JJ was sleeping in the bed next to him. That was the best feeling in the world. He scooted close to her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck again.

"Spence, stop…" JJ pleaded emptily. She really didn't want him to, but they both had to be at work by 7:00.

Reid didn't stop, but eventually JJ pulled away from him and hopped easily out of the bed. She looked back at him and gave him a quick shake of the head. "Didn't I leave some clothes here?"

"Yea I think so." He recalled that she did have a pair of work clothes that she had left and forgotten about when she had been staying over to help him with his addiction to dilaudid. He was thankful for that. Without her he would have never made it through. He also knew that she felt slightly at fault for causing it, but at least now he hoped she didn't still feel that way.

JJ rushed out of the room and while she was gone Reid changed into his own pair work clothes, brushed his teeth and brushed his hair which had gotten very messy over the course of events that had happened during the night. As he walked out of the room he found that JJ was ready already and had made a pot of coffee for them.

"You're just an over-achiever aren't you?" He walked over and kissed her cheek.

"Back off, buddy. You're going to have to control yourself once we get to work. I'm not ready for this to get out I don't know about you." JJ shook her head. "Imagine what Garcia and Emily and Morgan would say. Even Hotch would probably join in."

"I don't know if I'll be able to hold back for too long, Jayje." Reid walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "You're too attractive."

"And what about you? How do you expect me to resist you with your sweater vests and cacky pants?" JJ asked, turning around to face him.

"Did you really just say that or am I dreaming? You really are the perfect woman, aren't you?" Reid chuckled, "Come on we better get going."

They walked out of his house together and then got into their cars separately. It was a short drive to the BAU that they used to compose themselves and get their emotions in check. They pulled in and then met each other at the front. It wasn't unusual for them to arrive together; they were expected to be best friends after all. As they traveled towards the door, Reid noticed something.

"Ummm…JJ." Reid touched her shoulder and stopped her from walking in.

"Reid, I don't have time for this. I have to go look through some cases and reports. I don't just dress up like this to look pretty, I have work to do!" JJ looked back at him with an annoyed expression on her face.

"You have a hickey." Reid blurted out quickly.

JJ's hand flew up to her neck where she tried to feel for it. As her hand crossed over a small bump she shook her head, "Damn it!"

"And they know you broke up with Will too…" Reid stared down at his feet, knowing this was going to be a messy conversation.

"What? How?"

Reid bit his lip, "I may have mentioned it…"

"Spence! What the hell?" JJ exclaimed with her eyes wide.

"I had to tell someone! I was excited..." He shrugged, shyly.

JJ almost wanted to laugh. She hit him on the shoulder, "You suck at keeping secrets." She shook her head and sighed. "I guess we're going to have to make someone up for me."

"No way." Reid crossed his arms over his chest.

"Do you have any other ideas?"

He looked at her expectantly, "Tell them about us?"

"No."

Reid sighed, defeated. "Fine, make up a boyfriend for yourself. Have a ball, but this also means that when they tease you I get to go along with it since we're trying to act casual." He smirked a little and then walked in.

JJ followed hastily, hoping that maybe no one would notice. She glanced down at her watch. It was only 6:45. They were early. Great, now everyone would have time to notice the small mark that Reid had made on her neck.

"Hey look who it is!" Morgan smiled as his colleagues walked in.

JJ blushed a little bit; putting a hand casually on her neck like it was the most normal thing in the world. It was pretty obvious that it wasn't, but it was a valiant effort on her part.

Emily and Morgan exchanged a knowing look.

"What you got there, JJ?" Emily asked, staring at her friend.

JJ gave her a fierce look that almost said, _I thought we were supposed to be friends._ She moved her hand off of her neck figuring that her tactic wasn't working. As her co-workers, including Reid, examined it she sighed. "I had a good night, okay? Is that a crime?"

"Not at all." Morgan put his hands in the air to surrender. "Who's the lucky guy?"

JJ shook her head, "Why should I tell you? I don't think it's any of your business."

"Is that why you broke up with Will? For mystery guy? He must be a real catch then." Reid smiled, adding to their conversation. He received a hot glare from JJ.

"So what if it was? He's pretty great, but sometimes hot-headed."

Emily smirked, "You two must have a lot in common then."

"I have some case files to look through." JJ smiled a little bit and shook her head. "I can't do anything without you guys finding out, can I?" She let out a playful sigh and then continued the walk up to her office.

Reid, Morgan and Emily continued talking down by their desks while JJ looked through the case files. It was only a few minutes before her phone rang and she received an urgent request for their help on a nearby hostage situation in Radford, VA. A small group had taken a large group of students from Radford University hostage in the library. Homeland Security was overseas so the BAU was the next best thing.

Reid saw JJ emerge from her office in a rush and walked into Hotch's office. After a short talk, they both came out of his office and walked down to where the team was still talking by their desks. There was a serious look on both of their faces. It was normal for Hotch, but JJ? This had to be something urgent. The situation was quickly explained to the rest of the team and they all boarded the plane to take the short ride from Quantico to Radford. It was a 15 minute flight, but it was faster than taking cars with all the roadblocks and traffic on the roads near the event. As they arrived, Hotch and Rossi instantly walked up to the phones so that they could contact the group inside. JJ started to take care of the press, answering their questions and giving out statements. It was really incredible how she could put on a smile to calm everyone down when the situation was actually very severe. She released a quick statement about what was happening, but had to remain after to answer the ridiculous questions they were asking. It seemed like they always jumped to conclusions and she always had to shut them down. It was back and forth.

"Is anyone dead?"

"Not that we know of."

"Has the group asked for any means of transportation yet? Are they going to move the students to a new place?"

"They haven't asked for transportation yet. As far as we know they are not going to move the students, nor will they be able to. There are too many of them."

"When is the FBI going to go in?"

"Once we know where all the hostages are…or we get all of the hostages out."

"Are you going in armed or unarmed?"

"Most likely armed, but as I said before. We won't go in until we are completely sure that no civilians will get hurt in the crossfire. That is our number one priority at the moment."

"Does the group have a name yet?"

"No."

"Why hasn't anyone gone in yet?"

"If we go in blind it will be pointless. We have to find out where they are, what they want and how they are going to respond to the police coming in."

"Why did they choose to hold them all into the library?"

"It is the biggest, most secure place on campus."

"What kind of bomb do they have?"

"As of right now, we have not confirmed the presence of a bomb."

Reid, Morgan, and Emily were watching the security film to figure out what had happened before they were shut off by the group inside. It looked like the students were all just reading peacefully until a couple fit men with masks came in and yelled for them all to get on the ground. Everyone obeyed and then the feed was cut off. It really wasn't enough to go on right now. They all walked back outside to where Hotch and Rossi were to figure out what the group wanted or even where they were. As they walked up, Rossi was already talking.

"I know that you don't want to do this. I understand….I know. This was all just a big mistake, but if you let the hostages out we can help you. We just can't assist you individually with all of the hostages in the way. Please let us help you." Rossi glanced at the other team members as they walked up.

Hotch looked at them, "Possibly suicidal. He's a student. The other two members of the group are just following by his lead. He says he doesn't know why he decided to do it. He never meant to hurt anyone, and so on." He shook his head.

"You will?" Rossi's eyes lightened up. He looked at everyone. "Send them out the front door and maybe then I can come in and work something out with you." He lied.

Hotch spoke into his earpiece to the SWAT members. "Hold your fire we have hostages coming out." He ordered and once he finished, JJ rejoined the team by the phone too. They all had their bulletproof vests on, ready to go in.

All of the innocent students walked out of the building. Some were crying while others were cradling the crying ones in their arms, others looked scared out of their minds. This was a tragic thing to go through especially at that age.

"Alright," Rossi spoke into the phone. "We're going to come in now. Don't be afraid."

"I-I…okay."

Rossi and Hotch took the front while Morgan and JJ took the right side door and Emily and Reid took the left side door. As they approached the building, it was almost weirdly silent. Too silent. Before anyone could react in any way a bomb exploded, blowing the glass windows to pieces. All of the team members were extremely close, closer than they should have been. The force from the blow propelled them all backwards. As JJ lay on her back in the rubble the only thing she could think of was how much of a ball the press was going to have with this. _You said there was no bomb in the building! You told us that it was safe! Did any of the students die? Did any FBI members die? Why didn't the FBI know about the bomb? How can we expect the FBI to keep us all safe if you can't even keep a few students safe? _They would ask. She could read the headlines now: _Library blows even after FBI Liaison claimed it was safe. _How was she going to weasel her way out of this one? Maybe she wouldn't have to. Her eyes closed.


	10. The Reunion

"JJ! JJ! Are you okay?" Morgan's voice sounded in her ear.

JJ's eyes shot open in a panic. Around her she could see metal, bricks and a lot of glass. She couldn't believe that they had both survived considering how close they had gotten to the building. Around her she saw that the SWAT team was starting to make their way through the rubble. Her ears were ringing, making it hard to understand most of what Morgan was yelling at her. It was bizarre. To her, it seemed peacefully quiet. She could barely hear anything except for the ringing. All the voices were muffled and everything looked like it was happening in slow motion.

"I-I'm okay." She answered shakily, managing to get herself up. Even her own voice sounded muffled in her own ears. She didn't feel any broken bones, but her head started throbbing again just like it had when she'd gotten the concussion. She remembered that the doctor said that people who got concussions were most susceptible to getting them a second time.

She didn't care. There wasn't time for that.

"Are you sure?" Morgan's voice was still quiet, but the ringing seemed to be fading. He looked over her quickly for injuries and nodded when he was done. "You're good." That sounded very clear. Her hearing was coming back fine.

"Where's Reid?"

"Where's Emily?"

Adrenaline pumped through JJ's veins. "Come on Morgan! We have to go find them." Despite having just been knocked several feet backwards by a bomb's blast, JJ sprinted through the rubble. Had anyone else gotten seriously hurt? She saw Hotch helping the SWAT lifting up the rocks.

There was one of them, three more to go.

As she passed the station she saw Rossi sitting in an ambulance. It looked like he was getting a few stitches above his eyebrow. He waved a little bit as she passed by.

Two more.

JJ could hear Morgan's footsteps behind hers. He may be more muscular, but she was smaller and could move faster than him. They were getting closer and closer to the left side. There was a large pile of rubble blocking their path. They would have to go all the way around it. On the other side they found Emily. Her face was bloody and she was cradling her wrist. She was dragging someone across the ground, away from the rubble.

_Reid. _

They both dashed over. JJ was at Reid's side in seconds, examining him.

"What the hell happened?" Morgan asked, crouching down too.

"The bomb was on our side. It exploded and I fell straight into a pile of rubble. Once I got myself out I saw that Reid was lying on top of the rubble too. I think he just lost consciousness because I don't see a head wound. I am sure that his arm is broken though." Emily nodded to his left arm.

JJ looked down at his disfigured arm. "Come on. We'd better get you both to an ambulance." She started to stand up and so did Emily, but as she did it looked like she didn't have the energy to hold herself up. She fell straight into JJ almost knocking her over. Luckily Morgan swooped in and scooped Emily up in his strong arms. She smiled a little bit at that because the connection between them was so adorable. Morgan could be chivalrous if he tried. He carried Emily to the ambulance and then came back for Reid a few moments later. Both ambulances sped off, but neither JJ nor Morgan could ride along. They had gotten specific orders to stay and sort out this mess, but as it turned out there was really nothing for them to do. They ended up being the ones who had to take care of the press. JJ had secretly hoped that someone else would have taken care of that. As they waited for everything to get set up they both had to change into clean clothes and clean themselves up.

Morgan was the first to emerge from the bathroom and JJ joined him a few moments later. There was a moment of much needed silence between them.

"I'm worried about her." Morgan spoke, his eyes seemed faraway.

JJ sighed, "Why haven't you told her yet?"

"Told her what?"

JJ smacked Morgan on the shoulder, "We all know that you like her! And she likes you back Derek! Close the deal." She said incredulously. Men were so short minded.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes! So when we finish here you need to grow a pair and then get your ass down to that hospital. It's time Derek. You have to make the move because Emily won't." JJ shook her head and let out a small sigh.

Morgan nodded, "I will." He smiled a little bit, now excited. "You know…Reid has a huge crush on you Jayje. It's been going on since you joined the team."

"Really?" JJ asked sarcastically. "You think I don't know that?"

Morgan sighed, "I know you're with that other guy, but he-well…I mean, he cares about you and you care about him too. I guess I could see you guys together…that's all I'm saying." He gave her a nod.

"He's cute, but…" JJ shook her head, not knowing where to go with this. "I only really think of him as a brother." She lied easily. That was what they would all be expecting her to say, so she would say it even though Reid was way more than a brother to her.

_Way _more.

"Okay…" Morgan sighed again, "We'd better get out there before the press start attacking the guards."

JJ nodded, walked through the door and up to one of the podiums. Morgan walked up to the other one. There were a lot of people there. The space for the crowd was packed and there were flashes of cameras coming from all directions.

"Did a bomb go off?"

"How many people were killed?"

"Why didn't the FBI know where it was?"

They started to yell more, but JJ put her hand up in the air. "Stop." She said firmly. "Save your questions until the end." Surprisingly all of the questions seemed to stop on the dime. It was probably because the sweet, smiling liaison that they had seen before was gone. She had changed into the serious, mission-oriented blonde standing before them now.

"A bomb has exploded from inside the library, but the only people that were inside at the time were the kidnappers. All of the hostages made it out safe, but the kidnappers were killed by the blast. No FBI members or any other personnel were killed. The blast came from the left side. This seemed at the beginning to be a normal kidnapping, but later we realized that the kidnappers were suicidal so we knew that we had to make sure that the hostages got out safely. With the help of a negotiator they were all saved, but it as we started to make out way in the bomb went off. The SWAT team has already cleared the rest of the building and there is no sign of any other bombs." Morgan reported calmly.

"The rubble will be cleared by the end of this week and the library will be rebuilt. The rest of the campus will be check for explosive materials, but as for now…it is a secure area. All students are scheduled to return to school next week." JJ ended, "We will take any and all questions now."

"No one was killed, but was anyone injured?" One shouted as JJ pointed at her.

"Two FBI members were injured, but it was nothing severe. All civilians were far away enough to be safe." She explained.

"Were the kidnappers students?"

"Yes." She didn't give any details.

"What kind of bomb was it?"

"All of the pieces will have to be collected and examined before that information can be released to the public." She told them.

"Were you at the scene?"

"Yes we were."

"Were you near the building when the blast went off?"

"Yes."

"How did the FBI not know that a bomb was inside the building?"

"Like I said before," JJ was getting annoyed, "We were preoccupied with getting the hostages out. We knew that the kidnappers were suicidal, but never did we get any kind of hint that there was a bomb inside the building."

"Will any reporters be allowed on the scene?"

"No."

"Do you believe that this is a terrorist attack?"

"No."

"Why is the behavioral analysis unit here? Do you believe that these students were serial killers?" Someone asked.

"No. We are here because Homeland Security is overseas and they needed hostage negotiators." JJ looked around. There were no more hands up. "Any other questions?" Still no hands. She nodded and then started to walk off of the stage.

Morgan followed her as they made their way back towards the now crowded rubble scene.

"I think they have this handled." Morgan said to JJ as they looked over the scene. "Do you want to come to the hospital with me?"

As they started walking to the SUV, Hotch ran up to them. "Where do you two think that you're going?" He asked, tilting his head. He looked appalled that they would even think about leaving when there was so much chaos, but the thing was; that there really wasn't any chaos. It was almost strangely calm.

JJ, thinking quickly, put a hand on the back of her head. She looked up at Morgan, who played along.

"JJ hit her head in the blast and she said she felt a little dizzy. We were just going to go down to the hospital just in case she has another concussion." Morgan explained, "The doctor did say that if you get a concussion once it is easy to get a second one."

Hotch nodded, "Alright…" He looked at them with suspicion, but when neither of their gazes wavered he finally jogged off.

They turned and started walking towards the car again, "You know…" Morgan started, "Maybe we actually should get that checked."

JJ shrugged, "My head does hurt, but there are a lot more symptoms of a concussion. I think I might have just hit my head, it's not a concussion. Trust me, I think I would know." She smiled a little bit. "If I did have one, how would I have come up with a brilliant plan like that?"

"That _was_ pretty clever. You're good, Pennsylvania. I'll give you that." Morgan climbed into the driver's seat. After she got in and they both buckled, he pulled out. It was a long drive down to the hospital because of all the traffic in the city. It took 45 minutes to get to a hospital that should've been 15 minutes away. By the time they arrived they were both desperately in need to see their loved ones.

"We're here to see Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid." Morgan told the nurse as they arrived.

"What is your connection to the victims?"

Morgan lifted up his FBI badge, "I have specific orders from my unit chief to come down here and check on them." These lies were just rolling effortlessly off of his tongue.

"Oh I'm sorry. Let me just get their room numbers…" She typed quickly. "Emily Prentiss is in room 402 on the fourth floor and Spencer Reid was discharged a half an hour ago with a broken arm." She told them.

Morgan nodded, "Alright." He looked back at JJ. "He must have left."

"Yea, let's go see how Emily is doing then." JJ said and walked over to the elevator. She quickly pressed the up button. The elevator came quickly as if it knew how much they both wanted to see her. They both walked in and Morgan pressed the 4th floor button. It was a quick ride. The doors slid open and they both rushed out.

"What did she say, 401?" Morgan asked.

JJ shook her head. That didn't sound right. "No…no. I think it was 403."

"402! It was 402, come on!" Morgan exclaimed, rushing down the hall. After they passed 401, he turned into the next doorway. Inside was Emily lying on a hospital bed with Reid sitting to her left. She had temporary stitches on her cheek and her wrist was in a cast.

"Hey." Morgan smiled and sat down in the chair on her other side. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I don't know why they're keeping me here; all I really needed was some stitches." Emily shrugged like it was nothing.

Morgan smiled, "You'll probably get discharged later."

Their conversation continued as JJ sat down in the chair next to Reid. As they Emily and Morgan spoke she scooted closer to him. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked, looking down at the large cast that was on his arm. It looked like it almost seemed to be weighing him down.

Reid smiled a little bit at her. "I'm good. I've been waiting for you to get here, what took so long?" He asked, tilting his head.

"I'm sorry. Morgan and I had to take care of all the press. You can only imagine how bad they were after the bomb went off." JJ rolled her eyes.

"Don't act like you weren't one of them once. We all know that you were JJ." Reid teased lightly.

JJ let out a small sigh, "I'll let you have that once just because you're hurt. Next time you won't be so lucky." She paused shortly, reached down, after making sure that Emily and Morgan were deep in conversation, and entwined her fingers with his. "But tonight...don't think that the cast is going to get in my way. I'll work my way around it." She whispered seductively in his ear and watched as his eyes widened.

"Jennifer Jareau, you are bad." Reid shook his head. "But its sexy…that's why I put up with it."

JJ pulled away a little bit. "Put up with it?" She scoffed, "You couldn't live without it."

"Okay, you caught me. You're right." Reid wanted more than anything to kiss her. He wanted to feel her lips against his, but with Morgan and Emily sitting there he knew that it couldn't be done, not here. They would have to wait until they went home that night. He was quickly reminded of the previous night. A chill went down his mind. That had, by far, been the best night of his life, but maybe tonight would be better…he could only hope.

After Emily was finally discharged and they signed all the papers, everyone left. Morgan called Hotch and asked if they still needed help, but he said no and that they should go home. Secretly, they were all glad. The plane was only 15 minutes so there wasn't much talking between them. It was mostly just a thinking time. When they landed JJ went to her office to grab some case files before she left. As she turned to leave she saw Morgan standing in her doorway.

"Go home Derek." JJ shook her head with a smirk on her face.

Morgan smiled, "I'm going out to dinner with her and I think I'm gonna tell her then. I just wanted to thank you. Without you pushing me, I would never have ever considered doing this, but you're right. It is time."

"Yes! Finally! I'm so glad you're finally doing this, good for you. I hope everything turns out good." JJ turned off the light and exited her office with Morgan walking down the catwalk with her. "You two are going to be really cute together."

"Have you considered what I said?"

"I have," JJ started, "but it's still a no, sorry."

Morgan shook his head. "Alright, Jayje, but you'll regret it. I know you will because Reid's gonna be rich after he wins the Nobel Prize. Then you'll wish you'd taken my advice." He joked with a big grin on his face. It was easy to tell that he was excited.

"Good luck, Derek." JJ smiled and watched him walk out with Emily.

She walked over to Reid, "Derek is gonna tell Emily that he likes her tonight. It's so sweet."

Reid nodded. He hadn't listened much to what she had said, "Come on…" A smile creeped onto his face. "We have somewhere to be…don't we?" His voice was smooth and filled with craving.

The drive back to his house was silent. Reid took the time to prepare himself for what was about to happen for the second time in two nights. This was the best thing ever. He couldn't even imagine doing anything better, not even reading a good book could beat it and Reid had loved doing that. He felt excitement welling up inside him.

JJ, however, with every passing moment felt her head starting to throb again. It was weird, the pain had returned.

Maybe because of all the lights that came during the night time.

Maybe it was just car sickness.

But JJ had the nagging feeling that it had really never left.

It was getting worse. She was having trouble concentrating on anything. All she wanted was for the pain to go away. It was a pounding pain and the only thing she really wanted was to be able lay down, but she also didn't want Reid to be worried.

It would go away on its own like it usually did.

They came to a stop in his driveway and Reid hopped out of the car quickly so that he could around to the other side and open her door for her. He was such a gentleman. He took her hand and helped her out before, while still holding her hand, he led her into his house and then immediately into the bedroom. In an instant she was laying down and he was hovering over her, kissing her neck. This shy, sensitive guy was much different behind closed doors.

But her head was still aching.

"Stop…"JJ said quietly while he was kissing her neck.

He pulled away for a split second. "What is it, can't take the heat?" He joked lightly before going in again and kissing her neck.

"No, Reid…" JJ pleaded, "Stop…stop!" She exclaimed pushing him off. The pain was too great. She couldn't enjoy this, in fact, it was making it worse.

He got off of her with a hurt expression on his face, had he done something wrong? Before he could say anything she was up and out of his bed. He watched her run into the bathroom. From where he was on the bed, he could hear her throwing up into his toilet. Hastily, he rushed in and held her hair back while she crouched over his toilet.

When she finished he lowered himself on to the ground and wrapped his arms around her.

"JJ, what's going on?" He asked, very confused.

JJ was on the verge of tears. Her head was pounding and whenever he spoke, it was worse. It was almost like a hangover, except she hadn't drunk anything. "My head…it hurts again." She whispered quietly.

"Did you hit your-"

"Stop…please stop." JJ sobbed, holding her hands over her ears. Just the sound of him talking made her head throb with searing pain. She didn't know what was wrong, but it was definitely causing her a lot of pain.

"Sorry…I'm sorry." Reid whispered, wrapping his arms around her again. He held her like that while she sobbed in pain. He hated seeing her like this; it almost caused him pain, especially since he felt like he had practically caused it. It seemed like forever until she composed herself.

"Well…" he made sure to still talk softly, "I don't think it's another concussion because…that would be a lot of other symptoms too. It may just be pain from hitting your head after having such a big head trauma a month ago."

JJ nodded in understanding, tears still racing down her cheeks. "What about the pain…?" she breathed.

"Ummm…" Reid bit his lip, "Do you still have your medication from your first concussion? That is probably the best thing." He nodded.

"In my purse." She started to get up, but he shook his head.

"No, JJ. I'll get it. Stay right here." Reid walked off and went to her purse. Inside he found the small bottle of pills that he was looking for. He filled up a cup of water and then went back to her, handing the cup of water and pills to her.

She swallowed them, desperate to get the pain to go away.

"Are you okay to get up?" Reid asked quietly.

JJ nodded and slowly started to get to her feet while holding onto the counter. He quickly came to her side and helped her back over to the bed where she laid down happily. It was a lot more comfortable there. He laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, knowing that he wanted this to be a fun night.

"No, it's okay." Reid whispered back, rubbing his hand along her arm. "Tomorrow night you can make it up to me." They both laughed a little and then he turned the light off so that they could drift off into the sweet release of sleep.


	11. The Unknown

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

More than a few curse words escaped JJ's mouth as she heard her work phone ringing from inside her purse. She felt a lot better than she had yesterday, her headache was gone for now, but she wasn't completely sure that it wasn't going to come back. Trying not to wake Reid, who was still snoring softly beside her, she slid out of the bed. Her phone was still ringing as she dug through her purse and found it. She didn't wait to look at the caller ID.

"Agent Jareau." She answered, trying not to sound as tired as she actually was. This was her work phone it could be anyone important.

"Hey JJ, it's Hotch. I hate to call this early, especially after yesterday, but we have a case. I'll take care of the rest of the team, but I need you to get here as soon as you can to look over it." Hotch explained with urgency.

JJ wanted to sigh, but she knew he was listening. "Okay I'll be in soon. Where are we going?" She asked curiously.

"Portland, Oregon. There's a killer there that has specifically asked for our presence so we have to get in as quick as we can." Hotch informed her quickly. It sounded like he was rushing their conversation so JJ took the hint.

"Alright I'll be there in 20 minutes." JJ told him already gathering her purse off of the ground, knowing that she had to go back to her house to get some clothes. She glanced back at Reid, who was still sound asleep. She didn't have time to say goodbye and Hotch would be calling him soon anyway so she just made her way towards the door.

"Thanks again, JJ." He hung up abruptly.

JJ shoved her phone into her purse and walked out his door, shutting his quietly behind her. She walked down the driveway and realized that she didn't have her car so she poked her head back inside and grabbed his car keys. Reid liked to walk anyway, plus he had enough time to call for a ride if he needed one. She didn't. The drive to her house was short and she knew that she didn't have that much time so she got dressed as quickly as she could. After that, she got back into Reid's car and drove down the BAU.

She arrived 10 minutes early so she took the time to quickly call Reid. It rang a few times before he finally answered.

"You took my car!" Reid said loudly. "Without even so much as a "Good Morning Spence" you think it's okay to steal my car. Well, JJ…I had no idea what kind of person you really are." He chuckled a little bit.

JJ laughed a little, "I'm sorry. Hotch called about a case and he told me I had to be in as soon as possible. I knew I didn't have enough time...I really am sorry, Spence." She honestly did feel guilty about just taking his car without asking.

"No, it's okay. I don't mind walking, if anything, I like it better than driving. Once again I think you did me a favor without even meaning to." Reid chuckled a little bit more. "I'll be there soon. Save me some coffee, okay?"

JJ got out of her car, "I'll try…you know how Morgan gets. See you soon." She hung up the phone and then walked through the front door of the BAU. It was practically empty except for two offices; Hotch's and Strauss'. She set her bag down in her office and then went into Strauss' office only to find Hotch in there too.

"There you are." Strauss said as if she was late. She nodded to the empty chair next to Hotch's. "Sit, we need to brief you." She explained.

JJ sat quickly and folded her hands in her lap, listening carefully.

"This case is in Oregon, as you already know." Strauss started, handing JJ a case file over her desk before continuing. "This unsub has been dormant for 5 years. In 2008, he abducted three victims; a drama professor named Gea Conrad, an aspiring actor named John Witte and an actress named Dianna Johnson. They were missing for four weeks until John's body was found dumped in a ditch near the highway. Gea's body was dumped a week later in another ditch off of a different highway. They were both strangled." She paused, "But Dianna survived."

JJ looked up from her file, "She did? How?"

"She told police that she had an opportunity to escape and took it. Apparently our unsub is a playwright who abducted them so that they would perform his play. Dianna said that they rehearsed numerous times and then every weekend they would give him a performance to show them how it was getting along. If they messed up or didn't do it good enough he would beat them. She said that he got so tired of Gea and John that he said he had to get rid of them. Dianna escaped. She led police back to the house where she had been kept, but it was empty and the killings stopped after that." Strauss explained.

JJ nodded, "So we know what he does…"

Hotch sighed, "He's also sent messages to the police department taunting them for the past five years about letting him escape. They reported that they didn't come constantly, only once every two months."

"And now he's back?"

"Yes and he has abducted another two actresses already while also sending this letter to a local police department." Hotch nodded to Strauss who set the letter out on her desk.

**_Dear Portland Police Department, _**

**_I have them. _**_I have the two people you're looking for. Don't believe me? Well, I don't think you have a choice. This is your only lead so I suggest you pay attention and read carefully. _

_You seem to think you can stop me, but you're in way over your heads. I've been sending these for years and you still can't seem to put too heads together to figure out who I am. It's boring being disregarded so I think I'm going to get back in the game…if you know what I mean and I think you do. The thing is, and no offense to you guys, but I don't want you looking for me. _

_I want the Behavioral Analysis Unit from the FBI to come. They're the only people who will give me a challenge. I need a spark back in my life and I think they can give it to me. And I know you'll probably ignore this letter too, but I swear if you don't take action I will kill someone every day until they're here. You have until February 12__th__ to get them here. Oh and tell the agents I'll be looking forward to seeing them. Especially Agents Prentiss and Jareau. _

**_Signed, _**

_You wish you knew._

_PS. Also let Agent Jareau know that I'll be expected a press release on this._

"February 12th?" JJ asked, trying to ignored the queasy feeling she felt in her stomach that she felt because the unsub named her individually. "That was yesterday."

"And he kept his promise. Reese Hyland was shot and killed in her own house with the word 'Hamartia' written in her blood on one of the walls." Hotch reported to her, reading it from the file that was sitting in his own lap.

JJ nodded, "So that's why it was so urgent." She stood up. "I'll go get the conference room ready for briefing." She walked out of the room with Hotch following and they both entered the room together. Without speaking, both of them prepared to brief their team for this case. They had to get their soon if they were going to be of any help.

The rest of the team entered the room a few minutes later and after JJ presented the case to them, they discussed.

"Narcissist, that much is obvious." Morgan nodded, "In his letters he uses the word "I" in almost every single sentence. This is all a game to him." He said out loud, leaning back in his chair.

"And every game needs an opponent:" Rossi added, "Us."

Emily nodded thoughtfully, "This guy also has to be fit to be able to abduct three people alone without a trace. He's organized and probably planned his victims out, it isn't left to chance." She joined into the discussion.

Reid, who had been completely silent, finally spoke. "What did you say was written on the wall in Reese's blood?"

"Hamartia. Do you know what that is, Reid?" Hotch asked, looking expectantly at the genius across the table from him. He could see his young mind working.

After a few seconds, Reid's eyes lit up and he nodded quickly. "Yes! Yes, Hamartia is a term used in Greek drama, more particularly tragedy plays. It is the fatal error or simple mistake on the part of the protagonist that will eventually lead to their downfall. Hamartia could also be used as an archery term to describe a shot that misses the bull's eye." He spoke hurriedly.

"So he's saying that this is the mistake that will lead to their downfall, basically." Rossi summed up.

Reid nodded and pointed at Rossi, "Exactly." He muttered.

JJ made eye contact with Hotch and pointed briskly to the watch that was on her wrist. The look in her deep blue eyes was one of urgency. They needed to go before the unsub killed again because of their absence. Without waiting for Hotch's announcement to get on the plane, she walked out of the room to go grab her stuff. A few seconds later she heard her door open and shut. She didn't look up from what she was packing in her bag.

"What?" She asked, not being mean, but also not being her usual self. It was more of an impatient tone, like she didn't have time to talk sort of thing.

There was a scoffing noise, "Is that really how you're going to talk to me now that we're together?" Reid asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He had a dopey smile on his face.

JJ looked up and a small smile crossed her face. "Together?" She tilted her head, "What gave you the idea that we were together?" She joked lightly, loving how he could lift her mood with one comment. She had really needed it today too.

"Well…I don't know…" Reid took a big step towards her, closing the distance between them. "Maybe this." He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. It was didn't last long, but the passion was still there.

JJ pulled away and glanced around, "We can't do this here…you know that." She backed away from him and then started to pack again, shaking her head slightly. There was a small smile on her face and redness on her cheeks.

"So I take it that you're feeling better?" Reid changed the subject. He didn't want her to go all the way out to this case if she was still having those headaches, it definitely wouldn't help.

JJ nodded a little bit, "Yea I feel better than yesterday. There's still a little bit of a groggy feeling though, I don't know how to explain it…" She muttered, looking down at her phone distractedly. It looked like she was reading something important.

"Okay…well, just tell me if you feel it again, okay?"

JJ nodded and this time she looked up and made eye contact with him so that he knew that she really would hold up her side of the deal. After that, she lifted up her bag and started heading towards the door. Just as she was passing Reid and opened her mouth to say something, her phone rang.

Reid rolled his eyes and smiled.

She looked down at the caller ID, "I have to take this. I'll see you on the plane. Save me a seat?" Her mouth curved into a small smile.

"Always." Reid walked out of her office as he heard her answer the phone behind him. He continued on to his desk to grab a few more things before they left. He had heard Morgan and Emily approaching from behind before they even spoke.

"Hey kid," Morgan started patting him on the back, "How's the arm?"

Reid turned around and shrugged, "I'm good. How are you?" He looked at Emily.

Emily smiled, "A few scratches and bruises…it was nothing." She laughed a little bit.

No one spoke for a few seconds.

Reid saw Morgan and Emily make eye contact, something flashed between them. It was almost like they were having a conversation through their eyes. There was something there, but he wasn't completely sure what it was. He remembered that JJ had mentioned something about Morgan taking her to dinner.

"So did you guys go out last night?" Reid raised his eyebrow inquisitively.

Neither of them spoke again. They just had another eye conversation that made Reid feel very awkward and uncomfortable.

Finally Morgan spoke, "JJ told you?"

Reid nodded smirking. He hadn't denied it and by the grin on Emily's face he could tell that it had probably gone well.

Morgan stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I took Emily out last night and well…" They made eye contact with each other again and it made Reid hope that he and JJ weren't that obvious about their desire for each other.

"Say no more. I think I got the gist of it." Reid nodded and picked up his bag again. "I'll see you guys on the plane." He smirked and turned around to make his way to their jet. He was happy to see that the sky was considerably clear; Rossi would probably be relieved too. He boarded the plane only to see JJ's bag sitting on the ground.

He smiled a little as he walked over towards the seats, "Why am I not surprised? I guess we do have a few minutes alone-" He cut himself off when he realized that not only was JJ sitting in a seat, Hotch was there too…giving Reid a confused look.

"Uh…Reid?" Hotch stared at him, almost concerned.

Reid's cheeks flushed and it took everything he had not to make eye contact with JJ. He knew that would be too obvious, "Sorry…I just thought-" He cut himself off again, "Nevermind. I'm gonna go use the bathroom." He set his bag down and walked to the back of the plane. He stopped for a second, listening.

Hotch asked JJ what was wrong with him.

JJ only answered with a short 'I don't know' and a few giggles that he was sure she couldn't hold down.

Reid entered the bathroom, used it quickly and then came back out only to find that everyone else was on the plane now. He made some coffee for himself and then sat down in the seat next to JJ, sipping his coffee. There was a lot of noise on the plane as everyone got situated. He felt JJ lean towards him.

"Hotch asked me if I thought you were talking to yourself." JJ whispered in his ear, giggling a little bit more. "I think he thinks that you're having a hang-over or something."

Reid rolled his eyes and smiled, "You're definitely going to have to make this up to me."

"I didn't ask you to come in here and try to make a move on me." JJ shook her head, "We'll see…" That was how that conversation ended because after that everyone got seated and it became sickeningly quiet.

The plane ride went on without a hitch.

To everyone, JJ and Reid looked to be nothing more than friends. They were sitting a healthy distance apart, minding their own business, and only conversing with a few casual words every so often. But what the team couldn't see was that underneath the table Reid's fingers were delicately intertwined with JJ's.


	12. The Life and Times of Jennifer Jareau

The plane ride was exceedingly long so by the time they finally reached Oregon it was around 11:30 at night, but in an attempt to prevent another murder they called the press in advance to meet them at the airport. They had to make a spectacle of themselves and catch the unsub's attention to save someone's life. They were all tired once they touched down, but they knew that the media was waiting for them so they did their best to individually perk up. They could see the cameras flashing before they even opened the doors.

JJ and Hotch took the front lines because they were good with the media, especially JJ. The doors came open and the agents started to exit the plane.

"Hello! Hello! Agent Hotchner!" One of the reporters called, backpedalling in front of Hotch and JJ. She was holding out a microphone and her cameraman was behind her, videotaping everything. "Hi, Renee Clearwater, Portland Tribune. Are you here because of the recent murders?"

JJ took charge, "Yes. We are here to work closely with the police station and investigate these murders. Hopefully we'll be able to shed some light on these events." She spoke clearly and confidently without giving anything important away, like a true politician.

Reid stood towards the back, watching. He tried to stay out of the most of the pictures because he wasn't exactly photogenic. He listened as Hotch and JJ took turns answered Renee Clearwater's questions. Other reporters approached, asking Rossi and Morgan questions also. They answered calmly with the same confidence that JJ seemed to have. Reid lingered towards the middle of the group so that hopefully no one would ask him anything.

"Hello! Hello, what are your names?" A reported approached Emily and Reid. They exchanged a glance, knowing what they had to do. Rule number one: Answer calmly. Nervous and panicked was the last thing they wanted the FBI to be represented as.

Emily gave the woman who had approached them a pleasant smile, "I am Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss and this is Dr. Spencer Reid. We are from the Behavioral Analysis Unit out of Quantico Virginia."

"And what does the Behavioral Analysis Unit specialize in? Behavior?" She looked curious, if anything.

Reid took the opportunity to answer this one because of his extensive knowledge. "The Behavioral Analysis Unit or BAU, is based highly off of profiling which is basically the art of observing crime scenes, victimology, MO, motives, triggers, and signatures of a serial killers so that we can narrow down a range of suspects to find the right one. It's a lot of analyzing, inferring and psychology." He explained with a small, shy smile. "We call it profiling."

"Interesting." The woman stared at Reid for an extra moment or two, obviously impressed. "Are you going to enforce curfews or extra police presence?" She held the microphone out to both of them.

Reid took in a deep breath, "First we have to take a look at the case and then, from that, we'll come up with a plan to keep the citizens as safe as we possibly can." He gave an awkward half-smile to the camera.

"If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us here." Emily handed the reporter a card and then walked away with Reid falling in step beside her.

"You really gave them your card? Don't you think that's a dangerous idea?" Reid eyed her with a critical, skeptical look

Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes, "I gave them the number for the FBI tip-line." She smiled a little bit. "You know, for a genius sometimes you lack some common sense." She teased, lightening his mood considerably.

"What I lack in common sense, I make up for in memorized encyclopedias." Reid returned, grinning widely.

They laughed and joined the rest of the team outside the SUVs. The press had left on their own, for once they had actually been satisfied with the information they had given out. It was probably just because they were the first to actually know about the FBI coming at all so they wanted to jump on the story as soon as possible, which was a good thing for them.

"Well, it's midnight now so I guess we'll just head back to the hotel and get a fresh start tomorrow. We're short one room so Emily and JJ, do you mind sharing a room?" Hotch asked them hopefully. Women were more compatible to sharing than men.

JJ looked over at Emily and smiled a little bit, "Sure." She answered for both of them.

"Good, good. Alright. Everyone, get some rest. We're meeting in the lobby at 7:30 so don't be late. Good night." Hotch and Rossi got in one of the SUVs while Morgan, Emily, JJ and Reid all piled in the second one.

JJ and Reid were in the front with Morgan and Emily in the back. All 10 minutes of the ride were silent, probably because they had just drifted through a sea of yelling reporters so it was nice to have some peace and quiet for those precious minutes. They reached the hotel and then got all of their bags out of the bag.

Morgan let out a long, heavy sigh as they walked into the hotel and started checking in.

"What's wrong?" JJ looked over at him.

"Hmmm?"

She rolled her eyes, "What's wrong?"

He shrugged, "Just not looking forward to this case…that's all." He admitted.

"What? You weren't one of those drama guys in high school?" JJ teased lightly with a small smile on her face.

Morgan gave her an incredulous look, "I was too busy with track and football. Drama was definitely not on my list of things." He looked her up and down, "I could see you being one of those drama girls though."

"Maybe I was." JJ shrugged, walking away from him and towards the elevator with her bag rolling behind her.

Emily, Morgan and Reid all exchanged a look.

They caught up with her in the elevator. As it started traveling up, it was silent again, until…

"Were you in a play?"

A smile reached JJ's lips, "Maybe."

"Wow, so mysterious. I'll bet that you were." Morgan looked at her, "Were you Sandy in Grease? I could see that, oh I can totally see that JJ!" He exclaimed, almost too excitedly.

"I can't sing!" JJ rolled her eyes.

"What do I have to do to get you to tell me what play you were in? I'll do anything!" Morgan desperately wanted to know what else he could hold over his blonde colleagues head.

JJ shook her head, "I'll never tell."

"Oh come on, Jayje! I don't know anything about you, just this once give me a little something to hold me off. Please…" Morgan looked at her sweetly. He hoped that maybe that would make her want to tell him about her drama career.

"Maybe I should just write an autobiography for all of you guys since you're soo interested in my personal life…" JJ rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. She heard Emily let out a snort behind her. This elevator was taking an extraordinarily long time to travel up.

"The Life and Times of Jennifer Jareau." Emily smirked, "You know…that sounds like something that could be on the New York Times Best Seller List, doesn't it?" She looked at Reid for some sort of confirmation.

"It sure does." Reid gave JJ a quirky smile.

That little bit of joking was well-needed for the whole team. It helped cleanse the tension that they felt with this case, a tension that always came whenever they were on a case that had a time limit.

Because time was expendable and the quicker that it came, the easier it was to lose.

JJ and Reid were walking down the hallway together, heading towards their rooms. She was sharing one with Emily while Reid had his own. Whenever someone had to share a room in hotels, it was usually Emily and JJ because they were that close of friends. Sometime thought, Reid and Morgan would take their turn.

"Is Emily already in bed?" Reid asked suddenly, randomly.

JJ looked over at him, her eyes full of exhaust. She blinked slowly, like her eyes were too tired to re-open each time. "Umm…" Her voice was a little hoarse and just as drained as her eyes seemed to be, "I think so, why?"

Reid shrugged and closed his eyes for a moment as he walked before quickly re-opening them, "I just wanted to talk, but Emily will probably wait up for you, so… I guess it can wait." He smiled a little bit, casually.

"No, what did you want to talk about?" She pushed.

Reid smiled a little bit more, "Okay…you caught me." He muttered sending a shy glance at the ground, "I don't need to talk. I just wanted to be in the same room as you, for a little while." She detected some nervousness in his voice which made her smile.

"Just for a little while?" JJ glanced at her room before turning her back to it and facing him. "I don't think she'll notice." She waited for him to use the room card and open the door before she entered it with him. After setting their stuff down, they both immediately went to the bed.

Reid laid down first and she settled comfortably in the spot next to him, fitting perfectly underneath his arm. She laid her head down on his chest while wrapping her arm around his stomach. He wrapped his own arm around her waist so that they were as close together as possible. It was so comfy, so peaceful, so dark. She was asleep within a few minutes and so was Reid.

It was 1:30 in the morning when JJ actually woke up. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. Within a few minutes she was up and out of the room with all of her stuff. All she had to do was walk across the hall and use her room key to get into the room that she was sharing with Emily.

It was silent in their room except for the humming of the air conditioner.

JJ tiptoed across the room, setting her bag down and unzipping it slowly. She pulled out some comfortable clothes to sleep in and easily put them on in the solid darkness. Just as she pulled the shirt up and over her head the lights were turned on.

Emily was rubbing her eyes, standing on the other side of the room by the light switch. "What the hell? Where have you been, JJ?" She yawned loudly at the end of her sentence.

JJ rolled her eyes and started going through her bathroom routine, "What are you? My mother?" She smirked a bit as she started washing her face. "I was in Reid's room…he was little bit freaked about something so I stayed and talked to him for a little while."

"It's 1:30. That's not a little while."

"You didn't let me finish. I fell asleep on the couch and I guess he either just didn't wake me up or he fell asleep too, something happened, but I literally just woke up and came back over here. Is that a good enough story for you?" JJ said with a sarcastic edge.

Emily shrugged.

"I know you were hoping for something juicier…"

Emily nodded tiredly, "I thought you were gonna say that you were with Hotch." She smiled seductively and winked at JJ. "But then again, if you really were with Hotch, would you tell me? I don't think so…"

"Why is it always Hotch?" JJ muttered to herself, too low for Emily to hear her. She turned the bathroom light off and climbed in her bed. "Goodnight Em." She said softly as she felt the darkness start to engulf her.

She wasn't sure if she was falling asleep or if it was just Emily turning off the lights.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for such a short update, but I'm already working on the next chapter so this is just to hold you off for a week or so before the next one. I hope you like this one! Please review!


	13. Unthinkable

"I need coffee." Emily muttered grumpily as they entered the police station at 6:30 in the morning. The whole team was supposed to come in early and start reviewing the case to get most of the profile ready by the end of the day.

JJ scanned the station until she spotted the coffee machine, "There it is. I'll go get us cups, you take it black right?" She looked back at Emily and started walking in the direction of the machine.

Emily nodded and closed her eyes, "Oh Jayje. How could I ever survive without you?"

"You couldn't." She said over her shoulder as she made her way up the stairs. As she started filling up the cups, she heard Morgan enter and start flirting with Emily. Before she could turn around and look, she heard a voice come from behind her.

"Morning Jayje." It was Reid. He walked up beside her and started to prepare his own coffee.

JJ turned to look at him with a small smile on her face, "Good morning Spence." She tried to keep her voice normal even though it seemed to come out seductive no matter what she did, "How'd you sleep?"

"I slept pretty well considering that it was a hotel bed, but it doesn't mean that I don't need coffee." Reid replied, a tired smile on his face.

JJ nodded with a small laugh, "I have no idea what I'd do without coffee. And you should have seen Emily a few minutes, she looked like she was going to die if she didn't-"

"JJ?" A voice said from behind them.

They both turned around to see a man standing there behind them. He was wearing an expensive-looking suit and had smooth brown hair that was cut short above his ears. His eyes were a deep green and he had a cheerful smile on his face, much too cheerful for this time in the morning.

JJ immediately recognized him and her eyes lit up, "Michael? What are you doing here?" She stepped over and embraced him in a hug.

The man, Michael, hugged her back before pulling away. "I moved out here after my job in Pittsburgh. I have some relatives out here so I stayed with them until I could finally get a job at a police station, this police station to be exact."

JJ nodded and gave him a smile, "That's so great. I just can't believe we just happened to be seeing each other again...it's been so long."

"Yea, the last time that I saw you…I remember you being a reporter/journalist only, you were always annoyingly perky, and if I am thinking about the Jennifer Jareau that I knew, and I am, I'm pretty sure that she had bangs." Michael raised his eyebrow.

"Yes. I did and then I grew them out…and then I got bangs again." JJ shook her head.

"I'm a sucker for bangs." Michael joked, "But what I really want to talk about is how you're an FBI agent now! I can't believe how much you've changed, it's amazing. And I heard you were a profiler now too, even better. It's great that you and your team are here, we really need your help."

JJ nodded and backed up so that Reid was standing with them, "Speaking of my team…this is Dr. Reid, our resident genius. Reid, this is Michael Trusdale. I know him from one of the first places that I worked back in Pittsburgh."

"It's great to meet you, Dr. Reid." Michael held out his hand, but quickly pulled it back when Reid gave him a small wave instead.

"The same to you Officer Trusdale." He smiled.

Michael nodded, flashing his teeth at both of them again. "Well, I have to go and talk to some of the other officers, but I'm sure I'll probably see you two around later." He touched JJ's arm and squeezed it before walking away.

"You two worked together?" Reid asked as they walked down towards their co-workers.

JJ nodded, "Yep. He was one of the few police officers, well...people in general that would actually talk to me. You'd be surprised how hard the life of a reporter is." She muttered the last part.

"You didn't…?" He trailed off.

JJ smirked and shook her head, "No. I didn't, but it's cute of you to ask."

Reid chuckled a little bit, but didn't say anything else because they had reached Emily and Morgan, who were waiting down by some of the desks.

"Hey, what took you so long?" Emily asked greedily, taking her coffee from JJ.

JJ rolled her eyes, "I found out that one of my old work friends is actually an officer here."

"Oh the cute one that you were talking to?" Emily asked, only to receive an elbow jab from Morgan. "Hey! I'm just trying to set JJ up here and he was cute, that's all I'm saying."

JJ shook her head, "Thanks Em, but I'm okay. _I_, unlike _some people_, don't need a guy to be happy." She gave Morgan and Emily a playful stare before catching a look from Hotch as he walked past them. "I'll see you guys later." She fell in step with Hotch.

He started talking instantly, "They found another body Natalie Trent. She wasn't even reported missing. A farmer found her in his barn when he went to check on his horses. She was staged, with make-up on, and a nice expensive dress on. I want you, Reid, Emily and Morgan to go down there. It's a big farm, but I just want you to check it out. A couple officers are going to show you the way there." He explained quickly, obviously in a rush.

"And what are you and Rossi going to be doing?" JJ asked, curiously.

Hotch glanced at her, "We're going to the other dumpsites. I want everyone to meet back up here at…" He looked down at his watch, "2:30. It's 12:00 now."

JJ nodded, "Alright. I'll see you at 2:30." She turned and walked back down to where her friends were teasing each other again. "Hey, there's been another victim. Hotch wants us to go check the dump site with some officers."

Morgan's expression became serious, "Another victim?"

"Natalie Trent. She wasn't reported missing." JJ let out a small sigh before nodding at them, "We're leaving once all of the officers get ready because they have to lead us there." She walked outside with her hands deep in her pockets. It was colder than she had packed for, she could see her own breath when she walked outside and the pencil skirt that she had on was definitely not keeping her body heat in.

"You okay?" Reid asked, coming up beside her.

JJ nodded half-heartedly and shrugged, "Yeah. I'm okay, I just hate it when no one even reports them missing. It's like they don't even matter…" She shook her head, "It's not right."

Before Reid could reply, another voice came out from behind them. "You're right it isn't." Michael said, his hands in his pockets. "But that's why we're here right?"

"Yeah." Another sigh escaped her mouth.

Michael shook his head, "Hey. Don't be like that. What happened to the 'always smiling and too perky JJ' that I used to know?" He chuckled.

She smiled a little, "I joined the FBI."

Reid felt a little awkward, almost like he wasn't supposed to be in their conversation. He bit his lip, stayed quiet and couldn't help feeling a little bit jealous.

Michael rolled his eyes, "Why don't you ride up with me? I'm sure I can get you to smile a few more times before we get there and if you ask me, that's just what you need." He gave her a crooked smile.

JJ glanced back at Reid, "I don't know. I think I should ride with my-"

"No you don't! You're riding with me. C'mon, my car's over here." Michael started walking through the parking lot.

JJ turned back to Reid, "I think I'm gonna ride with Michael. Can you tell Morgan and Emily for me? I'll see you there, okay?" She reached up and ruffled his hair playfully before walking after Michael who was waiting by his car, holding the door for her.

Reid let out a sigh and walked over to the SUV, "JJ's riding up with Officer Charming." He told Emily and Morgan a little too bitterly than he should have.

Neither of them seemed to notice, "As long as we get there I'm fine with it. We aren't the boss of her, Reid. No matter how much we want to be." He laughed a little before pulling out and starting to follow the police car.

Reid didn't remember much of the drive because it most of the scenery seemed the same. Endless pine trees, grassy areas, and an overcast sky. There wasn't much to look at so naturally, he lost himself in his thoughts, most of which about JJ and Michael. He was suspicious. How long had they known each other? He was definitely charming and handsome…among other things.

It bothered Reid how much they seemed to get along even after all this time and no matter how much he tried to ignore it, he kept feeling a small twinge of jealousy.

Luckily, arriving at the dumpsite provided a small distraction. He started to focus on the case, victimology, patterns and the profile in general. He followed Morgan and Emily towards the group of officers that were gathering outside the house.

"Alright!" Morgan spoke up, "Everyone should search the grounds for any type of evidence that the CSU may have missed. Agents Prentiss, Reid and I will look through the house and then move on to the barn."

All of the officers nodded.

Reid searched the crowd. At first he didn't see JJ, but then he noticed them walking up from their car.

"So you guys are taking the house?" JJ nodded, "Okay well I can start looking through the barn with some officers."

Emily nodded, "Okay we'll catch up with you later."

Reid watched her go, walking alongside Officer Trusdale. He would have accompanied her if he didn't think that it would have been awkward. So he decided to start looking through the house for any kind of evidence. He wasn't sure why they were looking in the house at all because the body had been found in the barn, but maybe they thought that the farmer was a suspect. After going over that possibility for a few moments Reid concluded that it was very unlikely, but he continued looking through the house anyway.

He followed behind Morgan and Emily as they casually made their way through the house and down into the cellar. It smelled terrible down there, it obviously had been used in months and was in serious need of some renovations.

The ground underneath him became muddy, but it didn't matter that much because he could see Morgan opening the cellar doors on the other side of the room. Light streamed in from the outside and he followed Morgan and Emily out.

From where the cellar opened out, they could see the barn. It was further away from the house than they had anticipated. There were officers scattered all around the building, searching the outside and Reid noticed that JJ and Officer Trusdale weren't among them. They were probably looking on the inside.

"Maybe we should start heading down there." Morgan muttered, receiving a confirming nod from Emily. They both started walking and Reid followed, once again feeling like the third wheel. He stared down at his feet only to see that his shoes were covered in mud. He wanted to sigh, but held back so that they wouldn't ask him what was wrong. He really didn't want to talk.

The only sounds were their footsteps in the grass and the sound of all of the officers talking in the distance. It was almost peaceful, until he remembered that inside of that barn was the body of a young girl. He shook his head, wondering how he could have even thought that it was peaceful place. Someone had died here, or at least been dumped here. It wasn't peaceful anymore.

In the midst of his thoughts, Reid heard Morgan say something. He didn't quite make it out, but both Emily and Morgan stopped in front of him in silence. He was instantly confused, "What's wrong? Why are we-"

Morgan shot him a glare, "Shh! Listen."

Seconds passed in silence, none of them hearing anything.

Emily gave Morgan a weird look, "I don't hear anything Derek. I'm not sure what you thought you heard, but obviously it's gone now." She muttered, starting to walk again.

"What did you hear?" Reid asked, falling in step beside Morgan.

Morgan shook his head, eyebrows creased. "I don't know. It was weird because we're still pretty far away from the barn and it was like I heard…"He frowned, trailing off.

Reid was about to press with more questions until he was interrupted.

"Help! Help! We need help inside the barn!" It was JJ's voice, but it was barely audible because it was coming from inside of the barn.

Morgan took off running almost immediately, that had probably been the noise that he had heard earlier.

Reid was on his heels with Emily following.

The officers that had been looking around outside the barn all scrambled to get inside, but none of them got in before a gunshot rang out from the inside. Almost every single one of the officers froze.

Before any of them could even think about reacting, the unthinkable happened. In front of them, the wooden walls of the barn were blown apart with the extreme force that could only come from one thing…

A bomb.


	14. Devastation

First came the fire. It cascaded out of the building like a wall, but then evaporated just as quickly as it surfaced. The sound came after. To say that it was loud would be an understatement. Last, the force. It was invisible, but terrifyingly strong. All of the officers were blown away from the barn and Morgan, Reid and Emily, who had gotten considerably closer since they had started running, were also propelled backwards.

Reid hit the ground hard and blacked out for a few seconds at the most before blinking awake and hearing the chillingly familiar ringing in his ears. The first thing that came to his mind was JJ. She had been inside that building, the one that had blown up and now only had two of the four original walls still standing. There was debris everywhere and he could only see a few of the officers who had been standing outside the door actually getting up.

He was on his feet in seconds and flying towards the barn. He heard Morgan's tired voice calling him back, but he didn't listen. There was no way anything was going to stop him from at least trying to find JJ.

The debris was crazy, it was piled up in awkward, extremely difficult ways so it was taking him a lot longer to run through it than he would have planned, but he wasn't about to give up. He kept going and soon enough he heard the sound of clattering wood behind him which meant that Morgan and Emily were following.

As they got closer to where the blast actually went off the soot started to get really bad, just from crawling through debris it was all over Reid's arms and legs. But at least now he knew that he was in the place where the original barn had been standing only minutes earlier.

He scanned over the area, but didn't spot anyone. "Start looking!" He ordered desperately, starting to sort through the debris.

He was digging through a very large pile in particular when a smaller pile a few feet away from him began to shift. He peered underneath it and found exactly what he had been looking for: JJ. She was struggling to get out from underneath the rubble.

"Over here!" He yelled, pulling on the wood that was on top of her. It wasn't exactly heavy so he was sure that she shouldn't be too hurt from that falling on top of her, but there were thin slabs of wood wedged underneath other pieces that made it hard to get off. Once he had Morgan and Emily helping him, it was easier. Within a minute or two, JJ was completely uncovered.

The first thing that Reid noticed was how dirty she was. Her skin was almost covered in soot, it hadn't stuck very well to her clothes or in her hair, but it had settled on her skin making her appear extremely dirty. He could also see that her head was bleeding in two places, a small cut in the front on her forehead and a larger one on the back. He was worried that she might have sustained another concussion, he would be surprised if she hadn't.

Before any of them had a chance to ask her if she was okay, she pushed herself up with her shaking arms and got her feet. Without even thanking them or acknowledging them in any way, she ran off through the debris.

"JJ!" Reid exclaimed, climbing after her.

He could hear her mumbling something to herself, but was too far away to make out what it was. And surprisingly she was easily making it through the debris by just climbing up and over the piles rather than trying to move all of the stuff out of her way. After a few minutes of following her, she started crawling on all fours looking through one pile of debris specifically.

As he got closer, he could finally hear what she was saying. It was something like, "No. Not him, not this time. Please, please don't take him. No, no, please. It's too early, please let him be alive, please let him be alive."

Finally when he was standing right behind her he saw why she was digging there. Underneath a couple slabs of wood was Michael, eyes closed, unmoving.

JJ ran her hand along his face, "I'll get you out. I'll get you out of here Michael, you're gonna be fine. I promise that you're gonna be fine, okay? You are not going to die. Not today, not here." She spoke with more determination, more fierceness.

Reid helped her pull off the pieces of wood until his body was fully uncovered. He could already tell that Michael was gone, he had probably been standing too close to the bomb, but he still tested his pulse anyway when he felt JJ's eyes on him.

"JJ…" He started, "I'm sorry…"

JJ closed her eyes, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. She gripped Michael's shirt tightly in her fists. She looked up at Reid, tears in her eyes.

Reid gulped. He knew that he had to say it. She wouldn't accept it unless he said it out loud, "Michael is dead."

She shook her head, "No you're wrong. You're wrong! He's not dead. Not him! No. This isn't right! This shouldn't have happened! No! Bad things don't happen to good people! NO!" She shook the body, "Wake up! Please, wake up! Get up, Michael! Get up!"

Reid closed his eyes, "Stop it."

But JJ didn't stop. She kept trying to wake him up, kept pleading for him to get up or to open his eyes. She was screaming down at a body that was forever stilled.

Reid tugged on her arm, trying to get her to stop. "Jayje, c'mon. Stop." He commanded softly, gently.

She yanked her arm out of his grasp, "He's not dead! He can't be!"

"He's dead, Jayje!" He said, knowing it was harsh, but she had to hear it. "You have to stop! Nothing will bring him back, okay? He's gone for good." He grabbed her around the waist and started to pull her up off of the ground.

"No! NO! Let go of me! Let me go!" She yelled, struggling fiercely to get back to the body…and when that didn't work she turned around and started to fight Reid head on, punching his chest. She struggled and struggled in his arms, punching his chest over and over again until all of her energy was gone and she just melted into his arms, crying harder than he'd ever heard her cry.

"I watched him die." She whispered, eyes haunted by the image. "I watched him blow up, I saw…the whole thing." She gulped.

Reid rubbed her back, soothingly.

JJ wiped away her tears, but more kept flowing. "I could have saved him…I tried to, but I wasn't fast enough. It should have been me, I should be the one lying dead in that pile." She cried.

Reid shook his head, "Don't say that…everything happens for a reason, right?"

"I used to believe that." She breathed, "But I don't think I do anymore."

And after that, she didn't say anything, only cried. It seemed like the tears would never stop and he wondered why she was so emotional. He knew that Michael and JJ had been friends, but they'd all lost friends…he couldn't quite wrap his brain around why she was so sad about him in particular, but Reid still vowed to be there for her.

Morgan and Emily joined them later, neither of them saying anything as they approached.

They all just took a moment to honor that policeman and try desperately to ignore the sound of the strongest woman they knew crying her eyes out.

They all sat there until her tears stopped which felt like hours later. After that, she just looked tired and extremely depressed.

"Should we go to the hospital?" Morgan suggested, breaking the silence that had been held for at least an hour on end.

Emily nodded and so did Reid.

"Hey, Jayje. We need to take you to the hospital to get checked out, okay?" Reid asked her as gently as he could, but he wasn't even sure if she was listening.

A couple seconds passed before he saw her give the slightest shake of the head, she didn't want to leave and he didn't blame her, but she needed to get checked out.

"We have to make sure you aren't hurt." Reid moved her hair out of her face, "They'll be moving him there too."

JJ looked over her shoulder at Michael's body before staring down at the ground for a few more seconds and then nodding ever so slightly to tell him yes.

Reid nodded and gave Emily and Morgan a nod of confirmation. They both started walking away and Reid picked JJ up, carrying her carefully while she clung to him, arms around his neck.

The walk to the car seemed shorter on the way back, but there was a minor set-back when they passed Michael's car. It made the tears start to flow from JJ's eyes again, but they still managed to get her in the SUV.

Morgan and Emily sat in the front while Reid sat in the back with JJ leaned up against him, still crying. He had his arm around her, pulling her close. He used his other hand to gently move her hair out of her face whenever it fell.

Her eyes were puffy and swollen already from all the crying. She also had clear tear stains on her cheeks.

No one said anything on the ride down to the hospital. The drive dragged on and on for what felt like hours.

But finally, the hospital came into view and Morgan let out a sigh of relief. They all got out of the car, Reid carrying JJ, and walked into the hospital together. When they walked in, the waiting room was crowded with people…probably family members of the officers that were hurt. After started to walk through and getting sympathetic looks from most of the people, a doctor walked up to them with a stretcher.

"Is she one of the bomb victims?" He asked quickly.

Reid nodded, "She's also had previous concussions and head problems."

"Do you know how close she was to the blast?"

Reid didn't know why this was relevant, but he answered anyway. "She was pretty close. I would say 200 feet away at least." He answered, "Can I ask why?"

The doctor looked up, "We were informed by bomb technicians that the explosion was caused by gasoline and we have a lot of pure oxygen in tanks, even the smallest spark could cause a fire and then fire coming into contact with pure oxygen…I think you know how bad that would be, you look like a smart guy. So we have to wash her off before taking her to the main floor."

Reid blinked a few times. A gasoline explosion? How could he have missed that? He didn't smell any gas while they were there or in the car, but after the doctor had mentioned something, he noticed just how present the smell was. It was all over JJ and his arms, he would have to remember to wash his arms later.

He looked up when they started to wheel JJ away. She was lying still on the stretcher with a glazed look in her eyes. He turned back towards Morgan and Emily, letting out a long sigh.

"You okay, man?" Morgan asked.

Reid gave him a dismissive nod, walking towards one of the open seats. But the moment that he sat down, a woman walked up to him. He thought she looked a little bit familiar, but wasn't completely sure.

"Excuse me." She started, "That woman that you just carried in. Was that Jennifer Jareau?"

He nodded, confused. "Yes, why?"

She shook her head and sat down in the seat next to him, "I'm Lindsay Trusdale, Michael's mother. He used to best friends with her and he told me that she was here on a case, but then this happened. No one is telling me anything. I haven't seen Michael yet, but is Jennifer okay?"

Reid closed his eyes for a moment. He had to tell her, someone had to. "She'll be okay." He bit his lip, "Umm…Miss Trusdale. I-well, Agent Jareau and Officer Trusdale-"

"Michael." She had a friendly smile on her face.

Reid didn't want to do it. He didn't want to be the person that tore her apart, but…someone had to. And he would rather it be him than the Coroner. "Agent Jareau and…Michael were together…when it happened. There was a gunshot and she screamed, but before we could get in there the barn exploded. Agent Jareau had been far enough away from it to survive, but as for Michael…" He paused, "We believe that he had been standing too close to the bomb and was blown into a wall or some debris. They found his body on the scene."

Her smile dropped into a frown and her eyebrows creased, "What are you saying?"

"Miss Trusdale, your son is dead." Reid spoke slowly to let it sink in for her.

She gulped and shook her head, "N-no. Please God, no."

He watched as the tears poured out of her eyes, much like they did JJ's. He also noticed that she didn't have a husband with her…she didn't have anyone so he grabbed her and squeezed it as she cried.

Soon enough, after she had finished crying and sat in a stony silence, an officer walked into the waiting room. He made his way up to Miss Trusdale and held out an American flag with Michael's badge lying on top of it.

She reached out and took it in her own hands, sobbing into it.

And after that, an amazing thing happened. Much like a family members, two of the officers that had either been in the house or had been unharmed by the bomb, came over put their arms around her and started comforting her.

Reid stood up and moved out of his seat so that the officers could sit down on either side of her. He gave her one last nod before walking over to where Morgan and Emily were sitting on the other side of the room.

Morgan was on the phone, but Emily's eyes were behind Reid, on Miss Trusdale. She had a gloomy expression on her face. As Reid approached, she lifted her eyes to look up at him.

Without disturbing Morgan's phone call she spoke, "I saw what you did over there. You did the right thing, she needed to know." She took a pause, "Are you okay?"

At first, Reid didn't say anything. He couldn't get one question out of his mind. It was starting to bother him, but he wasn't sure why. "Why do you think she cried so hard about him?"

Emily's head snapped over to him, "Are you really asking that?" Her eyes narrowed, "She watched him die, Reid. I mean, sure, we've all seen people die, but this guy was one of her closest friends from college or something. It would be like me watching you die. It would be some of the worst moments of my life and these were probably the worst moments of hers. And you need to be there for her now instead of asking stupid questions."

Reid's head dropped, staring at the ground. He felt like a kid being scolded by an angry parent, but he knew that she was right. He was being shallow and jealous when he should be more concerned and supportive.

"I'm right, aren't I?" She wasn't even looking at him anymore, she had a magazine in her hands.

He nodded slowly, "Yes."

And in the moment, Morgan also finished his call on the phone. He muttered something about the rest of the team being on their way soon. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, resting his head against the wall behind them.

After that, for the next 20 minutes or so, none of them said a word. They were all engulfed in the thoughts and worries for their friend and her condition, not even so much physical condition, more like mental.

But eventually it was interrupted by the arrival of Rossi and Hotch whose expressions looked just as worried as they all felt.

"Have you heard anything?" Was the first thing that Hotch asked.

Morgan shook his head, "There are too many victims I guess. She didn't look too bad though, probably just some minor injuries." He muttered.

Hotch nodded and then he and Rossi both took a seat in the available seats next to Reid. Out of the corner of his eye, Reid saw Rossi's hands folded in his lap and noticed that his eyes were closed. And then it occurred to Reid that he might very well be praying, not only for JJ, but for all of the victims of the bomb.

Reid tried to forget about the fact that he wasn't much of a religious guy and that praying now would be like using religion only when he really needed it, instead of being completely committed, because he wanted to pray.

Because it somehow comforted him to think that someone was listening, even if there was no proof or science involved.

He prayed for JJ to be okay.

He prayed for all of the officers that had been hurt in the bombing and their families.

He prayed for Miss Trusdale, that maybe someday she would be able to come to terms with the death of her son.

And lastly, he prayed for Michael. That he'd had a good, prolonged life and a quick, painless death.

_Amen. _

He finished just in time. The moment that he opened his eyes, he noticed a doctor approaching them. "Agent Jareau?"

Reid recognized that doctor from earlier. It was the one that had explained the gasoline situation to them. He stood up so that he was face to face with him, "Yes."

He noticed the rest of the team get to their feet after him.

The doctor backed up a little bit so that he could see all of them, "Agent Jareau wasn't hurt too bad. She had two wounds to her head and also a large gash on her leg, which we had to clean out because it was covered in soot and dirt. And she also sustained another concussion, which put a lot of pressure on her brain. That adding to the pressure of the trauma and state that she was already in when she got here, caused her to become hysterical. She wouldn't let us touch her or help her in any way so I'm afraid we had to strap her to the bed. We would have used sedation, but we can't afford to use the drugs on patients that aren't critical."

Reid was shocked, "You…strapped her down?"

The doctor looked embarrassed, "I'm sorry that we had to do that. She was completely reckless; screaming, crying and hitting the doctors that were trying to help her. We might have to check her into the psychiatric ward if she doesn't calm down soon." He admitted.

"So you can strap her into a strait jacket and lock her into a cushioned room?" Reid muttered sarcastically, he was not okay with what was going on.

The doctor didn't laugh or even crack a smile, "Hospitals don't practice that type of treatment anymore, Dr. Reid. And frankly, you don't know her case. If we agree psychiatrics are what she needs, then that's where she'll go."

Hotch sent Reid a sideways glance, "Can we see her?"

The doctor considered this, "Yes. You can visit her, but I'm warning you. You'll want to prepare yourselves before you go in because she's in a hysterical, panic-stricken state that you won't recognize. She's not thinking straight and may not even talk at all, just be careful. Setting her off might be the worst thing you could do right now."

Most of the team nodded, except Reid. He was barely paying attention. He understood that JJ was vulnerable and acting crazy, but that wouldn't stop him from seeing her.

He knew that he had to see her and make sure that she was, in fact, okay. But he also wasn't completely sure what he was going to see behind that ominous, wooden door.


	15. Remember

_"I knew that you wouldn't be able to separate from me. Any woman who has a little taste of Michael can't get enough." Michael gave her a crooked smile, "And I think we both know that you used to have a little bit of a crush on me…back in the day." He chuckled a little bit. _

_JJ gave him a defensive look, "Actually…if we're bringing up the past and __**I **__am remembering correctly, __**you**__ were the one who had a crush on __**me. **__You used to buy me coffee and pretend that you needed something from me when you came down to the station, but you didn't. I saw right through you, buddy."_

_"Maybe I just thought you looked tired…and lonely…" He suggested, but when she shook her head, he smiled. "Fine...I may have had a little crush on you, but at least I hit on you with class. It always got under my skin when other guys would just do it out in the open…like that one guy, what was his name? He used the worst pick-up lines ever. And he never stopped trying either!"_

_JJ nodded knowingly, "Peter."_

_"Peter! Oh yeah…" Michael laughed, "I wish I remembered some of those god-awful pick-up lines."_

_JJ looked up at the sky, trying to remember some of the things that he had said. "Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine." She smiled. _

_Michael laughed, "Oh wait. I got one!" He smoothed his hair back and started talking in an Italian accent, "Hi, you're so beautiful that I just walked into that wall over there. I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes_..."

_JJ's eyes widened, "You sound just like him!" She smirked, "Listen to this one: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position."_

_Michael's mouth dropped open, "Peter was such a douche. At least when I hit on you, you knew that I was actually trying. And that I actually meant it." He smiled at her._

_JJ grinned, "Speaking of that…I heard that you got married."_

_Michael nodded, pride beaming in his smile. "Yep. My wife is great…and we have two daughters too: Ashley and Marissa. It was hard at first…with my job, but we worked it out eventually." He smiled, "Didn't you get married too? Or have a boyfriend?"_

_"I had a boyfriend and we had a son together, but the work hours from this job…it got too hard and we decided to break it off. I don't know, he was great and sweet…until he wasn't." JJ looked down at the ground as she walked. _

_Michael touched her back comfortingly, "I'm sorry Jayje. He obviously didn't know you if he let you go…because if there's one thing that I know for sure in this world it's that any guy would be lucky to have you."_

_JJ smiled, "Yea I'm with someone else now."_

_"The nerdy guy? Dr. Reid?" Michael guessed almost immediately. _

_She gave him a weird look, "Ummm…what? H-how did you…?" _

_Michael shook his head, "I saw the way he looked at you. It was the way that I used to look at you and the way that I look at my wife now. I also noticed the way he looked at me when I was talking to you. He's definitely protective…I respect that. I think you've got yourself a good one, JJ."_

_"Me too." She said, just as they reached the barn. _

_He pulled out the flashlight that he had clipped to his belt, "I'll go in first. You follow."_

_"Because I'm a woman?" She rolled her eyes. _

_He glanced back at her, "Because I don't know what it's going to look like…it might be the grossest crime scene you've ever seen."_

_"I doubt that."_

_He snorted and pushed the door of the barn open. It was dark inside, but with the power of the flashlight…it lit up considerably. The body was lying in the middle of the floor, blood spread all around it. It was pretty gross, but not the worst that JJ had ever seen. Ironically, the worst one that she could remember had also been inside a barn. _

_As they walked further inside, the large door swung shut behind them, making it even darker than before. _

_"How cliché." She heard Michael mutter. It brought a small smile to her face. _

_They walked towards the mangled body as slowly as possible, neither of them really wanted to get much closer to it. _

_JJ felt odd, a chill went down her spine. She felt like she was being watched…for some weird reason. Just to make sure, she turned around and looked over her shoulder. Luckily, to her relief, there was no one there. _

_But as they got even closer to the body, she thought she heard footsteps. It was weird, they sounded strangely clear, even thought she was almost sure that it was all in her head again. This time when she turned around to look over her shoulder, there actually was someone there. _

_A small man, he was short and chubby with a large smile on his face. His eyes were a light shade of grey that shined through the darkness, only to meet JJ's eyes. They shared a look before the man started walking towards her. And she didn't even have the chance to warn Michael before the man reached her and held the gun to the side of her head. _

_Michael, hearing the shuffling of footsteps, whipped around and shined the flashlight at them. He looked genuinely surprised to see the man standing there. _

_The sudden light gave JJ the chance to look at her captor. He had short brown hair and short, stubby legs. His large stomach was pressed against JJ's back and he was wearing one of the light beige officer's uniforms that all of the officers were wearing. The name tag read: Larry Overson, but she doubted that was his name. He had a maniacal grin on his face. _

_Michael's free hand moved to the gun on his belt. _

_"No." The man said firmly, his voice was higher than JJ had expected. "Drop your gun on the floor and slide it over to me." He pressed the gun to JJ's head and she felt the cool metal against her temple. _

_Michael made eye contact with JJ. He contemplated his options, but ultimately decided to surrender. He put his gun on the ground and prepared to slide it over to "Larry" when JJ spoke up. _

_"No! Don't give him your gun, Michael. Pick it up, pick it up right now." JJ said, trying to keep her voice as even as possible. _

_"Shut up." Larry hissed in her ear, pressing the gun even harder against her head. _

_Michael's eyes shifted towards her, but he shook his head. "I can't let him kill you." He slid his gun across the ground, over to Larry. _

_"Good boy." Larry taunted, "Now JJ…pick that up for me, will you?" _

_JJ did as she was told and pulled the gun off of the floor. She could still feel his gun pressed into her back so she didn't try anything. He took the second gun out of her hand and slid it into his holster. _

_"What do you want?" JJ asked. _

_Larry chuckled, "I think you know what I want." _

_She could feel his breath on her neck, "I really don't." She muttered. _

_He whipped her around and brought the butt of his gun down on her forehead. The force of the blow threw her to the ground. _

_Her head was spinning, but she could distantly feel the blood dripping down her face. It was warm against her cold skin. Her vision faded in and out, along with her hearing…Everything around her looked blurry. _

_She saw Michael move towards Larry only to be met by the butt of his gun, much like JJ had. It didn't seem like Michael was as affected by the hit as JJ was thought, he still looked alert. _

_As her vision started to clear up, she saw Larry take the handcuffs out of belt to use them to handcuff Michael to one of the metal pipes on the wall. And when he was finished, he pulled the key out of the same pocket on his belt and threw it out the window. _

_JJ wished that she could have fought him and defended Michael, but with every movement she made, a wave of pain radiated through her head. _

_Her eyes drifted shut and she wanted to keep them that way until she heard Michael's voice. _

_"JJ! JJ, please wake up!" Michael begged, his voice sounding urgent. _

_She slowly opened her eyes only to see a very panicked Michael, standing across the barn from her. He was struggling against his handcuffs. _

_"Oh thank god." Michael muttered, letting out a breath of relief that he had been holding in. "We have to get out of here."_

_At first, JJ wondered why Michael looked so scared, but eventually she smelled it. _

_Smoke. _

_She whipped her head to the left and saw that Larry had started a small fire in the corner that was spreading fast. There was a trail of gasoline that he had poured for the fire to follow. It started in the corner and then moved around the barn towards Michael, where she finally saw the ending: Five man-sized gas tanks._

_Her eyes widened like Michael's and she stood up, "Help! Somebody help us, please!" She screamed as loud as she could, but the fumes of the smoke were becoming too much for her. She coughed for a couple seconds and made her way over to Michael before yelling again, "Help! Help! We need help inside the barn!" _

_No one came to their rescue._

_"Hey what do you think you're doing?" Larry asked, starting to walk towards JJ. There was anger radiating in his chilling grey eyes. _

_JJ's adrenaline started pumping when he started walking towards her. Her hand clenched into a fist as he came closer. She was ready. When he finally reached her, she sprung up and grabbed his gun. It fired one shot into the ceiling of the barn, but luckily after that, she managed to grab the gun from him. The moment she actually pulled it from his grasp, he immediately punched her in the stomach and she was forced to drop the gun. He moved towards where it was lying, but before he could reach it, she picked up a nearby metal rod. With all the strength that she could muster, she brought it down on his head. _

_He fell to the ground and moaned, but she didn't stop. She did __**not**__ want him to get up after that so she just kept hitting him over and over until she reached the fifth or sixth blow and was completely sure that he was either unconscious or dead._

_When she stood back up, she saw the fire moving slowly towards the gas tanks and there was nothing she could do to stop it…or to undo Michael's handcuffs._

_She shook her head, closing her eyes. "No, no…this is not happening." She whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why…? Why him? Why?!" She found herself yelling up at a God that she wasn't sure that she believed in. _

_She was angry…and she had the right to be. _

_Michael was stuck here…directly next to a bomb. He was going to die and that wasn't fair._

_"NO!" She screamed, but it was barely audible over the crackling of the fire and she was thankful for that because she knew that now, she had to compose herself and be with Michael for the last few minutes of his life. _

_Once JJ was sure that she had her emotions in check, she turned around and started walking towards Michael. _

_His intense green eyes met JJ's. He shook his head, "JJ! You need to get out of here! Make sure you get out of here, okay? And when you do…please tell my wife that I loved her and even in my dying moments, I was thinking about her. And tell my daughters that I died like a hero, for them. Tell them that I died brave; make sure that they know that the world is beautiful place, even though bad things happen in it." He said to her as she bent down in front of him._

_"I'm not leaving you." She told him loyally, tears pouring from her eyes. _

_Michael shook his head, tears pouring from his own eyes. He knew what was coming and he didn't want her to suffer the same fate, "Yes you are. I need you to get these messages to my family. You have to leave, okay? For me."_

_JJ nodded slowly, "Okay…I will. I'll tell your family what you said."_

_He nodded. "And I just want you to know that I always believed in you and I always will. You are…amazing JJ, remember that. Remember me, okay? I want you to remember me once I'm gone; remember how we used to laugh and how good life used to be. Remember me…" He pleaded. _

_JJ shook her head. "I'll never forget you, Michael." She cried. _

_And in that moment, his face dripping with sweat, JJ saw something in Michael's eyes._

_Fear. _

_Fear that he would never see his family again. _

_Fear that he hadn't lived as well as he had wanted. _

_Fear that he wouldn't be remembered. _

_Fear of death._

_"Don't be scared, okay?" JJ touched his face with her head, "You are so brave…and I'll never forget you or what happened to you. You are so brave. Don't be afraid… I'm here with you and I'll be here until the very end, alright?"_

_Michael nodded and gulped, "I'm so scared."_

_JJ took her face in between her hands, "Don't be scared…I'm right here."_

_Michael closed his eyes for a few moments and when he re-opened them and looked at the fire, they both knew it was time. "I love you, JJ."_

_"I love you too, Michael." JJ said as she gave him a quick hug and then ran towards the door. When she was half-way there she turned around to look at him only to see the fire burning underneath the large tanks of gas. _

_JJ expected the barn to blow then, but it seemed delayed. She took one last look at Michael, who met her eyes and yelled, "GO!" _

_Before she could even react to his command, the first tank exploded. Not only did it make the fire bigger, it also freed Michael from his handcuffs and set off the next four tanks. _

_JJ watched helplessly as Michael was thrown against the wall and among all of the noises around her, she heard a sickening crack. He fell into some of the rubble and with the next couple of tanks and the blazing fire, the rest of the barn was burned down within seconds. _


	16. The Flame

Together as a team, they walked up the stairs to the second floor. All around them gurneys were rolling past with injured officers laying on them. In silence, they walked down the hall until her room came into view.

However before they went in, Hotch stopped and turned around to face his team. "I think that we should go in two at time. She's obviously fragile right now and we don't want to make her uncomfortable with all of us walking in there at once, agreed?"

They all nodded and he walked towards the door with Rossi directly behind him. Casting one last look at the team, Rossi walked through the doorway after Hotch.

Reid waited patiently, his hand intertwined with Emily's. He expected Hotch and Rossi to stay in the room with her for at least 10 minutes maybe 15, but within 5 minutes, they both emerged from the room with solemn looks on their faces.

"So?" Morgan asked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Hotch looked more confused than anything, like he wasn't sure how to answer the question. He glanced at Rossi who had the same type of look on his face. He cleared his throat, "She…it's not good. We tried to talk to her, but she's…she didn't…" He struggled.

"What?" Reid asked.

"She told us to get out and not to send anyone else in." Hotch told them.

Reid shook his head in disbelief, but when he looked at Rossi for confirmation, they older man nodded. "No…" he said, "No I have to go in and see her. She'll want to see me. I know she will."

"And she won't want to see us?" Morgan retorted.

Reid didn't even look at him, he kept his eyes on Hotch. "I need to see her."

"She doesn't want anyone going in, Reid."

Reid shook his head again, "Please just let me go in. I think I can get through to her…I feel like maybe she'll listen to me or at least I'll provide some comfort."

"And why do you think she'll listen to you rather than us?" Morgan asked, offended again by Reid's comment.

"I don't. I just need to see her, don't you get that? _I need to see her." _Reid repeated, hoping that maybe that would be enough to convince his co-workers.

"Why? Why do you _need_ to see her?" Morgan glared at Reid.

"Because I love her! I'm in love with JJ, don't you get that? I know you all know. You're profilers for god's sakes. I know you know that I'm in love with her so why don't you get this? _I need to see her." _Reid disconnected his hand from Emily's and stared into Morgan's eyes, his gaze cold.

"I-I…" Morgan stuttered, "I thought you guys were just screwing each other…I didn't think you were in love. " He muttered, moving out of Reid's way and re-joining the group.

"Can I go in, Hotch?"

Their unit chief still looked unsure.

"What if it was Hailey? Or Jack?"

Hotch stared at the young agent, "Go…but be careful. She's not herself, Reid."

He nodded quickly, only half-listening. He walked past Hotch and Rossi before pushing the door to her room open and walked inside. The first thing he saw were the restraints. Her wrists were tied to the borders of her bed, holding her arms down and her head was tilted to the side so that her hair was covering her face.

Reid slowly approached her bed, not wanting to scare her. He sat down in the chair by her bed, but didn't say anything. Instead, he just watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. It somewhat comforted him and he wasn't sure why, probably because it was soothing and it meant that she was at least calm for now. Either that or she was asleep. He wasn't sure which.

Almost instantly, his question was answered by the sound of her voice.

It was hoarse and weak, but clear enough for him to hear it perfectly. Two words that stung him more than he would ever let on, "Get out."

"JJ, it's me, Reid." He tried.

Her hair was still covering her face as she spoke, "Leave."

"Please Jayje, let me talk to you. I know you're hurting, but…you have to talk about it. You can't hold it in, okay? I just want you to know that I'm here for you and that I love you. I do. It's so crazy saying this when I've known you so long as just a friend, but it's true. And I want you to know that in my life, I've never loved another person like I love you. You…you're the only one that understands me and I hope that you feel the same way about me. We're a team and I never want to be that close to losing you again…ever." He told her, "So don't feel alone in this…because you're not, okay? You are not alone."

She moved her head so that he could see her face. They had cleaned her up considerably, but there was a large cut on her forehead and a bruise surrounding it that caught his attention first. He was conserned about it, but he felt that this was the wrong time to bring it up.

Her eyes weren't on him. They were glued to the tile floor underneath his feet. "I…I love you too," she met his eyes, "and I know that you're here for me, but right now…I want you to leave."

Reid searched her eyes in the few seconds that she was looking at him. In those blue pools, he saw sadness…so much sorrow and pain. He wished that he could do something to make it all go away, but he knew that the only thing that could do that was time so he just reached out and touched her hand. It moved slightly under his touch, making him feel like if she wasn't tied to the side of the bed, she would have pulled away. He tried not to let it get to him.

"I will." He stood up and let go of her hand. "Bye JJ, feel better." And with that, he left the room.

**6 Weeks Later**

JJ was in the hospital for three weeks with injuries that could have been taken care of in less than a day. The reason that she stayed for so long was because the doctors had thought that she needed to take some time in the psychiatric ward. During that time, she didn't see Reid or the team much, if at all. They visited all the time, but she rarely let anyone in. In the middle of the second week, she loosened up a bit. The treatment had actually helped her get over Michael.

When she was finally released, she took an extra week off to herself and then returned to work. It was shaky at first, but after the first couple of days she got back into her old groove.

Her relationship with Reid had also suffered during the time that she spent in the hospital. Even after she got out, they didn't spend as much time together, but it was getting there. Eventually, she was sure things would be back to normal.

Michael's funeral was put together quickly. Only a few weeks after his death, JJ had received an invitation to the ceremony in the hospital and had also been asked by Michael's mom and wife to speak at the funeral. She didn't want to, she _really _didn't want to, but she felt like she owed it to him.

Writing a eulogy for someone was almost impossible, especially for JJ. She was still getting over him and what happened so every time she sat down and tried to write it, she would spend hours sitting there, but always leave a blank paper.

It seemed like it approached quickly. It was a month away, and then it was three weeks away, then two, then one, until she realized that tomorrow she would be at his funeral and she still hadn't written anything for the eulogy. Just thinking about seeing his family grieving over him made tears slide down her face every time.

That night, she sat down at the desk that she had sat at so many times before and then just started writing. She wrote down everything she remembered about Michael, everything good about him, and everything that she wanted people to remember him about him after he was gone. It was 2:30 in the morning by the time she finished.

And then she just straightened the stack of papers and went up the bedroom. Sleep didn't come easily, actually, it didn't come at all. She just laid there awake in her bed until 4:30 when she suddenly picked up her phone and dialed Reid's number.

It rang 3 or 4 times before he answered. His voice was groggy and hoarse, "Hello? JJ?"

"Spence…" She wiped a tear off her face, "I…I can't do this…"

"Do what?" His voice was more alert this time and she heard some static from him sitting up.

JJ shook her head, "This! I can't…go to that funeral tomorrow. I just can't…I wrote a eulogy, but…it doesn't make sense and I just…I feel…I feel like I'm not the right person to be doing this. I'm…I just…I can't."

More static, "I'm coming over." She heard the clinging of keys and then the slamming of his door.

"No…no…" JJ tried to refuse.

Reid wouldn't back down that easily, "Yes. I'm coming over. I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?" And then he ended the call.

JJ didn't want him to come over. She felt extremely vulnerable and she hated being that way around other people, especially Reid. So when she heard the doorbell ring, she didn't answer it. She just let it ring over and over, along with her phone until she was sure that he'd gone away.

Well, she had been sure, until she heard more noise come from the door before it opened easily to reveal Reid standing on the other side with a key in the lock.

"I know where the spare is…" He explained, setting it down on the counter and shutting the door.

JJ shook her head, "Reid…you don't have to be here. I'm actually feeling a lot better, thanks for coming though…it means a lot."

Reid sighed and sat down on the couch next to her, "I know you're lying. JJ, sometimes you forget that I know you. I know you better than I know myself so I can tell when you're lying. So just tell me what's wrong…"

She hesitated, but the feeling of his eyes burning into her made up her mind. "I just feel like whatever I write won't be good enough for him…"

Reid nodded.

JJ shook her head, staring at the coffee table sitting in front of them. "I keep writing so much stuff, but it just doesn't seem like it's him. It seems boring and that's definitely not what Michael was…he was not boring so this speech shouldn't be…I just can't get it right."

Reid nodded slowly.

JJ looked over at him for a response, but he didn't say anything.

They just sat there in silence until JJ couldn't take it anymore, "Reid…say something, please."

Reid met her eyes, "Anything you write is going to be amazing and Michael would be thrilled just to know that you were speaking at his funeral, no matter what you say. All you have to do is write what you think when you think about Michael. If you do that, then you'll be fine. And you will be fine, JJ. Even if the speech doesn't go as planned, you will be fine."

JJ nodded and smiled, "Thanks…Spence. That's actually really good advice." She stared into his eyes, getting lost in the soft hazel pools that she had looked into so many times before. Without even realizing it, she felt herself start to lean towards him.

Her eyes closed and few seconds later, she felt his soft lips meet hers. The feeling was unforgettable and it lasted for a great length of time too. She scooted closer to him and tilted her head, pressing her body against his. The heat that it created between them was intoxicating, but just as quickly as the feeling came, it was gone as Reid pulled away.

"JJ…" Reid looked down at her, "You're vulnerable right now and I don't want to take advantage of that. Tomorrow is Michael's funeral and that's something you need to handle first, but me…I'll be waiting so when you're ready…we can continue this. Just right now…I think you have bigger things to worry about. I'm sorry."

JJ smiled, "No you're right. This can wait." She kissed him wistfully on the cheek before standing up, "Thanks for the advice Spence. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes…you will." Reid stood up, grabbed his stuff and left.

The next day, JJ was a nervous wreck, but she knew exactly what she was going to say and that comforted her considerably. The first half of the funeral went by quickly with a mass in the church and then everyone was lead outside to a stage that was set up next to Michael's casket. There was a podium on it.

Michael's mom told the first speech, it was short, but heartfelt and meaningful.

Michael's sister gave a speech, mostly about his family and then his police chief gave another speech, mostly about his honor.

Last, it was JJ's turn.

When the police chief finished he added one last thing to introduce JJ, "And there's one last person who would like to say a few words about Michael. Miss Jennifer Jareau." He waited at the podium for her where he gave her a quick handshake before exiting the stage and leaving her to it.

"Hi," She stared nervously as she tried to keep her voice from shaking, "I'm Jennifer Jareau. I was close a friend of Michael's, or I used to be when we worked together at police station after college. We grew apart when he moved, but my team came to town for a case and I got to talk to Michael again for the first time in 10 years. Needless to say, it was a pleasant surprise." Her smile faded and she took on a more solemn look, "I was also with him in the moments that he died, and even in those moments he was bravest person I ever knew. It seems like once someone dies that's when people actually start to admire how they lived, but Michael was different. He knew how to make someone's day and what to say when they were sad and he was the kind of person that you would remember after you finished talking to. If anyone would be good at giving a speech like this, it would have been him." She smiled a little bit and lifted up the papers that she had brought up with her, "As you can all see I have some papers with me, but it's not my speech. This is a stack of 7 sheets total, front and back, filled with things that I admired about Michael, things I remember about him and things that he should be remembered by. He's the only person that I know that could fill 7 sheets, front and back, with good things about him. The reason I brought it up with me is because I want to read the something from the first page, it is a list of five things that I loved about Michael and things about him that I will never forget."

JJ cleared her throat before continuing, "Number five: His optimism. How even on the worst of days, just having a conversation with him would make it better. Number four: His smile and how contagious it was. Number three: How much he loved his family. He was a wonderful husband and father, even with the work hours from his job. He always found a way to be there for them. Number three: His loyalty…" She trailed off without going into an explanation. She figured it was self-explanatory, "Number two: His selflessness…the way that he never put himself before others. He lived by that until the moment he died, which leads me to the number one thing that I will never forget about Michael…how he loved. He loved people, he loved his family, he loved strangers, he loved his job and his country and he just…he loved."

"He was a good man until the moment that he died. He saved my life…in so many ways. That day in the barn, he did, but also today. He saves my life every day because when I think about him and I want to be sad and I want to waste my life asking why it had to be him, I can almost hear him saying, 'No. Live your life and move on. You're sad, sure, that's understandable, but it was my time…mine, not yours. Don't let the end of my life be the end of yours too.' And that's why I get up every morning and do what I do, for people like him. And I want to make sure that no one leaves this funeral sad, he wouldn't want everyone to remember how he lived and be happy. We can't bring Michael back, but we can at least honor his wishes."

JJ paused and took in a deep breath, "Do you know what Michael said to me in his dying moments? He said that he loved his wife. He said that he wanted her to know that even in his last moments, he was thinking about how much he loved her. He wanted me to tell his daughters that they should know that life is beautiful and good, even thought terrible things happen in it. He said he was scared, but he didn't have a reason to be, because if there's one thing I know it's that wherever he is…he's looking down on us and he's happy."

She wiped a tear off her face before lifting her head up and continuing, "Michael died suddenly six weeks ago in a bomb explosion where he selflessly saved my life. A courageous flame has gone out and left us behind in the cold. We have to move on, but we can always return to where that fire once burned and cherish the memory of how bright its light was and the warmth that it gave us."

There was silence when she finished. The people didn't know whether they should laugh or they should cry. As some of them slowly started to clap, Katherine Trusdale rose from her seat, disconnecting her hands from her daughters', and walked up to the podium where JJ was standing.

And, with tears running down her cheeks, she stepped forward and embraced JJ. "Thank you…" She whispered, "Thank you so much."

JJ didn't reply at first, only rubbed the woman's back comfortingly, but when they pulled away, she picked up the 7 pages she'd written from the podium and handed it to Katherine. "I want you to have this."

Katherine took it and shook her head, "You…I'm so grateful that you're here, JJ. Michael told me about you and I could tell that he admired you a lot. I can tell why…that speech you gave was breathtaking and I just want you to know that it meant so much to me to hear what you said and I know it did for my daughters too. So…thank you, thank you so much." She hugged her one last time before returning to her daughters so that they could finish the ceremony.


End file.
